Lucky 13

Dear Gregger –

miss youThis is my first letter to you in Year Two. But it is significant. 13 months. Your lucky number. You. A “triskaidekaphilopheliac.” One who loves “13.” Most people cringe at the thought of 13. Not you. You picked the unlikeliest of numbers and made it the BEST. So you. I believe it is OUR lucky number. This is going to be OUR month. The month of lucky. Good things to come. We’ve hit a few bumps. That’s to be expected. You’re not here. Life is different. We’re still adjusting. Every day.

Here’s my reality.

  1. I wake up every morning and face the challenges before me. I smile. I laugh. And I keep moving on. What other choice do I have?
  2. I’ve paid all bills regularly. On time. You taught me well. Thank you. 
  3. I’ve actually kept a balanced checkbook. Are you surprised? I am. I knew that would make you smile. Again, you taught me well. 
  4. I’ve handled B.S. I don’t have your patience. I wish I did. I’m trying.
  5. I still hate Sundays. They are so lonely without you. I miss our walks. I miss sitting at Starbucks. I miss talking to you. Bottom line. I MISS YOU.
  6. Nighttime. Quiet. Dark. Lonely. I want to see your smiling face. Hear you chuckle. Hear you snore. You’re not here.
  7. Songs on the radio. They remind me of you. Love. And what we had. Together. I want to hold your hand. Have you hold mine.
  8. Another new season of TV shows started. Some you would hate. Others we would watch together. I miss that. I want you here to tell me how much you hate reality shows. I would love to hear you complain. I’d still watch them. With or without you. But now it’s just without you. And it sucks.
  9. I’m learning to be me. I think you would be happy. And even a little proud.
  10. I’ve had to go with the flow. Learn to adapt. I had to give up my “planning ways.” They don’t work. You’d be impressed. We learned that the hard way. Right?
  11. Losing you hasn’t gotten any easier. I don’t think it ever will. It just gets different.
  12. Life goes on with or without me. With or without you. So I might as well keep going with it. It goes too fast. And I don’t want to miss the rest of the ride. I just wish we were still riding together.

miss you 2

So 13 months. Our lucky time. Good things to come. I hope you are happy. At peace. I’m getting there. But I miss you. I always will. Keep smiling down on us. We see your shining light and feel the love. Thank you. I love you Gregger.

Mikki Eveloff

I am certainly no princess, but I did marry my Prince Charming. We had the once upon a time and the “almost” happily ever after until August 30th, 2014 when my Prince Gregger died tragically on the beach in Maui. I believe in fairytales. I believe in fate. I believe that “everything happens for a reason.” We planned a lifetime together…75 years to be exact. Someone or something changed our plans and gave us a new “ever after.” So here I am. I am still a wife, but now they call me a widow. I am a mom and grandma…three children, two in-laws, and two grandchildren. Life has changed and it’s time to move forward. It doesn’t stop, it keeps on going, so I do too. It’s my choice. Be happy, be grateful. It’s the only choice. I have a treasure trove of memories to’s how I keep the happily ever after alive. A True Love Fairytale is 40 years of memories…it’s the essence of our happily ever after. It’s the imperfections of our perfect marriage. And it’s what makes today beautiful.

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