Tag: fairytale

gregger got his groove

Gregger Finally Got his Groove On

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

image

This is a tough week. Countless recollections of the ultimate joy in “our” life. Reflecting on best-ever moments filled with love, family, friends, celebration, and LIFE. Gregger was in his glory. But the best memory of all…

Gregger had two left feet…he was dashing, savvy, and charming as could be, but a dancer he was not!  God love the guy…he was great at just about everything but he didn’t have a dancing bone in his body! We would get out on the dance floor and shake our groove thing, but he kind of just rocked side to side, arms shaking to and fro. He’d just smile that twinkling smile, keep on rockin’ as I twisted, twirled, schimmied, and shaked my body away. I don’t think his feet moved from one spot. Needless to say, dancing was a challenge.

imageFast forward to April 2012…Ashley and Tyler announce their  engagement. The Gregger makes an even bigger announcement to me…he wants to take dance lessons so he can do a special dance with his daughter at her wedding. I’m thinking…this is a guy who can’t pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time. We might need more than a year to get the job done. But I keep my mouth shut..I cannot burst his dream. I start searching. We actually go to Arthur Murray…OMG! What a nightmare…what a joke! They want thousands of dollars, a signed contract, and social dancing. He barely has time to breathe much less time for social dancing – not going to happen. To the rescue…our Lisa (a new employee who happens to be a ballroom dancer…what are the chances?). While Ashley learns by face-time and remote, I am the stand-in…it’s quite a production but they get the job done. The Gregger practices religiously morning and night determined to make his daughter proud.

imageMay 18th, 2014…the wedding. Magical, romantic, beautiful, every girl’s dream…but, most of all her daddy’s dream too. His dream to walk his little girl down the aisle to HER prince charming…the man he would trust to take care of his “baby” for the rest of her life…to love, honor and cherish. And he walked gallantly, because he knew, because he trusted. And then it was time…time to twirl his “baby” on that lighted dance floor. Time for the spotlight…two minutes just daddy and daughter.  Two minutes where he no longer rocked but he swayed, sashayed, and shimmied across that dance floor, guiding his princess in all of his glory. It was “their” shining moment…that daddy-daughter moment in time that you want to freeze-frame forever. He relived that moment over and over again, as will I through pictures and videos. Gregger finally got his groove on…he saved the best for last. He saved the best for his baby. It was his glory day. There will never be a shimmy like a Gregger shimmy! When we hear a little thunder now and then, it just might be Gregger getting his shimmy on! Or at least I’d like to think so! Shake it baby, shake it!

Happy 2nd Anniversary to my baby girl and her prince! May your fairtyale continue forever…

image

Life Change

Change

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

choices and change2My life these past 8 1/2 months has been all about change. As we live our life we go through so many changes. We grow, we marry, we have children, and then we are alone again. We are constantly changing, constantly growing, learning, evolving. Staying stagnant does not seem to be an option. It seems boring and useless. So we keep moving. We keep changing. But death is the ultimate change. It changes the lives of so many people. It’s not just about the one who died, but those left behind. I am no longer a wife. I am now a widow. I no longer focus my energy on making someone else happy. He is no longer here. My days and nights change, my relationships change.

embrace-by-linda-wood (1)I have two choices. I can fight the change or embrace it. I choose to embrace it. There are times the change makes me angry, sad and frustrated. I’m angry Gregger’s not here. I’m frustrated I have to deal with these people and tedious tasks I don’t understand. I want to walk away. But I can’t. But then I know I am taking control. I am doing something. And that gives me a sense of power.

“Every moment that changes your life changes who you are.”

I resisted change. I was such a creature of habit, even a little OCD. It drove Gregger crazy. I loved routine. I woke up at the same time. I followed the same patterns. I was not good at spontaneity. I ate the same foods – EVERY DAY! I was boring. He was a routine guy too, but he could change things up a little better than me. He could NOT and would NOT break his morning pattern. Bike with sports page, read rest of paper with first cup of coffee, shower with second cup of coffee, dress and breakfast (yes, simultaneously), and gone! But throw a curve ball for some fun social action and he was far more game than me. I needed notice, mental prep time. Call me strange, but it’s one of my quirks.

every day 2Six years ago I wrote on my timeline, “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in everyday.” I believe that is part of my change. It is about finding the good. Losing my best friend has given me a greater awareness for the beauty, the love, and the life that surrounds me. I made a HUGE change several days ago. I moved from my home to a new city. It may not be a permanent move right now, but it’s for a long enough period of time that I have to figure things out. Not everything went as perfectly as planned. But it’s okay. I’ve got a new place and I am looking on each day as a new adventure. What will Lucy and I discover today? We will venture out into unknown territory. Maybe we will find our new Starbucks, talk to a stranger, or simply hang out in the beautiful weather together. It’s okay. I will embrace the change one day at a time for whatever it brings me. These are a few of my welcomed, yet unexpected changes:

1. No cable, TV, or internet as scheduled for 2 days…completely disconnected makes me focus on me. I thought I would freak without noise, but instead I savored the silence. I survived.

2. Small space. Kind of cool. Everything fit. Less mess, less cleaning. Can’t complain.

3. Unknown territory. Thank goodness for navigation system. It works. It got me where I needed to go. Again, I survived.

4. No yard for Lucy. We walk. Great for for her, better for me. Win-win!

5. Living on the second floor. Climbing stairs. Lugging groceries. Lots of bags. Great exercise!

6. Cool weather. No complaints! Sweatshirt on and I’m ready to roll. Love it!

new lifeWhile it felt like life was ending, this is a beginning. My first beginning in 40 years. This is truly the first time I have EVER been on my own. Talk about change! Talk about learning! Talk about growing! I will embrace this and see where the journey takes me. I will forever be grateful to Gregger for giving me the strength to stand on my own two feet. I am no longer the little girl he married 39 years ago. Thank you Gregger for guiding me with your love and wisdom to become strong and independent. It was your greatest gift to me today. I love you now and forever.

 

And So The Adventure Begins

And So The Adventure Begins…

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment


IMG_2121I’ve moved three significant times in my life. Three moves, three disparate emotions; freaky scary, ebulliently joyful, melancholy and skeptical, yet crazy and venturous. The first time was terrifying, lonely, and challenging in immeasurable ways. I was merely eight years old. I was moving from my childhoom home to a brand new city, starting out in a new school in the middle of the school year. I was leaving my friends behind. I didn’t know a soul. I walked into my new classroom the first day and had to take a test, not knowing the material. I was a straight “A” student and failed. I was devastated. I thought the world had come to an end. I did not think I would survive. Eventually I did. I made friends. I never failed another test. And in a short while I loved my new home.

I left several times for college, but they were never permanent moves. Not until I met the Gregger. After a whirlwind romance at Arizona State University and a wedding in St. Louis, we packed our bags for the Cornhusker State. Gregger was off to work with his dad at their family business (Marcus Department Store) in Council Bluffs, Iowa while I finished up my special ed degree at University of Nebraska-Omaha. Moving as a new bride was wondrous and overwhelming all in one breath. I was setting up “our” new home in a new city. I had “his” family but no friends. Gregger’s roots were in C.B. so he felt quite at home there. We were kind of “playing house” until we realized we were never going to be able to make this our “home.” After a spring vacation to Tempe, and a wild ride trip with our college friends, we ached to be back in Arizona. We were young, carefree, and figured this was the time of our life to go. But Gregger had to break the news to his parents, most of all his dad. This was not his nature to let anyone down. Lucky for us, his parents supported our decision and off we went. No home, no jobs, no place for the movers to even deliver our furniture. But it was exhilarating! I knew it was the adventure of our lifetime.  arizona

Obviously moving to Arizona was the BEST move we ever made! Our life truly began here. This is where we built our family, our home, our dreams. We moved here 38 years ago and never looked back. We would have stayed here to celebrate our promised 75th anniversary, but…

IMG_2118So now a new adventure begins. I am packing my bags and heading to San Diego. I am packing A LOT of bags! Gregger must be roaring in laughter. Two bins shipped by FedEx, two overpacked suitcases, a large carry on, a purse, a dog, and a backpack! All of that for 2 1/2 months!   But this time I am going it alone, just Lucy and me. This feels as scary as when I was eight years old. Maybe all that “stuff” is my security blanket. I don’t have to walk into a new classroom. I don’t have to take any tests. But I am walking away from “our” life. I am walking away from the place “we” lived for 38 years. But Gregger will forever be in my heart. He will be with me wherever I go. It’s the beginning of a new journey. As I venture into unknown territory, each day will be about discovery. Discovering places, people, but most of all myself. This is the move I never wanted to make. But Gregger would want me to go. He would want me to keep “moving.” He would never want me to stop and just be. This is about life and living. I miss you Gregger. I wish you were coming with me. But I will see you in the sand, the water, the stars and the sky. And so the adventure begins…

 

Mother's Day - A True Love Fairytale

Mother’s Day

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

pregnantWhen I was younger people used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer? I wanted to be a mom. So unconventional for my time. It was the time of burning bras, Equal Rights, Gloria Steinam. It was a time when women were moving from the kitchen to the boardroom, Billy Jean King was killing it on the court, and being a “mom” was not the coolest career in town. I didn’t care. I went to college. I taught special education, an incredibly rewarding job, but, I just wanted to be a MOM!

Getting there wasn’t so easy for me. I wasn’t one of those first timers who thought about getting pregnant and, BAM, it happened. Unfortunately I was slightly cursed with endometriosis and some other delightful pelvic disorders that cramped the pregnancy process. This was extremely disheartening for one who only strived to be a MOM. My life became a series of doctor’s visits, surgeries, and overall disappointment when this endometriosis thing decided to crush my plans of becoming a mom.

Gregger was my rock through the whole process. He schlepped to doctor’s visits, he sat by my bedside during interminable hospital stays, he hugged me when another month went by and no good news. It took a strain on both of us. The temperatures, the tricks, the prayers, whatever it took, but nothing worked. We went to an adoption agency. We put our name on the list and spoke with a social worker. At the same time, we talked about fertility drugs. We had to wait until I got my next period. We waited and waited and waited. Come on! I finally had a good plan. This might actually work. We went back to the doctor and asked if there was something he could do to bring on my period. He did some blood work to make sure everything else was okay. Great! What else could be wrong? Well…only the GREATEST THING EVER! I WAS PREGNANT! This was ludicrous! We had been to the adoption agency (we were on a list); we were waiting to do fertility treatments; and now I was REALLY pregnant!

“A mother’s heart is a patchwork of love.”

I think I was the happiest pregnant person walking the face of the earth. My belly popped (very little, but to me it was huge) within two weeks. Back then we wore those hideous polyester, stretchy pants with matching tunics, not the cute stuff of today. I didn’t care. I was loud and proud, belly, butt, and all.

“Mother’s hold their child’s hand for a moment and their heart for a lifetime.”

I was about 4 months pregnant for my first Mother’s Day. It wasn’t quite official yet, but official enough for me. That baby was in my belly and I was going to be a mom. We hadn’t started setting up the nursery (4 months seemed a bit premature) but Gregger surprised me with my dream mama’s gift…a cane rocking chair. Looking back it was really quite ugly, but I rocked all three of my kids in that chair. It moved with us five times and kept on rocking. I think a few of the canes broke here and there but we just cushioned the seat and a-rocking we did go. That chair saved me many a night when someone was crying, sick or hungry. I read countless fairytales, sang untold nursery rhymes, and rocked ’til my bottom was numb. But those were some of my most cherished moments. Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was rocking my #1 baby to sleep and now he has two babies of his own.  rocking chair

Mother’s Day will be different this year. My kids will make it special just because we will be together. Nothing fancy.  No brunches or dinners. Just time together. We’ve all learned the value of a moment. We will miss Gregger. But somehow he will be right there with us as he always was and always will be. Thanks to Gregger I was lucky enough to become a mom three times! And one blessed mom I am!

“Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends but only one mother in the whole world.”

Happy Mother’s Day to All!

mother1

 

Over The Rainbow

The Rainbow

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

believeI love to walk. I walk for miles convening with nature, lost in the moments, the memories, and the music. I find peace in the silence. I find solace in the solitude. Sometimes. Other times I feel lonely because Gregger is not there to walk beside me. I drown out the loneliness in the music. What should I listen to? R & B love songs of yesterday, Broadway shows we loved, or pop hits that put a bounce in my step? Whatever I choose the words will evoke endless emotions, some happy, some sad; tears flow nonetheless. There is something about the music. It just gets me in the gut. But one particular song opens the flood gates every time. Because I know Gregger is sending me a message, a hug from heaven, just when I need it most. I feel him, I see him, I know he is with  me.

The story goes back to the beaches of Maui, right after Gregger passed. Ashley, Tyler and I were discussing a difficult decision regarding the wedding of their dear friends, Erin and Michael. I insisted that they both move forward with their plans to be in the wedding (as Gregger would have wanted). Michael and Erin wanted them to choose a special song to be played in honor of Gregger, a beautiful gesture of love. We immediately chose “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” the  Israel Kamakawiwo’ole version.  As we walked down to the beach we heard music playing. There was no sound system, no boom box, nothing in sight. All we could hear were the sounds of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” We stopped dead in our tracks. We looked to the heavens. We cried. Where was this coming from? How did he know? This was only the first time.

rainbowTwo days later we were unsettingly leaving the island. While we anticipated problems at the airport, they were made aware of our situation in advance and treated us with kindness and respect. Ryan and Tyler went ahead to the gate, while Ashley and I hung back to grab our much-needed Starbucks. Originally we were not all going to be able to sit together on this long, treacherous ride home. By the time Ashley and I reached the gate the situation had been resolved. As we were standing in line, Ashley tapped me and pointed upward. She said, “Do you hear it?” He was there with us…again. It was playing. “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.” He was telling us goodbye.

We were only home a day before we had to make the difficult trip to The Clotherie. Standing outside we all broke down in tears. Walking into that store without the Gregger just didn’t seem fair or right. We didn’t think we could do it. We walked in together, made it to Gregger’s office and collapsed in his chair. The room felt empty and dark. The store was still, melancholy. The downcast faces and somber moods were not the boost we needed. Before leaving we stood behind the cash counter trying to visualize Gregger in his glory. And there he was. It was playing, again. “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” The same version. The one we had chosen. Our rainbow song. Our Gregger song. He was telling us he was okay. He was there with us. We smiled. We cried. And then we knew we were okay to leave. What a moment.

rainbow2Several months later I was in negotiations to sell The Clotherie. Needless to say this was a difficult and emotional decision. This was not just about selling a business, but selling part of The Gregger. It was selling our life. It was selling the life we had built together for over 35 years. It was letting go of everything Gregger believed in, his life’s passion. But it was what I had to do. I was not The Gregger. I was not The Clotherie. It was Christmas time so Adam and I met at a Starbucks to discuss the negotiations. Christmas music was streaming overhead – “Jingle Bells,” “White Christmas,” “Silent Night,” “Sleigh Ride.” The tiresome sounds after two months were numbing at this point. In the midst of our stressful conversation the melodies changed gears. This could not be happening. I looked at Adam and tears were streaming down my face. He peered back at me and asked if I was okay. “Yes. You may not understand, but your dad is telling me that what we are doing is okay. This is his song. It is Christmas. They are only playing Christmas music. But in the midst of all of this, suddenly his song is playing. It is his sign.” At that moment I think even Adam believed. “Somewhere over the rainbow,” Gregger was telling me we were doing the right thing. We were making the right decision. And then the Christmas music played on.

Some days I pray to hear my “rainbow” song. But it doesn’t work that way. I have to wait. It will come. I want to feel his presence. I want to know he is okay. And when it plays, I will know it is a hug from heaven where bluebirds fly, troubles melt, and dreams really do come true.

Believe-quote-inspiring-wallpaper

 

 

time is today

Time is Today

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

time2Time is such an interesting concept. When I was younger I believed time was an infinite cloud of dreams waiting to happen. Time was about growing, changing, making mistakes and righting them again. When I was 5, I wanted to be 10; when I was 10, I wanted to be 16; 16, I wanted to be 21, and so it went until about 30. Time never stood still, it never stopped. It didn’t care what I was doing, wanting or needing in my life. Time continued on and still does. Only now time moves so much faster. I think time started racing after my kids were born. I suddenly had this urge  to slow it down, stop the clock, sometimes just turn it back. Time makes sense of our moments. It organizes our life into past, present, and future, but moves so fast that sometimes we miss the most the important part…THE PRESENT. We are so busy looking back or ahead that we don’t see what is right in front of us NOW. Time doesn’t wait for anyone. Time doesn’t let you go back. Time doesn’t give you a “redo.” Time is today.

When the kids were younger time was efficiency. Time was the clock. Time to wake up. Time to go to school. Time for tennis or dance. Time to eat dinner. Time for bed. For Gregger, time was his constant. He lived by the clock. 4:30 am exercise. 5: 30 am newspaper. 6:00 am shower, 6:30 am bagel or oatmeal,  7:00 am out the door and headed to work. Time controlled. Time was flashing, moving at breakneck speed. Time didn’t stop for breaks, but we should have. No turning back. Time doesn’t give you a “redo.” Time is today.

“What is time? Is it the autumn leaves that change? Or the snow that floats from the sky? 
What is Time? Is it the air we breathe? Or the wings that teach the new born bird to fly?”

It used to be family time, our time, me time. It was never Gregger time. Maybe in the hush of the morning hours, but that was about it. He believed “you can’t recycle wasted time.” So very little was wasted. It was all used up. I was selfish. I took my me time. Now I wish I had a little less of that and more of the “our.” I wish I had taken more of those trips to Italy and New York when he begged me to go. But I had “been there done that” and he was busy working. I figured I had all the time in the world to go again with him. I guess not. Time doesn’t give you a “redo.” Time is today.  time

Time has become much more relevant to me in the past eight months. If I could rewind to August 30th, I would stop the clock on the beaches of Maui, rewind and take us back to the condo. I would start that day over. I wouldn’t have argued with Gregger over some dumb bagels that got moldy in a drawer. I wouldn’t have gotten all pissy when we drove to Kaanapali and the beach was crappy. I would have held him a little longer, a little tighter in that last hug. I would have insisted he NEVER go into the waters at all. In the blink of an eye time becomes our past and future. Life changes and suddenly nothing will ever be the same again. Time doesn’t let you go back. Time doesn’t give you a “redo.” Time is today.

“What is time? Is it eternity in heaven or just a hope for peace on earth? Where’s the time gone in a blink of an eye but with every blink a birth.”

Time is now measured in multitudinal ways. The clock moves, days and months stream by. The sun rises and sets, seasons change, days turn into nights, another ball drops in Times Square.  I see my parents and children growing older. Past time is filled with beautiful memories, a movie playing in my mind. The memories flow like a flash of pictures from a fairytale.  I sit back treasuring the show. It reminds me of all the love, happiness, and joy that filled our lives. It edits the “yucky” and magnifies the good. It’s the perfect Oscar winning film. Future time is filled with new adventure, roads left untraveled. But I will cherish the present. The time that is NOW.  I will live for today. I will make new memories. For Time is today.

Quotes-about-time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Channeling my Gregger

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

anger 2A few weeks ago I was challenged by one of those life situations that just gets me in the gut. I was writhing in anger; not my prettiest moment. I don’t like feeling angry. It’s ugly, gets the best of me, and seems way too powerful. Rewind 8 months, a year. Gregger was my vent release. I’d shout, curse, blow off steam and he’d listen, sometimes patiently, sometimes not, but, bottom line, I knew he was there. Where do I go with this anger? I get angrier with myself just for being angry. It is truly a hideous emotion that sucks the energy out of me. I am a positive person. I don’t have time for such pointless emotions. Good riddance to this monstrous soul that is sucking the life out of me. So today I look to my Gregger for the angel who will bring me peace. I hear him whispering his beautiful Greggisms in my ear and offering me solace when I need it most.beinggratefulquotesBe grateful for the blessings in my life. (So many blessings, so much gratitude)

Say “I love you” a lot and mean it. (I do, I do)  

Everyone deserves a second chance…learn to forgive and love again. (I hear ya!)

Be kind. It gets you everywhere. (This is a biggie and has really paid off in your absence!)

Don’t compare your life with others. Envy is a waste of time. (You pounded this into my brain…got it Gregger!)

Focus on the positive – make peace with your past so it won’t spoil your present. (I’m trying…really I am.)

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Smile and laugh more. (Again…I’m trying…really I am but I miss your laughter!)

Agree to disagree; you don’t always have to win. (Okay, I relent!)

No one is in charge of your happiness except you. (I take charge TODAY. Let me see what I can do about this!)

Each day do something good to or for others. (Even if it’s smiling at a stranger or letting someone cross the street, I think of you.)

Cherish every moment; you never know when it will be your last. (You taught me the importance of this…I cherish, I love, and I believe.)

cherish the moment

Gregger you are with me every day giving me strength. So the Greggisms will continue to get going when the going gets tough. My rock, my salvation, my angel.   

DSC_0559

 

 

The Secret

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

imageI hate secrets. I have hated secrets since I was a little girl. I think secrets can get you into trouble, unless they are the really, really good kind of secrets. Or the secrets (more like confidences) shared amongst friends – those are just different. Secrets are something you have to keep inside. You can’t talk about them, you can’t tell anyone, and sometimes they just harbor icky feelings.

Surprises are much different than secrets. Surprises are generally joyful, exciting, and are shared with family and friends. Sometimes a secret can turn into the very best surprise and that’s the only time secrets are OKAY in my book! So when Gregger kept a BIG secret from me for nine months (that eventually turned into a wonderful surprise), I decided it was okay to forgive him.

I had absolutely NO idea he was harboring this secret. If there were an inkling, I would have nagged him to death. That’s probably why he kept me in the dark for so long. So when he came home after work on Saturday, April 28th and suggested we have a drink before dinner, I really didn’t think much of it. This was typical on Saturday nights, kind of our time to unwind and recap, slow down a bit. He was overly exuberant after a stressful day, but I figured he was just happy to be done with a difficult week. He was taking his sweet time going through the mail, getting undressed, and suggested we sit outside for a while since it was such a nice evening. (Clue #1)

We toasted to the weekend, another week gone by, and happy times ahead. We finally meandered inside for dinner around 8:30 and all through the meal he jabbered on about going back outside for another drink! We just didn’t do that! (Clue #2) I was exhausted, but that just wasn’t going to fly. So back we went to enjoy the Arizona air. Unfortunately luck was NOT on Gregger’s side. As Gregger was relaxing, I went to find one of our dogs only to discovered a SNAKE on the side of the house. My scream could have been heard in downtown Phoenix! The snake creeped it’s way out of the yard and we headed back to where we started. One sip in and I came completely unglued. A godawful BAT was flapping around the outer lights! UGH! That was it! I was done! Gregger was so bummed, but I begged him to head to the bedroom for safety and a little TV. This was a switch! (Clue #3)   image

I was so ready to hit the hay but he was going strong. Although he was trying to be discreet I could see his cell phone tucked away in his pocket. I did find that very odd, but decided not to question. (Clue #4) Our home phone was broken so I thought he was just being overly cautious. I remember watching an old “Everybody Loves Raymond,” the news, and the opening of “Saturday Night Live.” We were both distracted. I was trying to figure out what the Gregger was up to and he was just plain WEIRD! He randomly mentioned Ashley and Tyler’s trip to San Francisco to celebrate Tyler’s 26th birthday. He hoped they were having fun, yada, yada, yada. Yeah – me too!  At this point I just wanted some shutup and shut-eye! Suddenly we were jarred by the ring of  the house phone (which we frustratingly couldn’t answer) and “Tyler Ludwig’s” name on the TV screen. I freaked!

#1 Why would they be calling us from San Francisco?

#2 Why would they be calling us this late at night (yes, we would normally be SOUND asleep!)?

In total panick mode due to the home phone outage, I was screaming at Gregger, “Call them back, call them back. Right now!” As he began dialing, his phone buzzed, and, as anticipated, it was Ashley and Tyler. My heart was beating out of my chest. Gregger was calm as a cucumber. What was wrong with him??? He was chit-chatting away as I nudged and poked. What’s wrong, what’s wrong? He started to hand me the phone, but I snatched it out of his grasp. “Hey guys, is everything ok?” Ashley kind of giggled, “We were walking around and saw something that reminded us of you so I’m texting you the picture right now. Look at the phone and let me know what you think.” I waited in an anticipation (thinking it was someting to do with “I Love Lucy”) until I heard the “ping,” When I looked down my heart skipped a hundred beats.  I screamed, I cried, I jumped for joy! The day I’d been waiting for for seven years had finally happened!

image

Ashley and Tyler were ENGAGED! Tyler had finally popped the question! I know that sounds crazy, but I just knew these two were meant to be together. Tyler had been a part of our family from day one and now it was going to be official. This was one happy moment! You would have thought he put the ring on MY finger!  image

So Gregger kept a secret all right. He kept that darn secret for nine months! He knew every little detail from the ring, the proposal, and where the ring was hidden. He was so worried I was going to be mad at him. Are you kidding me? This was the BEST secret that turned into an even BETTER surprise! So even though he broke our cardinal rule of keeping secrets, forgiveness was indisputable. It’s hard to believe it’s the three year “engagaversary” (as Ashley dubbed it). I remember that night like it was yesterday. Cheers to the happy couple. Cheers to my Gregger. And cheers to happy secrets that turn into even better surprises!

 

image

 

Family Celebrations of Love

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

familyBig affairs were always some of the happiest times in our lives, and with my family they were (and are) neverending! Birthdays, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, and now weddings! We believe in celebrating the HAPPY TIMES! My mom’s motto – don’t wait for the “unhappy”- life is too short not to CELEBRATE. So celebrate we did. But this weekend was different for me. I was missing my “half.” I had to face the music alone, dance to my own beat. The anticipation and anxiety was excruciating – stomach rumbles, sleepless nights, and incessant jitters. They slowly subsided in the presence of my incredible family who provided so much love and support.

sibsEvery family has it’s schtick, it’s drama. The Bronska family is no exception. You get this clan together (27 and counting) and the crazies come out, but through it all, the love endures. Crazies or not, I would not have made it through without them – my kids (AMAZING!), my parents, my crazy sibs, in-laws, and a slew of nieces and nephews.

“The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.”

Well my family is truly mine. They sensed when the tears were rising to the surface, when I needed a solid hand or the touch on my shoulder. No words needed. They were just there.

“Family means putting your arms around each other and being there.”

These crazies gathered from all over the country to witness the marriage between my beautiful niece, Ali and her dashing partner, Patrick. Elegant, charming, and “Ali-touched,” the wedding was magnificent! But I wanted Gregger to witness the joyous occasion. I wanted him to see his Ali girl walk down the aisle transformed from little girl to exquisitely angelic bride. It rained a little during the ceremony. I believe they were teardrops from heaven, Gregger’s way of saying,”I wish I was there.”

But he was there thanks to Ali. She made sure he had his “own” place, memorialized with pictures, quotes, and candles. This act exceeded the boundaries of love, compassion, and kindness. Ali brought her Uncle Greg back to us. Gregger was in the room.  2015-04-25 20.40.40

I saw him, heard him all night long. The songs made me cry. Whether it was Ashley and Tyler’s wedding dance, “our” song, or a distant memory, I had some rough moments, but someone was always there to grab my arm, hug me tight or hold my hand. Lucky me! And then, I got on the dance floor and got my groove on. I smiled. I laughed. But most of all, I loved my family. I would not have survived without THEM! I am so blessed. We are so blessed. Crazies, drama, and all the schtick! Love is all that matters! And I love them all!

 family 2

Hero

Did You Ever Know That You’re My Hero?

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

imageWhat is a hero? Through the eyes of a child, it may be the Supermans, Spidermans, and Batmans who save the planet, the superhero with super powers. To others it might be a friendly stranger, a brother, sister, mom or dad.  A hero makes this world a better place. Their statement may be big or small, but their impact is unspeakable. Gregger was my hero. Would he be described as heroic by typical standards? Maybe not. But to me, he was a hero. He was courageous, good-hearted, generous, a survivor, and he ALWAYS put everyone else’s wellbeing above his own. He “saved” me in so many ways. He helped me discover the true me. He encouraged me to believe in myself. He gave me the strength to deal with the tragedy of his loss. He was kind, giving, loving, and compassionate. He didn’t meet a person who didn’t become his friend. I believe that captures the essence of a hero.

On August 30th, my hero could no longer save himself in the waters of Maui. He fought his final struggle and drew his last breath, but I believe he had two heroes with him that day. He passed the buck. The day started out as one of our best. We left Wailea heading to the beaches in Kaanapali for a day of swimming, snorkeling and sunbathing. After a long 45 minute drive into no man’s land we arrived at a nearly deserted beach. Ashley and I were annoyed because we just wanted to plant our lazy butts in the sand and catch some Maui rays. All we could see was an outhouse, an okay beach, and clouds. Get us to Black Rock! So we piled back into our family mini van and back to Lahaina we trekked. The mood was a bit edgy as we all just wanted to get where we were going! Family VACATION FUNTIME! Park, unload, lug, and land! Ashley and I planted ourselves in the sand and the boys headed off to check out the snorkeling situation. Gregger was geared up for the water. For some reason I was a “jiggly” inside. I just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted him to wear a vest, but they weren’t renting them that day. Typical Gregger…”I’ll be fine! What are you worried about?”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAEverything captured on film, we took our typical beach photos…Ash & Gregger, Ash & Tyler, Ash & Ryan, Gregger & me, and all the other combos. Two of each, just in case. One hugging, one kissing. Final words…”I love you. I love you too.” And off he went – into the water chasing after Ryan and Tyler with snorkeling gear dangling by his side. The beaches were crowded. People jumping off Black Rock, shouting, hooping and hawing. Ashley and I were fairly relaxed, but I was edgy not knowing where the boys had gone. Suddenly we heard screams of “Help! Help!” They were far off in the distance and we assumed it was the crazies jumping off the cragged rock. The cries kept getting closer and soon we were hearing “911.” My heart was racing. I remember yelling at Ashley that something was wrong and running from my chair. As I dashed to the edge I caught sight of Gregger’s bathing suit floating toward us, and I knew. At that moment, I knew. I screamed. I fell to the sand and I remember someone grabbing my arms. Suddenly crowds of strangers were holding me, hugging Ashley and me.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAGregger made it to the shore that day because of two special heroes..my son, Ryan, and my son-in-law, Tyler. Their courage and strength in the most difficult of situations could only be described as heroic. At one moment Gregger was smiling underwater and giving a thumbs up. Seconds later Ryan realized something was terribly wrong and reached out for him. He screamed for Tyler and between the two of them, they safely pulled Gregger in. They took off his mask, flipped him on his back, and pushed, pulled, shoved, and screamed until  help arrived. Gregger would have called them his heroes. The quick reaction to save him in such an incredibly difficult situation could only be described as heroic. The paramedics, fire fighters, and doctors worked on Gregger relentlessly. Tyler prayed in the sand at his feet, while Ryan prayed by his side. It felt like the world was praying, but God had decided he wanted the Gregger that day. Whether his mom was calling (it was the 10th anniversary of her death) or they just needed another one of the “good” guys “upstairs,” we’ll never know. Whatever it was, someone else won the battle. But, my two boys were the heroes that day. They saved their hero and brought him to us so we could say “goodbye.”

There were a lot of heroes that day. The strangers on the beach holding us, praying for Gregger, keeping us safe. The paramedics, firefighters, and doctors fighting tirelessly to bring back his heartbeat. The chaplain who stayed by our sides for HOURS providing comfort, kind words, and support. We would not have survived without these people. But, my SUPERHEROES on August 30th were Ryan and Tyler. I will forever be grateful to them for their courageous efforts and strength for bringing my HERO back to me, to us.

“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you’re scared to death.”

Who is your hero?   image