The Letter

I was the writer in the family. But on the Hallmark occasions Gregger came through. Always two.. one, mushy, sweet, romantic and another, goofy with sexual inuendos. No complaints…I knew too many people who came up empty-handed. Signed with special messages of love, I saved just about every one. Boxes and boxes of all cards and letters dating back forty years. We were Hallmark’s dream couple. Digging through my closet today I discovered a different kind of Love Letter from the Gregger…this wasn’t covered in flowers or caricatures with sexy bodies…it was a Family Love Letter for A Time of Confusion. I don’t ever remember seeing this letter, although I have vague memories of discussing something like this. It must have been one of the moments I turned off, tuned out, and buried my head in the sand. He must have been talking death, dying, or something that was completely unforseeable in my present state. I had no use for such inane conversations…little did I know this WAS my FUTURE.

 Gregger was the guy who smiled…at everyone. He never let you know if he was having a good day or a bad day. Gregger wanted to hear YOUR story. He wanted to make things better for you…fix things. He was the GIVER, never the taker.  Gregger started writing this letter in May of 2012. It tells a tale of a wonderful husband and father who lay awake at night because he:

• did not feel he was providing well enough for his family
• knew he was not taking good enough care of himself
• worried about the “what ifs”
• worried he could lose everything he worked for
• worried about his family’s security
• believed he was making a living, but not making a life
• wanted to do more, be more for his family
• knew his work was never done…always thinking of ways to be bigger, better, greater, grander

I can’t say I didn’t know. I begged to lift the load or at least lighten it a little…he wanted to carry it all. He was SUPER GREGGER. He worked hard, played hard, loved hard, and, obviously, worried hard. He worried about me, the kids, but he did it with a smile. He would tell me he had a bad day, but then he would say it would all be okay. Nothing bad ever lasted more than a few minutes. He wouldn’t let it, or he wouldn’t let me see it.  In the true essence of the word, he was our Hero…the man with the HEART of GOLD. Gregger could never do enough, be enough, give enough. He would drop anything for just about anyone, anywhere, anytime. Even while on vacay in Maui he was trying to get special buttons for one of his clients. He was searching his Ipad every morning in desperation. Really? Wasn’t he supposed to be taking a break? Not the Gregger! It was the best of him, the worst of him. It was what made him Gregger. The best answers came in Gregger’s Love Letter…

What do you want to be known for? “Being a good person.” A good person? Gregger…you were a GREAT person. You were the BEST person I will ever know.

What is most important to you? “My family.” Yes, Gregger…we feel your love each and every day. We feel it from the clouds, the sun, and the stars.

And we are all better people because you touched our lives.