Category: A Love Story

Bling It On Design

When Life Gives You Lemons, “Bling It!”

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

2020 has been a year of challenges. A basket full of “lemons.” Life as we knew it came to a grinding halt. We adjusted. Readjusted. Managed. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months. Nothing changed. But time kept going. More “lemons.” Fires. Social injustice. Hurricanes. Loss. And more loss. We needed SOMETHING. Something to fill the empty spaces. To bring joy. 

The upside. Getting to spend EVERY DAY with my daughter, Ashley; hubby, Tyler, and my two beautiful grandchildren, Cruz and Willow, since this craziness began in March. Blessed Mimi. No doubt. Walks, kids play, puzzles and more. We filled six to eight hours a day for nearly eight months. But. We needed more.

Urged on by the silent voice of Greg (my late husband/Ashley’s dad), Ashley and I founded Bling It on by M&M, a trendy and unique company creating personalized and custom designs for babies, toddlers, kids, and adults. Bling It On By M&M was actually rooted back in the 90’s and early 2000’s as a mere hobby and has now become our dream. While designing funky and unique clothing for ourselves, Greg would encourage us to launch our own business. Too timid and apprehensive, we let our dream slide. Fast forward to 2020. Bored. Uncertain. Seeking stimulation. With a double dose addiction to shopping and passion for fashion, we realized, “We can do this ourselves! We can create! Be creative! And have fun doing it!” Juggling the roles of Mommy, Mimi and designers, Bling It On by M&M was born. 

Our designs are meant to sparkle. “Bling it on.” Joy.  Happiness. Something for everyone. From babies, toddlers and kids to moms and dads. Bling or no bling. Unique. Trendy. Custom. Personalized. Exciting. From our heart to yours, Made with an extra dose of love.

This is the next chapter in my fairytale. The continuation of my story. I will keep going.  I have to believe Greg would be proud. Of me. Ashley. And the two of us together. Mama and Mimi. Let’s do this thing!

#blingiton #blingitonbymm #bling #kidsclothingboutique #kidsclothing #babyclothing #personalizedclothing #personalizedjewelry #personalizedaccessories #personalizedgifts  #customclothing #customjewelry #customaccessories #customgifts #trendykids #trendykidsclothes #trendybabyclothes #unisex #unisexclothing

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Year 6

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

6 years, 72 months, 2190 days, 52,560 hours, 3,153,600 minutes, 189,215,800 seconds since you’ve been gone…and it still seems like yesterday. August. Ugh. The calendar turns over and so do my nerves. But it’s there. The month. And it’s full of anticipation. Reliving the moments. The joy. The laughter. Family. Together time. And then. Gone. Over. Life changed. In. A. Moment. Life doesn’t give you do overs. We all learned that. We were left standing. Empty handed. Empty hearted. We still are. 

I write this tribute to Greg every year. Honor his memory. The words flow. Easy. From my heart. 2020? So different. My feelings? The same. Melancholy. Heavyhearted. Nostalgic. But. So are hundreds of thousands of other people. Families suffering with the loss of loved ones. Mothers. Fathers. Sisters. Brothers. Sons. Daughters. Grandparents. Friends. How can I mourn alone when I know there are so many who share the same pain? Who will continue to feel the emptiness? I think about all of them. I want to touch. Listen. And say, “Somehow we make it. One minute. One day. One week. And suddenly. A year at a time. Breathe. Life may be different. That’s okay. But you can see love and beauty again.” I can honor Greg today. But I will not drown in the despair. I will share this moment with so many others. I will join hands and say, “we will survive.” 

Memories. Social media flooded with photos. Year after year. Travels. Happy times. Together. “Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” August. A month of OUR moments. Family moments. Reminders of our life well lived. I embrace the moments. Value them as polished diamonds. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing can replace the moments. Memories. Embedded in my heart.

Greg taught me so much about life. But he taught me even more in his death. Death taught me “that tomorrow is real, and yesterday is no longer here. It made me realize that living inside my comfort zone means that I don’t appreciate life as much as I should. It taught me to respect my sunrises and sunsets. To dance when music is playing. To laugh at least two times a day and to say I love you even when I am mad at someone. Because at the end of this, nothing else will matter.” And we all learned that family is what matters. We are blessed. We have each other. Our family. A bond that will never break.

I love you. Our last words to each other. Standing on the beach that day. August 30th, 2014. I can still hear him. And I know he meant every one of those three simple words. Blessed. Truly. For nearly 39 years. We built a life. A family. A love. I’m grateful for what was. No regrets for what could have been. Our “happily ever after” may have ended that day, but we had the fairy tale. It just wasn’t long enough.

Life doesn’t give us do overs. Today is here. I am here. I miss Greg. He is in my heart forever. I have moments of sadness. Loss. Loneliness. But. I can’t stop. I must breathe. Live. I know that’s what he would want me to do. Want our children to do. Six years. Time will pass. It doesn’t stop. And neither should we. Forever grateful and blessed. #August30#timestoodstill#missyoualways#loveyouforever❤️

Happy Father’s Day 2020!

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

Happy Father’s Day Greg! Five Father’s Days, six years without you. It never gets easier. As each holiday rolls around I find myself in a state of melancholy. It washes over me. Encompasses my being. Uncontrollable. I don’t realize it’s happening. But. The calendar reminds me. You. Should be here. Celebrating. Your family. Kids. Grandkids. We. Should be celebrating. Together. I’m sad for what you’ve missed. The joy. The laughter. Their love. Smiles. The milestones. The way they make every day better. Especially when life seems to suck. 

These are hard times right now. As much as I want you here, I don’t. The pandemic. Economic hardships. Police brutality. Riots. America in crisis. It’s a world of stress. Unhappiness. Life as you knew it has stopped. And. It’s sad. Struggling through these difficult days, I summon your strength. Spirit. Anything to pull me through. Years ago I asked to share your legacy. Simple.  Be kind. Compassionate. Listen. Be good. Do good. Live good. Be 1% better every day. A universal message that can touch so many lives. Touch others and leave YOUR silent mark on this world. I ask that again on this Father’s Day. Share the message. For a better tomorrow. 

We miss you. Your light. Your love. Your laughter. But. It lives on. Your children. They have your spirit. Drive. Determination. Compassion. Love. I see you. Hear you. Feel you. But. It will never be the same. I will always wish. 

As we mark the official start of summer, it’s a time for new beginnings.  Sunlight.  A time to reflect. Shining light to reflect on our being. Open our hearts. Recognize blessings. Allow the warmth and light to envelope us with a blanket of peace. This is my hope and prayer for this Father’s Day. For all fathers. May we live in a world where our children can live together. With love. Peace. And harmony. #happyfathersday#blessings#peace#lovetoall

The “Should Have Been” 66

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

Dear Greg,

Today is another of those “should have been” celebrations. Your 66th birthday!  Six birthdays. Without you. Six birthdays trying to figure out how to keep celebrating when sometimes celebrating is the last thing I want to do. This is one of those times. It’s been a rough week. The world was reminded of the fragility of life. It touched so close to home. A superstar, his child and seven others with families and loves lost their lives. In a moment. A flash. And the world mourned. What began as an ordinary day ended in tragedy. And no one gets it. They shake their heads. Question. Why? How could this happen? Unfortunately. It does. And as truly awful as it is it happened to these nine people. A horrific tragedy that leaves surviving members struggling to put the pieces of their lives back together. Lives that will NEVER be the same again. My heart breaks. It physically hurts. No words to explain. Because I have felt that agonizing pain. One minute life is normal. And the next. It’s gone. Everything’s changed. You don’t  know where to turn. Where to begin. What to say. I’ve broken down so many times this week. For my pain? Or theirs? I don’t even know. Probably some of both. But the message is always the same. DON’T WASTE THE MOMENTS. We’ve heard it over and over again. We think about it. And then we don’t. We become complacent. We’ll do it tomorrow. And then we don’t. BE IN THE MOMENT. BE PRESENT. It makes a difference to those who love you and those you love. Emails, texts, FB, IG. Not going anywhere. It can wait. Loved ones. They need you. NOW.

The world has been grieving. Everywhere you turn people are talking. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Make the call. Love today. Live in the moment. Shaquille O’Neal, with tears streaming down his face, cried, “I wish I could say one last thing to the people that we lost, because once you’re gone, you’re gone forever. It really changes me, I just really now have to take time and just call and say I love you … because you never know.” But why does it take the death of a superstar to remind us? To live with compassion. Kindness. Empathy. Why does death shoot us with some powerful super drug of “let’s get real?”  It’s scary. Sad. Devastating. And final. Reminds us of our eventual mortality We stop. Cry. Hug. Love. Call our loved ones. But. What happens next week? Next month? We live our lives. Get busy. Time passes. Complacency sets in. Again. Until another “event.” But not for those whose lives have personally been shattered. Their lives will NEVER be the same again.  Not only for the superstar. The NINE families. But ALL the others. A neighbor. A friend. A stranger. All those who feel this insufferable pain of loss.   It’s a club no one wants to join.

Today on your birthday I still ask myself why? Why would they take a “good one?” Just as the world is wondering about the “nine.” But. Here’s what I’ve learned. There are no reasons. I could search forever. I could beat myself down. And never know why. Harold Kushner wrote, “I don’t know why one person gets sick, and another does not, but I can only assume that some natural laws which we don’t understand are at work. I cannot believe that God ‘sends’ illness to a specific person for a specific reason. I don’t believe in a God who has a weekly quota of malignant tumors to distribute, and consults His computer to find out who deserves one most or who could handle it best. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ is an understandable outcry from a sick and suffering person, but it is really the wrong question. Being sick or being healthy is not a matter of what God decides that we deserve. The better question is ‘If this has happened to me, what do I do now, and who is there to help me do it?’” The answer is you. And only you. It’s a treacherous climb. Steep. Rocky. Jagged. Struggling to hold on. And. One day. You breathe. You see the other side. It’s foggy. But. It will clear. Little by little every day. Until suddenly. The sun is shining. Once again.

Six birthdays without you. Today is the day to celebrate YOU. This day will always belong to you. We celebrate your Love. Kindness. Generosity. Compassion. Smile. All that was YOU. Ellen DeGeneres said, “Life is short and it’s fragile. And we don’t know how many birthdays we have. We don’t have to have a birthday to celebrate. Just celebrate life. And if you haven’t told someone you love them. Do it. Now. Do it.” I love you. You will forever be in my heart. The only purpose in loss is to live a life of purpose. Find our blessings. And always. Always. Be grateful. For life. Today. Tomorrow. Forever.

P.S. Make the call. Tell someone you love them. Don’t wait. Tomorrow may not be another day. Celebrate TODAY!

“The Would Have Been” 44

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

Dear Greg,

Today “would have been” our 44th anniversary. It “would have been” a day we spent celebrating our love for one another. A day together. Because. You ALWAYS made January 10th OUR day. Why the “would have been?” Because. You are NOT here. And. That’s MY reality. For six years I celebrated these occasions “as if.” I said, “Happy Anniversary.” “As if” you’d walk into the room. “As if” we’d celebrate all night long. But. We won’t. Not ever. Reality. It is the anniversary of our wedding day. But. We won’t exchange mushy cards. Surprise gifts. Cheers to the years. Or pat each on the back for conquering another year!  Why is this day more important than others? It was OURS. WE chose it. Together. To celebrate. EVERY YEAR. Our love. July 2014 (one month before you left this earth) we vowed to be married for 75 years. We made plans and God laughed. I still believe. In my heart. We would have made it. But those dreams will never be. Things are different. It’s our “would have been.”

 

In this “would have been” moment I can think of so many things I’d say to you. Today we “would have” been married for 16,060 days, 385,440 hours, 23,126,400 minutes, over 1387 million seconds! We “would have” shared over 120,400 hours of snuggle time, nearly 14 years! Man how I miss those snuggles! I miss your soft hands and twinkling eyes. I miss that silly laugh that made you squeal with tears rolling from your eyes. Days, hours, years of love, laughs, struggles, and hardships. Our journey. Our story. We were so young. 21. Innocent. In love. What did we know about life? Marriage? We learned. And. NEVER gave up. There were moments. Pauses. But. We always found our way back. That was our secret. We knew the beginning was where we always needed to be. Our love. Our foundation. Our strength. Our bond. 

We conquered so many challenges. Together. Raising our family. Building a business. Highs. Lows. Loss. But. We ALWAYS knew it was the two of us. In the end. It would always be the two of us. It’s not. So today I celebrate the “would have been.’ Our hopes. Our dreams. I carry you in my heart. I saw your message. #lucy I know that was you. Others may think I’m crazy. Or not understand. But I do. That is MY gift. The BEST gift ever. 

Reality. Being a widow on this day sucks. But. I was blessed for 39 years. Some are never as lucky as I was. I’m grateful. My soulmate, best friend, and partner. We were not perfect, but we were perfect for each other. Our journey was one I will cherish forever. The memories are etched in my heart. Cheers to our “would have been” 44! Loving you was the best thing I ever did! I just wish our fairytale had lasted a little while longer…

Happy 43rd Anniversary!

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

Dear Gregger,
43 Years…Our Anniversary…Happy? 4 ½ years ago it was. For 38 years it was a day to celebrate. Us. But today? No. For better or worse. ‘Til death do us part. As we did. Parted. August 30th, 2014. I stand here alone. 43 years. Wondering. Wishing. Wanting. But that’s all I can do. I believed in fairytales. Happily ever afters. This wasn’t our ending. I want a rewrite. Now what? How do I “celebrate?” How can I find joy on this special day that joined us together as “one?” We were writing our story. But there are so many blank pages. I can only go back and read what was. Because that’s all there will ever be. Memories.

January 10, 1976. Our first dance. “We’ve Only Just Begun.” “White lace and promises.” I wore white lace. We made promises. Promise to love. Respect. Support. Through good times and bad. “A kiss for luck and we’re on our way.” And so we were. Move to Arizona. One child. Two. Three. Building a life. Our home. Our future. But. “We’d only just begun.” Still “so many roads to choose. We started out walking and learned to run.” But, yet, we’d still only just begun. Life changed along the roads. And so did we. We laughed. We cried. We stumbled. We got up again. But, through it all, we were “us.” Together. “Sharing horizons that were new to us. Watching signs along the way. Talkin’ it over, just the two of us. Workin’ together day to day. Together.” In the end. That’s what mattered. Together. Just the two of us. Friends. Lovers. Soul mates.

“And when the evening came, we smiled. So much of life ahead.” That’s what we thought. That’s where plans changed. God had us fooled. We had plans. But He had different ones. And suddenly. Life changed. Now, “I’ll find a place where there’s room to grow. I’ve only just begun. I watch horizons that are new to me. Watching the signs along the way. Talking it over but you’re not there. Working it out day to day. Alone. And lonely. And when the evening comes, I think of you. Where did our moments go? I’ll keep searching for a place to grow. And, yes, I’ve only just begun.”

I want to rewrite our ending. Rewind. Redo. Just certain things. Words. Actions. Those moments wasted quarreling over minuscule nothings. I want to fill the blank pages. But we don’t get second chances. This was it. I have so many words left to say. So many more “I love you’s.” “I’m sorry.” “Forgive me.” And more “I love you’s” after that. So as we “celebrate” this 43rd year, I cherish the moments we had. I’m grateful for your lessons. The big ones, the small ones, and the “Greggerisms.” They are invaluable. They give me strength. Courage. And confidence. To stand on my feet. To survive. And to remember. Keep smiling through the storm. Because. At the end of the storm, there’s a rainbow. Where hopes, dreams and wishes really do come true.

I will not to be sad today. I’ve cried too many tears. Instead. I will be grateful. For the years we had together. The love we shared. Our family. Our life. And the memories I hold in my heart. We were blessed. Cheers to us!

Forever in my heart. You will always be my “one.” Happy 43rd! I love you…???   

My anniversary wish: For those lucky enough to be together. Those lucky enough to hold their loved one close. Hold tight. Share the joy. Take time. Time to listen. To play. To rest. Put away devices. Talk. Be present. This moment is the only one you’ve got. No second chances. Live it. Love it. Enjoy it all. And Love. Just love.

We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us
so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid,
or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder.
We always have the choice.

Happy New Year 2019

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

As I sit here reflecting on 2018, I ask myself, “What would I do differently? What would I change? How could I have been better?” I don’t have exact answers. It was a year of happy moments, a year of loss, a year of ups, downs, and all the in-betweens. It was LIFE. Every day presented something new. A challenge. An obstacle. Joy. Stress. Family. Friendship. Laughter. Love. But, each day was an opportunity to grow. To learn. To become better. To be kind. Compassionate. Patient. Empathic. Nurturing. And grateful. Always grateful. Not for “things.” But for the people we are so blessed to have in our lives. The people who fill our hearts. We so often take these people for granted. We forget. And just go about our daily business. But it’s important to stop and take a moment. I’m not sure I did that quite enough. So I’m reminding myself now. And I remind myself every day. So maybe it’s not what I’d  change. I do it. But I want to do it better. Stop. Be in the moment.  Enjoy. LIVE this life. We are only here for a moment. 2019. Bring it on. It’s “neither an end nor a beginning but a going on.” And I’m ready to keep going.

Wishing everyone a healthy, happy 2019. A year filled with joy, love and peace. Peace around the world. Peace within your world. Peace within your heart.

Happy Birthday Gregger!

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

Dear Gregger –

?Happy 64th Birthday! ? Really? Is that even possible? Wasn’t it just yesterday I was planning your surprise party? Four years. Past. Gone. Your 60th birthday. Your last. Your best. What I wouldn’t give for one more celebration. You should be here. We should be celebrating. We should be raising our glasses together.?? But. God had different plans. As the old saying goes, “We make plans and God laughs.” Well he must have had one good chuckle when he heard our plans.

I could make this about me. How I miss you. ?Miss us. Miss my friend. My partner. My best love. But. You know all that. Or. I hope you do. I thought it’d be easier by now. It’s not. Sometimes it’s harder. Because time passes. Quickly. And I realizes nothing changes. I just keep getting older. But everything else? Stays the same. Lonely. Empty. And longing for what I’m missing. You.

But. Today is not about me. It’s about YOU. You who gave so much in this life. To me. Your kids. Your friends. Your colleagues. You who touched everyone with your smile. Your twinkling eyes. Your kind heart. You who radiated kindness and generosity. You were the spirit of joy. Love. And all that is good. Perfect? No. But. I laugh now at your imperfections. Your quirks. They made you, you. And that’s why I loved you so. I always say you taught me to be the best version of me. I’m still learning. But. It’s your lessons. Your reminders. They help me grow. I am forever grateful. For you. Our life. Our love.

What do I wish on your special day? I wish you peace. Love. Joy. Your light continues to shine on this earth. I see it. I hear it. And. Most of all. I feel it. It’s everywhere.

Happy Birthday Gregger. I love you today. I’ll love you forever.

Chapter 2…Happy Holidays!

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I’ve been off the grid. Nothing life shattering. Just. Life. In the past, I would have stressed. I’d push myself. Write. Get it done. Post. Something. Not now. I stop. And enjoy. Don’t get me wrong. I love writing. Connecting. Sharing. But life. It’s precious. And I need to enjoy. Cherish. And live. In. The. Moment. I don’t want to look back and say, “Shoulda.” I want to look back and say, “I did.” So. I am. Busy. With family. Friends. Baby. Sweet. Precious. Moments.

I spoke of this with a friend the other day. He was kind enough to point out the “unobvious.” “You are moving on. You are okay. You don’t need “outlets.” Or venting mechanisms. You’ve figured it out. And let go. He was right. And. It felt so good. A giant leap in the world of grief.

‘Tis the season. To be merry. Bright. Happy and light. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. But. Not for all. Despite the highs, the little “lows” creep in. We fight. We push back. No matter how hard “we” try, we can’t forget. We don’t want to. We should never forget. There is a piece missing. A piece that will never be replaced. Recovered. It’s an empty space. Whether it’s a day, a month, a year, or ten, the holiday season can be tough. Bittersweet. We are inundated with songs reminding us to surround ourselves with loved ones. Buying presents reminds us of the one we won’t buy this year or ever again. But. There is hope. And a way to survive the season with smiles. Follow your heart. Your way. And make the BEST of the holiday season.

Simple suggestions for holiday survival…

Share memories, stories, prayers to honor your lost loved one. Light a candle. Donate to a favorite charity. Display a picture or ornament amid holiday decorations.

Sit back. Take a break. Don’t try to overdo. The holidays. Still there. You can recreate them to be whatever YOU choose. Whatever feels good in YOUR life. At that moment. For now. Next year may be different. But honor today.

Support is crucial. Ask. Take. Give. It’s really okay. People want to help. More than not, they just don’t know how.

Surround yourself with positivity. It’s contagious.

Stop struggling with your feelings – feel them, accept them.

Say how YOU feel. If you’re happy, shout it out. If you’re sad, share it. Don’t stuff it or “suck it up” because you’re “supposed to.” Stuffing and suppressing leads to more “sucky” feelings. We all have “something.” Sharing is caring.

Serve others with the gift of yourself. Small services can fill your heart with an abundance of joy.

Spend the holiday with family and friends. They are the greatest gift we have. We may not wrap them. Or tie them with fancy bows. But they are there. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. With love.

Stay stress-free. Focus on NOW. Today. The “stuff” will be there tomorrow. Let it go. And just enjoy.

Seek out the blessings, gratitude. They are EVERYWHERE. Sometimes hidden. But if you look. You will find them. And they may even surprise you.

Select activities that bring joy. Smiles. And happy feelings.

Skip nonsensical activities. If you don’t care. Don’t go. If you’re stomach’s churning. Don’t go. If it doesn’t feel good. Don’t do it. Pick one. Maybe two. Push. A little. Outside the box. You’ll know. Your choice. Each year. Just might be a little different. Hope.

Speak up. If you don’t want to participate. Don’t. No rules. Just. Your rules. It’s okay. Whatever YOU choose. No judgements.

Set aside time for YOU. Exercise. Eat healthy. Sleep. Take care of you. You’re the only one you’ve got!

Surprise someone. It might jolt an unexpected joy in your heart.

Steer clear of those who pressure, “bring you down,” or simply cannot accept YOU! This is no time to doubt yourself, your feelings, or your actions. Believe in you. Honor yourself.

I am grateful for all of you. For your love, support, and friendship. You have comforted me through some of my toughest days. You may not know it. Emoji hearts. Words. And smiles. They all touch my heart. They have lifted my spirits and given me strength to move forward. To keep moving. To live. A very full life. It will never be the same. Holidays will never be the same. But. I am accepting the “different.” And that’s okay too.

Wishing all of you the happiest of holidays. May this year bring joy, love, and an abundance of peace.

Chapter 2…Strike 3 and You’re Out!

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

The dating game. Sucks. Truly. I’m happy to say, I’m officially off the online market. Cannot take one more loser. Weirdo. Liar. Manipulator. I’d rather be alone. For the rest of my life. I decided. One more try. I had shut down. But again. I was bored. So why not? Check it out. Read the messages. They’re humorous. Entertaining. I was lured in. They were cheesy. But. Better than nothing. It was Saturday night. And there I was. Alone. On my couch. With Angel. How pathetic. One dude. Talked about feeling young. Acting young. Laughter. (I was ready. Laughter was enticing.) Surround yourself with happiness. Sounded good. On paper. Of course. Anyone can. Gave my number. Hated messaging on the site. Call me. Text me. Anything but the site. So he did. Texted first. Called soon after. Conversation. Decent. Laughter. Easy. Not bad. Lived an hour away. Not too close. Not too far. Wanted to come the next day. No time to think. So. I said okay. He set the time. Made plans. Cool. What the hell. I had nothing to lose. Right? Wrong!

Morning came. And went. No text. No call. I figured. Blow off. Again. I’m used to it. Add it to the journey. I kind of thought he’d been drinking. Couldn’t remember talking to me anyway. Oh well. And then. He called. Some story. Probably BS. But, an excuse. Running late. But, coming. Strike 1. I was over it. Wanted to chill on the couch. Empty my DVR. But that’s not how I’d ever move forward. So I picked my ass up and went. I walked into the restaurant. Searched the room. Headed straight to the bar. To the WRONG guy! Ugh! Saw him standing.  Dude: “Where were you going?” Me: “Just took my sunglasses off. Couldn’t adjust to the light.” WTF could I say? The other guy was old and ugly! Dude wasn’t bad. As far as my record had gone. But it was dark. Dressed okay. Kind of a pretty boy. Turns out he was a “pretty boy.” But that day wasn’t bad. Conversation. A bit weird. Thinking back. Really inappropriate. Especially. For a first date. But. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was trying to go with it. Dumb. Dumb. And. Dumber.

As the week went on, we talked. Texted. Not bad. Entertaining. Better than most. Kind of normal. But. Where was my perspective? Obviously. Distorted. Very. Very. Distorted. Ugh. He was coming back. The weekend. One day. Made a plan. After workout. After tanning. (As in spray? No. Bed. Ewww! Who does that anymore??) After sunning. (Really? You just tanned.) Around 12:30. I did my morning thing. Workout. Coffee. Came home. Got ready. 12:30. Came and went. Are you serious? And then came the text. “Fell asleep. Jumping in shower. On the road soon.” Well. I knew where I stood. On the priority list. Workout. Tan. Tan. Shower. Me. Two weeks in a row. Strike 2.

By the time “pretty boy” showed up, I was tired, cranky, and pissed. My head was swimming with words of advice from my more experienced sisters. He had barely stepped into my kitchen when I said, “My sister said I need your last name.” Pretty Boy: “Give her my phone number.” Me: “What’s that going to do? I asked for your last name.” Pretty Boy: “Have her call my work.” Me: “That’s not what I asked.” Dude never gave it to me. Strike 3. He should have been out. Me: Dumb. Dumber. And. Now. Dumbest!

Without the rest of the gory details, it went from bad to worse to gross and obnoxious. I. COULD. NOT. WAIT. FOR. HIM. TO. LEAVE! He got the message. Maybe. He was a nice guy. I don’t know. But. Let him be nice for some other lost soul. Not me.

But. I learned. This was another part of my journey. My dating journey. It may end here. Who knows? Or this may lead me to something greater. I’m learning what I want. What I don’t want. Online dating? Done. Long distance? No. Stop. Phonelationships. Textationships. Dating? In person. Face to face. Real dating. My rules. My way. I’ve never been stronger. And I like it that way. So. I’m back on the couch. For now. Just me and my Angel. Until next time.