memorial day

Holiday Weekends for the Heroes

Memorial dayMemorial Day Weekend. Lost in the shadows of barbecues, beer, and brotherhood, Memorial Day commemorates those who have given their lives for our country.  The heroes. Flags flutter in the wind, flowers grace cemeteries, store sales abound, sporting events blast the tube and government stops. It’s a time for family, friends, and community. For the fashion conscious (which runs in this family), Memorial Day marks the official acceptance of “white wear.” White clothing, white shoes. Yes, even Gregger pulled out the white jeans and bucks! We savor these three-day weekends. We plan, we party, we poop out.

For Gregger and I these holidays were simply a “day off.” For many years he closed the store. He was a rebel. He believed people deserved the day off. If it was a holiday, close the store. Everyone needed rest. He defied the rules. Then the shopping center gods stepped in. Lease rules. No overstepping the boundaries. So he did it his way. Holiday hours. He sucked it up and did what he had to do. Memorial Day was one of those holidays he passed off. I got lucky. I had him for two whole days. It was strange at times. I wasn’t used to his being home for two days straight. Most people would find that odd. But for 40 years Gregger worked six days a week. He never took extra days off. Two days in a row. That was really something! We savored those moments. But that was in the later years.

Scan 102 (1)This holiday weekend I was thinking back to days gone by. Memorial Days when Gregger and I were in our prime and the kids were blossoming and athetically active. Watching the French Open today brought back a bevvy of memories and emotions. I missed so many holidays with Gregger. I was busy traveling with the kids. Nothing extravagant or flashy. We were staying in roadside motels, driving from state to state.  The boys were competitive tennis players. It was a crazy life. Tennis never had a season. A year round activity. Year round schlepping to practice. Year round juggling homework, practice, tournaments, and social life. Year round stress.  And the big tournaments were always over holidays. From Labor Day to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, Easter to Memorial Day, they never ended. Our travel took us southwest, midwest, California. Gregger was stuck at home working his tail off to pay for all of the travel, coaches, equipment, and other paraphernalia. Each weekend Ashley lugged her backpack filled with coloring books and crayons.  Her faithful companion “Woof-Woof” tight in hand, Ashley sat silently on the sidelines. Meanwhile, I paced, gnawed my nails, clapped, and faked calmness as best I could (I completely failed!). If one or both of the boys made the finals, Gregger might hop a plane to surprise us. Or, if we were lucky enough for a Tucson destination, he would make it down for a match or two. It was a crazy life. But certainly a life none of us would change. Or maybe we would. The vote is out on that one.  ryan tennis

JFKI spent this weekend with new friends (stepped way out of my box – thanks Marcia and Geoff!), my son (who was sweet enough to drive over from AZ), and alone (learning to cope). I would much rather be chumming with my “buddy,” but he’s not here. I hope he’s enjoying his day off. He looked so forward to two days in a row. He lingered a little bit longer with his coffee. He scrolled slowly through his facebook page (but wouldn’t admit it!). He got a bit of “scruff” after not shaving for two days. He even settled back with a beer or two (maybe even a Jameson) to catch up on some TV. They were fun times. Good times. Memorable times. With the kids. When the kids were grown. So on this Memorial Day, I honor the heroes who died fighting for our country. But I honor my lost hero too. I miss you.

in a cinch

It’s a “Cinch”

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I knew I hit the jackpot with Gregger for so many reasons, but what woman wouldn’t love a man who loves to clean! This guy was great with a sponge, mop, vacuum, toilet brush, and more! But, his favorite was cleaning glass! He would clean mirrors, windows, tables, etageres, or whatever clear products he could put his hands on until there wasn’t a streak in sight. But, he had a science, and you did NOT mess with the Gregger! Always, and ONLY use newspaper…UGH! This left my hands and nails black and dirty. Why not just use paper towels? Nope, newspaper it was, so the job was his! For years Windex was his product of choice, until Gregger discovered the ultimate Cinch.  cinch

You would have thought this was the end-all of all products on the market. We had at least five to six bottles on stock at a time in our house, and, seriously, our windows, mirrors, and glass did NOT get THAT dirty! All was good with the cleaning world as long as Gregger had his Cinch. It pretty much worked on everything, and our house was Cinched clean. Then the dreaded day came when we had to restock and the store shelves were EMPTY. Not a bottle of Cinch in sight.  I scrounged this valley in search of that ludicrous cleaner – from Safeway, Fry’s, and Albertson’s to Target, WalMart, Home Depot and any other store that may carry cleaner. I googled it, searched Amazon, and drove myself crazy. I had to break the news. Cinch was clearly off the market. Gregger was devastated. He tried brand after brand but continued to mourn his Cinch. I think he finally settled with some Costco brand glass cleaner that was satisfactory enough to suffice his needs. Either that or window cleaning had finally taken a much lower rank on his priority pole.

the-simple-things-in-life-seems-more-meaningful-now-quote-1Now, my world is just fine without Cinch, but imagine my exhilaration when I saw this big red bottle with that inscription on the store shelf the other day. I wanted to pick up my phone and call to the heavens, “Hey Gregger…CINCH is back! All is good and clean with the world!” I just grinned. It was one of those silly moments that would have made him so happy. He didn’t care about expensive presents, fancy dinners, or flashy things, but if I had brought home a case of Cinch, he would have grinned from ear to ear. I can see it, I can feel it, and I know he’s smiling now. Sometimes it’s the little things that bring us joy, give us hope, and help us make it through another day.

gregger got his groove

Gregger Finally Got his Groove On

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This is a tough week. Countless recollections of the ultimate joy in “our” life. Reflecting on best-ever moments filled with love, family, friends, celebration, and LIFE. Gregger was in his glory. But the best memory of all…

Gregger had two left feet…he was dashing, savvy, and charming as could be, but a dancer he was not!  God love the guy…he was great at just about everything but he didn’t have a dancing bone in his body! We would get out on the dance floor and shake our groove thing, but he kind of just rocked side to side, arms shaking to and fro. He’d just smile that twinkling smile, keep on rockin’ as I twisted, twirled, schimmied, and shaked my body away. I don’t think his feet moved from one spot. Needless to say, dancing was a challenge.

imageFast forward to April 2012…Ashley and Tyler announce their  engagement. The Gregger makes an even bigger announcement to me…he wants to take dance lessons so he can do a special dance with his daughter at her wedding. I’m thinking…this is a guy who can’t pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time. We might need more than a year to get the job done. But I keep my mouth shut..I cannot burst his dream. I start searching. We actually go to Arthur Murray…OMG! What a nightmare…what a joke! They want thousands of dollars, a signed contract, and social dancing. He barely has time to breathe much less time for social dancing – not going to happen. To the rescue…our Lisa (a new employee who happens to be a ballroom dancer…what are the chances?). While Ashley learns by face-time and remote, I am the stand-in…it’s quite a production but they get the job done. The Gregger practices religiously morning and night determined to make his daughter proud.

imageMay 18th, 2014…the wedding. Magical, romantic, beautiful, every girl’s dream…but, most of all her daddy’s dream too. His dream to walk his little girl down the aisle to HER prince charming…the man he would trust to take care of his “baby” for the rest of her life…to love, honor and cherish. And he walked gallantly, because he knew, because he trusted. And then it was time…time to twirl his “baby” on that lighted dance floor. Time for the spotlight…two minutes just daddy and daughter.  Two minutes where he no longer rocked but he swayed, sashayed, and shimmied across that dance floor, guiding his princess in all of his glory. It was “their” shining moment…that daddy-daughter moment in time that you want to freeze-frame forever. He relived that moment over and over again, as will I through pictures and videos. Gregger finally got his groove on…he saved the best for last. He saved the best for his baby. It was his glory day. There will never be a shimmy like a Gregger shimmy! When we hear a little thunder now and then, it just might be Gregger getting his shimmy on! Or at least I’d like to think so! Shake it baby, shake it!

Happy 2nd Anniversary to my baby girl and her prince! May your fairtyale continue forever…

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Life Change

Change

choices and change2My life these past 8 1/2 months has been all about change. As we live our life we go through so many changes. We grow, we marry, we have children, and then we are alone again. We are constantly changing, constantly growing, learning, evolving. Staying stagnant does not seem to be an option. It seems boring and useless. So we keep moving. We keep changing. But death is the ultimate change. It changes the lives of so many people. It’s not just about the one who died, but those left behind. I am no longer a wife. I am now a widow. I no longer focus my energy on making someone else happy. He is no longer here. My days and nights change, my relationships change.

embrace-by-linda-wood (1)I have two choices. I can fight the change or embrace it. I choose to embrace it. There are times the change makes me angry, sad and frustrated. I’m angry Gregger’s not here. I’m frustrated I have to deal with these people and tedious tasks I don’t understand. I want to walk away. But I can’t. But then I know I am taking control. I am doing something. And that gives me a sense of power.

“Every moment that changes your life changes who you are.”

I resisted change. I was such a creature of habit, even a little OCD. It drove Gregger crazy. I loved routine. I woke up at the same time. I followed the same patterns. I was not good at spontaneity. I ate the same foods – EVERY DAY! I was boring. He was a routine guy too, but he could change things up a little better than me. He could NOT and would NOT break his morning pattern. Bike with sports page, read rest of paper with first cup of coffee, shower with second cup of coffee, dress and breakfast (yes, simultaneously), and gone! But throw a curve ball for some fun social action and he was far more game than me. I needed notice, mental prep time. Call me strange, but it’s one of my quirks.

every day 2Six years ago I wrote on my timeline, “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in everyday.” I believe that is part of my change. It is about finding the good. Losing my best friend has given me a greater awareness for the beauty, the love, and the life that surrounds me. I made a HUGE change several days ago. I moved from my home to a new city. It may not be a permanent move right now, but it’s for a long enough period of time that I have to figure things out. Not everything went as perfectly as planned. But it’s okay. I’ve got a new place and I am looking on each day as a new adventure. What will Lucy and I discover today? We will venture out into unknown territory. Maybe we will find our new Starbucks, talk to a stranger, or simply hang out in the beautiful weather together. It’s okay. I will embrace the change one day at a time for whatever it brings me. These are a few of my welcomed, yet unexpected changes:

1. No cable, TV, or internet as scheduled for 2 days…completely disconnected makes me focus on me. I thought I would freak without noise, but instead I savored the silence. I survived.

2. Small space. Kind of cool. Everything fit. Less mess, less cleaning. Can’t complain.

3. Unknown territory. Thank goodness for navigation system. It works. It got me where I needed to go. Again, I survived.

4. No yard for Lucy. We walk. Great for for her, better for me. Win-win!

5. Living on the second floor. Climbing stairs. Lugging groceries. Lots of bags. Great exercise!

6. Cool weather. No complaints! Sweatshirt on and I’m ready to roll. Love it!

new lifeWhile it felt like life was ending, this is a beginning. My first beginning in 40 years. This is truly the first time I have EVER been on my own. Talk about change! Talk about learning! Talk about growing! I will embrace this and see where the journey takes me. I will forever be grateful to Gregger for giving me the strength to stand on my own two feet. I am no longer the little girl he married 39 years ago. Thank you Gregger for guiding me with your love and wisdom to become strong and independent. It was your greatest gift to me today. I love you now and forever.

 

And So The Adventure Begins

And So The Adventure Begins…


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I’ve moved three significant times in my life. Three moves, three disparate emotions; freaky scary, ebulliently joyful, melancholy and skeptical, yet crazy and venturous. The first time was terrifying, lonely, and challenging in immeasurable ways. I was merely eight years old. I was moving from my childhoom home to a brand new city, starting out in a new school in the middle of the school year. I was leaving my friends behind. I didn’t know a soul. I walked into my new classroom the first day and had to take a test, not knowing the material. I was a straight “A” student and failed. I was devastated. I thought the world had come to an end. I did not think I would survive. Eventually I did. I made friends. I never failed another test. And in a short while I loved my new home.

I left several times for college, but they were never permanent moves. Not until I met the Gregger. After a whirlwind romance at Arizona State University and a wedding in St. Louis, we packed our bags for the Cornhusker State. Gregger was off to work with his dad at their family business (Marcus Department Store) in Council Bluffs, Iowa while I finished up my special ed degree at University of Nebraska-Omaha. Moving as a new bride was wondrous and overwhelming all in one breath. I was setting up “our” new home in a new city. I had “his” family but no friends. Gregger’s roots were in C.B. so he felt quite at home there. We were kind of “playing house” until we realized we were never going to be able to make this our “home.” After a spring vacation to Tempe, and a wild ride trip with our college friends, we ached to be back in Arizona. We were young, carefree, and figured this was the time of our life to go. But Gregger had to break the news to his parents, most of all his dad. This was not his nature to let anyone down. Lucky for us, his parents supported our decision and off we went. No home, no jobs, no place for the movers to even deliver our furniture. But it was exhilarating! I knew it was the adventure of our lifetime.  arizona

Obviously moving to Arizona was the BEST move we ever made! Our life truly began here. This is where we built our family, our home, our dreams. We moved here 38 years ago and never looked back. We would have stayed here to celebrate our promised 75th anniversary, but…

IMG_2118So now a new adventure begins. I am packing my bags and heading to San Diego. I am packing A LOT of bags! Gregger must be roaring in laughter. Two bins shipped by FedEx, two overpacked suitcases, a large carry on, a purse, a dog, and a backpack! All of that for 2 1/2 months!   But this time I am going it alone, just Lucy and me. This feels as scary as when I was eight years old. Maybe all that “stuff” is my security blanket. I don’t have to walk into a new classroom. I don’t have to take any tests. But I am walking away from “our” life. I am walking away from the place “we” lived for 38 years. But Gregger will forever be in my heart. He will be with me wherever I go. It’s the beginning of a new journey. As I venture into unknown territory, each day will be about discovery. Discovering places, people, but most of all myself. This is the move I never wanted to make. But Gregger would want me to go. He would want me to keep “moving.” He would never want me to stop and just be. This is about life and living. I miss you Gregger. I wish you were coming with me. But I will see you in the sand, the water, the stars and the sky. And so the adventure begins…

 

Channeling my Gregger

anger 2A few weeks ago I was challenged by one of those life situations that just gets me in the gut. I was writhing in anger; not my prettiest moment. I don’t like feeling angry. It’s ugly, gets the best of me, and seems way too powerful. Rewind 8 months, a year. Gregger was my vent release. I’d shout, curse, blow off steam and he’d listen, sometimes patiently, sometimes not, but, bottom line, I knew he was there. Where do I go with this anger? I get angrier with myself just for being angry. It is truly a hideous emotion that sucks the energy out of me. I am a positive person. I don’t have time for such pointless emotions. Good riddance to this monstrous soul that is sucking the life out of me. So today I look to my Gregger for the angel who will bring me peace. I hear him whispering his beautiful Greggisms in my ear and offering me solace when I need it most.beinggratefulquotesBe grateful for the blessings in my life. (So many blessings, so much gratitude)

Say “I love you” a lot and mean it. (I do, I do)  

Everyone deserves a second chance…learn to forgive and love again. (I hear ya!)

Be kind. It gets you everywhere. (This is a biggie and has really paid off in your absence!)

Don’t compare your life with others. Envy is a waste of time. (You pounded this into my brain…got it Gregger!)

Focus on the positive – make peace with your past so it won’t spoil your present. (I’m trying…really I am.)

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Smile and laugh more. (Again…I’m trying…really I am but I miss your laughter!)

Agree to disagree; you don’t always have to win. (Okay, I relent!)

No one is in charge of your happiness except you. (I take charge TODAY. Let me see what I can do about this!)

Each day do something good to or for others. (Even if it’s smiling at a stranger or letting someone cross the street, I think of you.)

Cherish every moment; you never know when it will be your last. (You taught me the importance of this…I cherish, I love, and I believe.)

cherish the moment

Gregger you are with me every day giving me strength. So the Greggisms will continue to get going when the going gets tough. My rock, my salvation, my angel.   

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The Secret

imageI hate secrets. I have hated secrets since I was a little girl. I think secrets can get you into trouble, unless they are the really, really good kind of secrets. Or the secrets (more like confidences) shared amongst friends – those are just different. Secrets are something you have to keep inside. You can’t talk about them, you can’t tell anyone, and sometimes they just harbor icky feelings.

Surprises are much different than secrets. Surprises are generally joyful, exciting, and are shared with family and friends. Sometimes a secret can turn into the very best surprise and that’s the only time secrets are OKAY in my book! So when Gregger kept a BIG secret from me for nine months (that eventually turned into a wonderful surprise), I decided it was okay to forgive him.

I had absolutely NO idea he was harboring this secret. If there were an inkling, I would have nagged him to death. That’s probably why he kept me in the dark for so long. So when he came home after work on Saturday, April 28th and suggested we have a drink before dinner, I really didn’t think much of it. This was typical on Saturday nights, kind of our time to unwind and recap, slow down a bit. He was overly exuberant after a stressful day, but I figured he was just happy to be done with a difficult week. He was taking his sweet time going through the mail, getting undressed, and suggested we sit outside for a while since it was such a nice evening. (Clue #1)

We toasted to the weekend, another week gone by, and happy times ahead. We finally meandered inside for dinner around 8:30 and all through the meal he jabbered on about going back outside for another drink! We just didn’t do that! (Clue #2) I was exhausted, but that just wasn’t going to fly. So back we went to enjoy the Arizona air. Unfortunately luck was NOT on Gregger’s side. As Gregger was relaxing, I went to find one of our dogs only to discovered a SNAKE on the side of the house. My scream could have been heard in downtown Phoenix! The snake creeped it’s way out of the yard and we headed back to where we started. One sip in and I came completely unglued. A godawful BAT was flapping around the outer lights! UGH! That was it! I was done! Gregger was so bummed, but I begged him to head to the bedroom for safety and a little TV. This was a switch! (Clue #3)   image

I was so ready to hit the hay but he was going strong. Although he was trying to be discreet I could see his cell phone tucked away in his pocket. I did find that very odd, but decided not to question. (Clue #4) Our home phone was broken so I thought he was just being overly cautious. I remember watching an old “Everybody Loves Raymond,” the news, and the opening of “Saturday Night Live.” We were both distracted. I was trying to figure out what the Gregger was up to and he was just plain WEIRD! He randomly mentioned Ashley and Tyler’s trip to San Francisco to celebrate Tyler’s 26th birthday. He hoped they were having fun, yada, yada, yada. Yeah – me too!  At this point I just wanted some shutup and shut-eye! Suddenly we were jarred by the ring of  the house phone (which we frustratingly couldn’t answer) and “Tyler Ludwig’s” name on the TV screen. I freaked!

#1 Why would they be calling us from San Francisco?

#2 Why would they be calling us this late at night (yes, we would normally be SOUND asleep!)?

In total panick mode due to the home phone outage, I was screaming at Gregger, “Call them back, call them back. Right now!” As he began dialing, his phone buzzed, and, as anticipated, it was Ashley and Tyler. My heart was beating out of my chest. Gregger was calm as a cucumber. What was wrong with him??? He was chit-chatting away as I nudged and poked. What’s wrong, what’s wrong? He started to hand me the phone, but I snatched it out of his grasp. “Hey guys, is everything ok?” Ashley kind of giggled, “We were walking around and saw something that reminded us of you so I’m texting you the picture right now. Look at the phone and let me know what you think.” I waited in an anticipation (thinking it was someting to do with “I Love Lucy”) until I heard the “ping,” When I looked down my heart skipped a hundred beats.  I screamed, I cried, I jumped for joy! The day I’d been waiting for for seven years had finally happened!

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Ashley and Tyler were ENGAGED! Tyler had finally popped the question! I know that sounds crazy, but I just knew these two were meant to be together. Tyler had been a part of our family from day one and now it was going to be official. This was one happy moment! You would have thought he put the ring on MY finger!  image

So Gregger kept a secret all right. He kept that darn secret for nine months! He knew every little detail from the ring, the proposal, and where the ring was hidden. He was so worried I was going to be mad at him. Are you kidding me? This was the BEST secret that turned into an even BETTER surprise! So even though he broke our cardinal rule of keeping secrets, forgiveness was indisputable. It’s hard to believe it’s the three year “engagaversary” (as Ashley dubbed it). I remember that night like it was yesterday. Cheers to the happy couple. Cheers to my Gregger. And cheers to happy secrets that turn into even better surprises!

 

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The Handyman

The Handyman

Fhandymanor forty years Gregger tried his best to be the fix-it man. He carried his handy tool kit around the house as if he knew what the hell he was doing, when, in reality, he didn’t have a clue. I just stood idly by, cheering him on, all the while whispering, “Call THE GUY!” Whether it was a clogged toilet, paint job, tile repair, or something more complex, he thought he could do it all. He would schlepp back and forth to Home Depot, venturing up and down the aisles, jabbering with the employees, sure to achieve the perfect result. In the end, sometimes he won, and other times…well, he called THE GUY! Now I’ve been left with the handy tool kit in hand. Gregger’s got to be chuckling at my inept attempts as I struggle with “his” chores. We often bantered over the fact that I couldn’t sweep worth a damn. He didn’t get my inadequate sweeping abilities, but what did I know? I was raised with an electric broom! Now I’m sweeping up a storm and I choose to believe he’s gloriously proud! Normally I would just call THE GUY, but now I’m googling, youtubing my way to handy dandy. Who would have thought?  I’m the girl who calls THE GUY!

 “When life throws curve balls at you, do not try to dodge them. They are meant to hit you, to mould you and to shape you to become the person you are meant to be. Enjoy the impact, smile and move on.”

So I strap on the belt, pick up the tools and conquer the task at hand!   curveballs 2

  • I’ve become a pro at snaking toilets…no plungers for me!
  • Unclogged a fully plugged bathtub…no plumber needed!
  • After multiple tries, screaming fits, and a phone call to my brother, changed the air conditioning filter
  • Touched up all my cabinets to sparkling new
  • Scooped up dead animals (not exactly fix-it but WAY out of my territory!!!)
  • Changed light bulbs (much more difficult than it sounds!)

And then, I called THE GUY…to paint, to fix the garage, to cut the trees, to do the tough stuff. But, I tried and I gave it my best shot.

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The skies were sunny today but there was a rolling, thunderous noise as I entered Home Depot, undoubtedly Gregger laughing his head off at that glorious sight! All I needed were light bulbs but do you have any idea how many different kinds of bulbs there are? Holy cow! I’d like to call THE GUY to help me out, but there’s only ONE guy I have in my mind and he’s no longer available, so I will keep on trucking and make him proud. I’ve learned that just when you think you CAN’T, there’s always a way to find you CAN! My horoscope summed it best of all:  “the fastest way to learn something new about yourself is by exploring something that is unknown to you. This could be something universally intimidating, like skydiving, but it could also be something that is harmless to many but still a big question mark to you. It can be difficult to accept the fact that you could try something and not succeed at it right away. Check your ego at the door and dive into learning something new about your capabilities.”

WOW! I’m diving headfirst and this time I think I’ll land on my feet.  lady handyman

Here Come The Suns

imageThe sun is setting early this year for the Phoenix Suns. The final home game of the season – no playoffs and a long, hot summer.  The Gregger would have been disappointed, as am I, but faithful fans we’ll always be. Our loyalty began way back in the early ’80’s at Veteran’s Colliseum when we could hang our legs over the empty seats, relax and enjoy the likes of Dennis Johnson, Alvan Adams, and Walter Davis. Gregger had a close affiliation with the team, dressing the announcers, and  later the coaches, so our boys had the opportunity to grow up sitting on the bench next to such players as Curt Rambis and Steve Kerr. Our Suns loyalty never wavered. We loved them win or lose. There were so many memorable moments…

  •  1976…Calling each other after the tough game 6 loss to the Celtics (I was in St. Louis visiting my parents and he was back in Council Bluffs)
  • Christmas day games when we dressed in our Suns garb as a family, dorky as ever but the greatest fans
  • 1992-1996…The Barkley years when we barely missed a game, so excited to cheer the team onto victory
  • 1993…The NBA Finals. Trailing 98-96 with 3.9 seconds left, John Paxson buried a heartbreaking 3-pointer to give the Bulls a one-point lead – game over! This capped off a jam-packed Father’s Day, full of glory and grace. We raced from Ryan winning his tennis tournament to the Suns and left at 55 seconds to watch Ashley dance in her recital. So we missed the shot. We thought we had won.  In our book, they were still winners.
  • 2008…attending the inauguration of former Phoenix Suns, Kevin Johnson when he was elected as Mayor of Sacramento (Gregger had a longstanding relationship with Kevin and this was truly such an honor for both of us)image
  • 2011…an incredible “cross it off the bucket list” road trip with the Suns to Houston and New Orleans for three glorious days.  suns road tripWOW! Jet setting, schmoozing, sitting courtside, wining and dining…it was purely the ultimate dream come true. Unforgettable, priceless, and perfect!
  • Years and years of cheers and tears, amazing partnership, and comraderie.

We tapered off going to the games these last few years. Gregger was busy, I had back problems, and it just seemed easier to watch the games together at home. But our loyalty never wavered. It always humored me when Gregger started yelling at the refs…”Traveling! Traveling! Are you kidding me?” He would say the same thing over and over again as if it would change the call. We would high-five each other, knuckle bump, and do all kinds of crazy things when the game got close, but it was a diversion from the stress of the day and brought us joy. It was  essential to check out the coach, the announcers, and The Clotherie “goods” on TV – make sure everything was showing up as it should. 99% of the time he was pretty proud. I loved seeing that in his face. I knew the hours, the heart, and the passion that brought everything to fruition, so it gave me a sense of pride too.

imageGregger’s long standing relationship with this incredible organization came full circle on September 24th, 2014. We received a call from the “top” telling us that US Airways was the only venue that could house all of the people who would attend Gregger’s memorial. Not only were we stunned to assume such an outpouring of love, but we were astounded by this generous honor.  So the sun set on my Gregger in the home of his Suns with more than 1000 fans tearfully bidding him adieu. It was an amazing tribute to an extraordinary man. He was honored with his own jersey – #13, his lucky number. I know he was watching that day. I know he could feel the love, the embrace of his biggest fans.

I went to one game this year. I saw Gregger everywhere. I saw his face, I felt his fist bump, I heard his cheers. I love the Suns and always will, but it just will never be the same without my cheer buddy by my side. Thanks Suns for 30 great years…here’s to a better season next year from one of your forever fans!

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The Suite Case - A True Love Fairytale

The Suitcase

a place for everything

You can tell a lot about a man by the way he packs his clothes. Percentage weighs heavily on the side of women packing for their men, whether it be that men don’t want to be bothered or they just don’t know how. In my case, the Gregger was clearly the BETTER PACKER! In fact, he was OCD meticulous! Packing for a trip in this house could literally lead to World War III. Our big issue…I was “check-in” and he was “carry on!”  To the Gregger, packing was an architechural or engineering project using every dimension of the smallest proportion to get as much as possible into the smallest space. On the other hand, I was totally inept when it came to packing. No matter how hard I tried to limit myself, I would overpack “just in case.” So we bantered back and forth. His point: I overpacked, would never wear it all, and it was a waste of space. My point: I would be best prepared for all occasions, all moods, which, in the end, would make him abundantly happier! His point: he was efficient, precise, and a time-saver (no waiting for bags, no chance of lost baggage, etc.). My point: when traveling, who cares? Chill out!

Needless to say, the bantering continued just about every time either or both of us traveled. I think it became some sort of game. He would certainly not dare give in to more than one suitcase, lest he show any sign of packing weakness. And, I certainly would never learn to pack less than half my closet!

 

suitcases 2

Now for most people packing is a day before, night before happening. Not in our house. This was literally a 2-3 day affair. I kid you not! Day one: the rolling rack appeared in the bedroom so Gregger could start “pulling” his clothes. This was a painstaking, detail-oriented affair focused on fusing the necessary pieces into the perfect ensembles. Minimilization was key…the fewer the pieces to mix and match the bigger the win! Rules of the game: one or two sport coats for a four or five day trip, a shirt for every day, maybe one or two extra “just in case,” and generally two or three pants that were rotated. Everything mixed and matched to perfection. Then came shoes to coordinate (he was only allotted a certain number), socks and underwear for everyday (obviously for Mr. Meticulous!), pocket squares for the super savvy, and then the royal dobb kit! Now that was a packing procedure in itself. Every item had its own plastic bag, wrapped again in more plastic and then placed sequentially as if solving a puzzle. It was quite the process.

Our last trip together was no different. The rolling rack appeared in the bedroom by Wednesday. Shorts, t-shirts, Lulu outfits, and underwear were laid out by Thursday. The good shirts were carefully hung and were folded and wrapped (yes, wrapped in plastic!) on Friday. I was so excited for the trip I didn’t care how he went about packing. At this point it was fun watching him make it all work. In the meantime I had emptied more than half my closet into two full suitcases and was very ready to go! When all was said and done, we jammed 9 suitcases and 5 backpacks into the van upon arrival in Maui! We were prepared for just about anything…well, just about anything.

In 40 years I NEVER once packed for the Gregger. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I just knew I could never do it the way he did. I don’t think anyone could! It was truly an art. Packing and unpacking was his thing. He knew where things went and how to put them away. I certainly never wanted my first packing experience to be the one it turned out to be, but I had no choice. September 3rd I was faced with the most difficult packing chore of my life. Not only did I have to pack Gregger’s suitcase, but I had to return home without him. This was something I had to do alone. I spent some time folding, sorting, and trying to carefully place each item the way he would want me to, but eventually I just didn’t care anymore. I threw away the plastic bags we had saved for years. I tossed shoes in on top of clothes and ignored the rule of wrapping. The tears were flowing too heavily. I just needed to get that bag packed somehow. Each shirt reminded me of something. The only thing I took special care with was his straw hat. I wrapped it, stuffed it, and protected it. I knew how much that hat meant to him, and it would forever remind me of our last trip together. He would hate the way I packed that suitcase.

I was cleaning my closet the other day and thought, “Okay it’s time, but, as always I stopped in my tracks.” The vivid, lime green duffle still lies on the floor, unpacked. I move it from side to side. I open it now and then thinking I might start to unpack, but then I put everything back in place. It just seems too final. I will unpack it one of these days, but until then, I see it everyday and it’s just a little piece of the Gregger that is still there. It reminds me of his meticulous nature, his savvy style, and our quirky bantering over silly things. I’m just not ready to let it go. I will be soon enough. 2013-09-21 06.08.27