Chapter 2…It’s a Strange, Strange World!

Needless to say, after “Scam Man” I was leery. I was safer on the couch. With Angel. Maybe that’s where I belonged. Forever. But I was bored. So I started surfing. Again. What had I missed? Views. Messages. Matches. Not much. Nothing of interest. Some decent. But thousands of miles away. What was the point? Maybe one. Not bad. Potential. Lived close. Older. Meet for wine? Why not? In one minute. I knew. Ugh. Waste of time. Could I wine and dash? Yep! Used Angel as my excuse. Poor pup. Been home alone all day. Needed to walk her. Or so I said.  I was BORED to tears. Scanned the bar for cuter guys. Nothing. Bored with his stories. His questions. His conversation. His looks. Basically. Everything. Read more [...]

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Chapter 2..Wham Bam, Don’t Scam the Ma’am!

What are friends for? They are there to lift you up when you’re down. To hold your hand through the good times and bad. And to sign you up for online dating when they think it’s time! I didn’t have the guts to do it alone. I filled out the forms. Three, four, six. Who knows? But I never followed through. So when my sweet friend said she wanted to talk to me one Sunday, I never suspected it was about my dating! She said it was time to move on. And she was there to give me that nudge. Push. A giant shove. And that’s what it took. So I was official. Now what? Wait until someone contacted me? Or scan through the hoards of prospects, hoping that one might actually be a “real match?” Read more [...]

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Chapter 2…Giant Leap

I’ve talked about moving on. Changing. Learning. And growing. But I took a giant leap of faith in January. I decided it was time. Time to step out. Put myself “out there.” I was tired of spending lonely nights at home. Snuggled with Angel. She’s great. Don’t get me wrong. But conversations are a drag. One-sided. So. I put it out to the universe. I was going to start DATING. Dating? What the hell did I know about dating! I hadn't dated in over 45 years! And even then, I wasn't a dater! I had boyfriends. When one broke up with me, soon after, I had another. Long term. Don't get me wrong. I didn't have a string of boyfriends. Two, maybe three, in high school. And then. The Gregger. Two Read more [...]

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Chapter 2…On Finding Me

Along this grief journey I discovered the most amazing thing. Me. For so much of my life, I've lived in a bubble. Safe. Protected. Secure. I've been defined by others. Wife. Mother. Daughter. Sister. I was busy taking care. Nurturing. And pleasing. And then. The bubble BURST. There I was. No protection. No one holding my hand. Just me. I HAD to make choices. I HAD to take notice. I HAD to see life as what it was. I had a choice. Bury myself. Or take it on. A gift. My turn. To just be me. Whatever I wanted that to be. Anyone. Recreate. Start over. My second chance. My chapter two. For so long I was trying to be something else. Please others. I realized that I’d somehow gotten lost in the Read more [...]

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Chapter 2…Friends

Gregger’s death impacted every aspect of my life. Me. Of course. One minute. A wife. The next. A widow. (Ugh. Who would have thought?) Single parent (Really?). My kids. Fatherless. My family. Parents. Siblings. Nieces. Nephews. All impacted. All changed. Empty space. Cracked. Broken. And friends. What about friends? Where were they? Some. Rushed to my side. Others. Cowered. Fear? Maybe. Death. Changes things. Grief. Changes things. Friendships. Relationships. Contacts. Some who were forefront, faded. Disappeared. Others who had drifted were front and center. "When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving Read more [...]

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