The Love Birds

This is the tale of two love birds, a tale of love, loss, and sorrow. A tale of fate, choices, and destiny that reminds us whatever the plan, there is no plan. Captivated by an early sunrise and the quiet solitude of the morn, I was startled by a thunderous crash outside my window. Afraid to look out, I slowly peeked out to find one quail fluttering to the ground in desperation, while another hovered over, bobbing it’s head back and forth. I literally felt helpless, but a rush of emotions and memories came flooding back to me. I don’t want to sound heartless, but I am generally not a huge bird lover. They kind of scare me. This was so different. These birds were so connected. The poor bird who survived was so distraught, so alone, and so lost without his mate that I suddenly forgot I was watching two birds. He circled the dead bird over and over again and then stopped. He stood over him, head bent forward and just paused. Then he would start circling again.

I walked outside not knowing what to do. The quail sauntered into the bushes when he heard my steps and then slowly made his way back to his mate. I observed from afar and my eyes filled with tears as I watched him circling again and again as if his mate would revive somehow. He would wail these sing-song sounds as if beckoning friends or family to join him but none came. I was so incredibly touched by the dedication, love, and commitment. I realized that life is just as unpredictable for these poor birds. A morning that began with a carefree flight, wings spread in the clear, blue sky ended just as suddenly and unexpectedly with tragedy. They were clearly love birds, soul mates as this bird was still bobbing and circling on my patio seven hours later.

It reminded me of our day on the beach. We drove 45 minutes to Kaanapali with not a care in the world, seeking cloudless skies on the other side of the island.  We chose Black Beach because two days earlier had been so memorable…perfect waves, white sand, clear blue water. We hugged, we kissed, we said “I love you” and Gregger walked into those sparkling waters never to walk out again. Just like the quails who chose their path this morning, I think about the “what ifs.” What if we had chosen a different beach? What if Gregger had never gone snorkeling? What if the quails flew in a different direction? What if they flew just a bit higher and missed my clear window? But what ifs are pointless…the minister who spent the day with us August 30th made us promise to stop the “what ifs,” “if onlys” and “why didn’t we just.” Just like the quails who chose their path today, we chose ours. I used to believe that everything happens for a reason. I am still seeking whatever that reason must be. But like the love birds today, fate stepped in and life ended. No explanation, no time to prepare…just over in a flash. I sat and watched that poor quail all day long. I believe he finally gave up after about nine treacherous hours. I’m not sure where he went or why he decided to leave, but I continued to hear the wailing of those quails in my backyard all afternoon. I hope he found his peace just as I am slowly finding mine. When I believed he had gone, I chose to put his mate to rest so he could be at peace too.

At some time we all wish we could hit the stop button, pause, rewind, and have the opportunity to ask “what if?” But we can’t. I look to skies and ask, “Why Gregger? Why that day?” But there are no answers. There are only messages. Love unconditionally. Forgive. Be grateful for today. Cherish the simple moments. Live compassionately. Be kind. Live the way Gregger would have lived and find a little more peace each and every day. I think he would be happy with that and so am I.