Tag: gregger

Letters-of-Hope-Continued

Letters of Hope Continued…

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
So it probably seems to many of you reading this blog that I’ve been writing about the same thing forever. This IVF thing is tough. The waiting. The hoping. The praying. And waiting some more. I’m glad I wrote during that time. Not only for how I felt then but for how I feel now. To realize that I can still turn to Gregger. But I can also handle it on my own. I can find the strength. Dig deep. Stand tall. And keep going. Through the toughest days. And, somehow, the sun always shines brightest on the other side. So writing continued to be my savior. May 28 Dear Gregger, I spent today with Ashley and Tyler. We went to look at houses. They found a house they love, but standing there I felt Read more [...]
Memories Fade and Messages Appear

Memories Fade and Messages Appear Making those Memories Clear

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
"'When you wanted to forget everything would return in raw brutal focus. When you wanted to remember the details would slip away like a dream at dawn." I read this the other day and it struck a significant chord. Wham! Straight to my heart! Some days I struggle to bring the memories to life. I fight with my brain. Bring it in. Clearer. Clearer. I can't see it. Focus. I don't remember. Frustrating. I want it etched in my mind. Every detail. I don't want to forget. I want to see Gregger. Every part of him. His eyes. They sparkled every time he looked at me. Gleaming with a touch of emerald. His beautiful bald head. Took me ages to convince him to get rid of the fuzz. I loved his baldness. Sexy. Read more [...]
Celebration and Survival

Celebration and Survival

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
”The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” The days and weeks leading up to August 30th were tense. 2 years. You’d think it’d be easier. No. I was anxious. Emotional. Restless. Stressed. My stomach was in knots. My body ached. Anticipation. It does all kinds of crazy things. The BIG day. What would I feel? Would I break down? Could I handle it? AGAIN? The rush of memories. The flashes. Ugh. I just wanted to close my eyes. Wake up on August 31st. But that wasn’t real. That was an escape. And as others told me, the anticipation was far worse than the Read more [...]
Gregger Pitti-Uomo-June-14-606

Here We Go…Year 3

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
Dear Gregger, Two years. Is that even possible? It seems like the blink of an eye. And then it seems like an eternity. So much has changed. So much has stayed the same. The one constant. You aren’t here. And I miss you as much as the day you left this earth. My heart still aches. I thought it would get easier. But here’s the thing. It doesn’t. I keep going. I live. Parts of me are even happy at times. But I’m empty. My soul is empty. I just can’t fill that void. I don’t know that I ever will. I haven’t written for a long time. It was too hard. Too sad. I didn’t want to expose myself. It was easier to hide. Smile. Pretend. And cry behind closed doors. Everyone has their cards. Read more [...]

Happy Birthday Gregger!

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
Happy Birthday, Gregger! #62! Today we celebrate YOU! Not the life you lost. But the life you LIVED! The love you shared. The joy you radiated. Your smile. Your laughter. Your grace and humility. A son. Brother. Father. Husband. And friend. Everyone’s friend. Those lucky enough to cross your path loved you. Minutes, days, years, or a lifetime. A shake of your hand, a smile, a kind word. You touched peoples' hearts. You left a mark. So we celebrate YOU. 2012…We celebrated at Dominick’s and went to Old Town to party with the young folk! What the heck were we thinking? I don’t think we lasted very long. Our ears couldn’t take it! But we laughed. Loved. And cheered. 2013…San Diego. Read more [...]
merry christmas gregger

Merry Christmas Gregger!

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
Merry Christmas Gregger… I know it’s technically not “our” holiday, but being in retail, we waited for this day all year long. The END of the holiday season. A day off. A family day. A day of togetherness. Happy times. Laughter. And love. So much love. So we celebrated. The joy. The blessings. And us. We loved playing Santa’s elves from the beginning. Do you remember our first Xmas? I have visions of those presents piled around that hideous plaid couch dancing in my head. We were like two little kids. We woke up early in the morning. We couldn’t wait to tear those packages apart. And my dream gift that year? A pair of Frye boots! Light tan with the buckle on the side.  I was cooler Read more [...]
greg eveloff

Gregger’s Legacy…Today It Begins

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
I’ve started writing this post over and over again. I’ve gone in so many different directions. But the same thing keeps coming back to me. I am overwhelmed with the abundance of love and support that overflowed on Sunday for Gregger. Facebook messages, texts, phone calls, collages, and more. It was endless. It is still coming. But the messages had a common bond. And that’s what keeps coming back to me. One message stated, “ When someone like Greg leaves us, and because of his special personal magnitude of impact in all our lives, it's like trying to fill a huge universe black hole. So incredibly vast and infinitely impossible to fill!! A true testimony to a spirit that changed all Read more [...]
thank-you

Thank You

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
I’ve made it through the worst of times. Death. Firsts. And now it’s time to say “thank you.” I  need to divert from the blog for a bit. I would not have made it here without YOU. Family. Friends. Strangers. You helped me reach this road. You’ve been by my side on this journey. A journey that continues. A journey that looks toward the future instead of looking back in the past. I will always remember. I will hold the memories in my heart forever. And you have helped me. You have supported me in ways I never dreamed possible. You have given me strength when I thought my world was falling apart. Someone asked me the other day, “Are you overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support?” Read more [...]
one more day

One More Day

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
Dear Gregger, If I could have just one more day and wishes did come true, I'd spend every glorious moment side by side with you. Recalling all the years we shared and memories we made, how grateful I would be to have just one more day. Where the tears I've shed are not in vain and only fall in bliss, so many things I'd let you know about the days you've missed. I wouldn't have to make pretend you never went away, how grateful I would be to have just one more day. When that day came to a close and the sun began to set, a million times I'd let you know I never will forget. The heart of gold you left behind when you entered Heaven's gate, how grateful I would be to have Read more [...]
the first ten seconds

The First 10 Seconds

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment
I have relived the events of August 30th so many times in my head. Rewind. Replay. I want a different ending. I don't get one. I want answers. They don't come. I heard the other day that within the first 10 seconds you have five immediate reactions to tragic news. I believe I experienced every single one. Flee - Run away. As fast as I can. This cannot be happening. If I run, escape, it will not be real. It is a movie playing out on the shore. Someone else's body. Not my husband's. Who are these people wrapping their arms around me? Let me go. I'm okay. I can go back to my chair. Soak up the sun. Listen to the waves slapping the shore. Peace. If I run, I can hide. If I hide, it will be okay. Read more [...]