The Letter - A true love fairytale

The Letter

I was the writer in the family. But on the Hallmark occasions Gregger came through. Always two.. one, mushy, sweet, romantic and another, goofy with sexual inuendos. No complaints...I knew too many people who came up empty-handed. Signed with special messages of love, I saved just about every one. Boxes and boxes of all cards and letters dating back forty years. We were Hallmark's dream couple. Digging through my closet today I discovered a different kind of Love Letter from the Gregger...this wasn't covered in flowers or caricatures with sexy bodies...it was a Family Love Letter for A Time of Confusion. I don't ever remember seeing this letter, although I have vague memories of discussing Read more [...]

Forty Shades of “Gray”

    "Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don't exist, but there's always one guy that is perfect for you."   No bondage, no domination, no submission, just the subdued blending of black and white into the compromising shades of gray.  Gregger was MY perfect. While I consider our love story one filled with love and  passion, we were no Christian and Ana... no contracts, just vows and commitments, no S & M, just support and mindfulness.   My 40 Shades of Gray is something that comes with the maturity of wedded bliss...it's learning to soften the lines between his black and my white (or my black and his white), conforming to the perfect Read more [...]
The Fourth Child - A True Love Fairytale

Our Fourth Child T.C.

      Gregger and I were blessed with three beautiful children, Adam, Ryan, and Ashley, two in-laws, Katrina and Tyler, and two adorable grandchildren, Jacob and Liliana. This was the crux of our family and in forty years together we had our share of love, traumas, aggravation, and more love. In addition to this blessed family, we had a fourth child...T.C. Gregger had so much love and passion for this child. He nurtured it, "fed" it, watched it tumble, grow, and eventually become nationally recognized for outstanding achievements. While I was extremely proud of T.C., I often experienced jealousy, annoyance, and resentment. How could I possibly feel that way for a child Read more [...]

The View

For over 20 years, I have gazed out my kitchen window while sipping my morning coffee. What have I seen?  Hummingbirds fluttering by, bunnies hopping, sun rising in the east, and every now and then a few wispy clouds overhead. In 20 years I think I have been too oblivious, too caught up in the "view" before me. I have been too busy rushing to straighten up, get a load of laundry done, make Gregger's oatmeal, or catch up on social media. In other words, I never realized what was right in front of me. When we traveled, the view became a whole different world. WE actually STOPPED. We saw the world through four eyes and it was beautiful!  the coastline of Italy while cruising the Read more [...]
chip chip hooray - a true love fairytale

Chip, Chip Hooray!

So February 24th was National Tortilla Chip Day...I discovered almost every food is worthy of it's own National celebration day, but National Tortilla Chip Day, this one would probably make Gregger smile more than his birthday, our anniversary or the birth of his children! Tortilla chips - even on his worst day, these would make that man smile! Round or triangulated, slightly salty, crunchy, crispy...simply irresistible! Every night the bag awaited him accompanied by his favorite salsa...sometimes chunky, sometimes smooth...sometimes mango mixed or black bean and corn. He munched and we caught up on the events of the day...his work, my "whatever." A night without chips was a day unfulfilled. Read more [...]
6 months - a true love fairytale

Six Months

        Dear Gregger. Six months...184 days...4,416 hours...264,960 minutes since we said "I love you" on the Maui beach. Six months since fate changed our lives forever. There's so much I want to say to you, yet you aren't here. I miss you. You know that. I love you. You know that too. What you don't know is that I get angry and hurt and mixed up and lost. Sometimes I go outside and look up at the stars and think I can see one twinkling so much brighter...is that you? I hate being angry, but sometimes it just happens. People say I am strong. I have tried to be and most days I am. Some days are just harder than others. Six months...this just seems to be a Read more [...]
the smile - atrue love fairytale

The Smile

Smile, though your heart is aching Smile, even though it's breaking When there are clouds in the sky You'll get by... If you smile Through your fear and sorrow Smile and maybe tomorrow You'll find that life is still worthwhile If you just smile...Because of his smile, he made my life more beautiful. Gregger had the greatest smile...tooth-bearing, eye-twinkling grin...seriously, his smile just melted my heart. Even in the worst of times (I could be seething mad at him!), he would tug at the corners of his mouth, contorting them to a smug boyish grin, until I could no longer contain my rage...I mellowed from ranting rage to nearly quiet calm.If Gregger smiled at you, he touched your heart. His Read more [...]
Hit the pause button - a true love story fairytale

Hit the Pause Button

I pulled up my TimeHop this morning (a crazy app that turns back the hands of time), and I was slammed with this reminder from 4 years ago... "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. I think it's time to hit the 'pause' button." Rewind to 2010...kids gone establishing their own lives, Greg building businesses, and me, trying to keep balance between it all. Life should have slowed down, but it just seemed to increase in speed...the more time we had, the less we had.  I believe we were both striving for the same goals, the same "end" but Gregger worked his ass off to get there...he just didn't know how to stop. He had so much passion for his stores, Read more [...]
Little white lies - A True Love Fairytale

Little White Lies

        One of the best lessons I ever learned from my mother-in-law was to tell "little white lies." You're probably asking yourself, "Why in the world would a mother encourage lying, especially to her own son?" I asked myself that same question, only for a nanosecond mind you, when I figured out that it was working in my very best interest. Now I did not make a habit of "lying" but these little fibs, these little truth "stretchers" (as I prefer to think of them) were sometimes for the benefit of myself, my kids, or even Gregger himself. The best of those "little white lies:" 1. "Something new" This old thing..it's been hanging in my closet for at least a year. 2. Read more [...]
Sunday Funday - A True Love Fairytale

Sunday Funday

 I have a love-hate relationship with Sundays...it used to be my favorite day of the week. It was "our" day together. I would sleep in a little bit (lucky to push past the 7 am mark) and awake to an already sweaty Gregger sitting at the kitchen table reading the Sunday paper. The coupon pages had been separated into piles across my kitchen counter...why he believed I was still cutting coupons, I have no idea! Sometimes I would cut them and give them to him just to make him happy. He got so excited with a Crest or Tide coupon...save a buck and he smiled! My coffee cup was neatly set out on a paper towel, spoon by its side, equal packets and my sugar free syrups all ready to pour...who couldn't Read more [...]