Tag: family

A Utah Birthday Celebration

A Utah Birthday Celebration

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

birthdaysSo I survived Birthday 2015. Family. Friends. Support. Love. Lots and lots of love. From the break of dawn ’til the midnight hour. Texts, phone calls, FB messages, cards, photos, and more. Memories flashed. New memories made. It was a day to reflect. A day to rejoice. I focused on my blessings. Gregger kept flickering into the picture. I knew the moment I landed in Utah he was there. He would have embraced the beauty, just as I did. He would have loved the tranquility. A charming sense of peace.

I went to bed Tuesday night praying that Gregger would come to wish me a Happy Birthday. He didn’t. It was hard to sleep. I wanted my birthday to come and go. Maybe I could just sleep through it. No. We had too much to do. I had to smile. Be happy. Have fun. I could do it. I just kept telling myself it was just another day. People called. I spoke to a few, but more like an out of body experience. We were busy. Perusing Park City. Shopping. Meandering. Lunching. A little happy hour sunshine with the girls. Fun. Good to forget.

Harry 2 (1)Open cards. Hard for people to buy this year. They didn’t want to be too funny. Not too sentimental. Some made me cry. Some gave me a little chuckle. I got it. It was tough. Presents. My kids gave me really sentimental gifts. Touching. Close to my heart. Sweet. Kind. Full of love. Just like their dad. I’m not surprised.

Off to the concert. Red Butte Garden in Salt Lake. A botanical garden surrounded by a beautiful mountainous range. Magnificent. Storms swelling on the horizon. Praying they would bypass the Butte. The winds kicked up. Dark clouds formed. Harry Connick, Jr took the stage. The crowd erupted in applause. The skies opened. The sun broke through. Gorgeous. Captivating. Perfect. Birthday magic.

Harry 1And that concert was sensational. Standards. Standup. Jazz. Big Band. And love songs. Those were the ones that got me. Yep. I looked right into those heavens and cried. I wanted Gregger right there with me. Holding my hand. And then the rainbow appeared. I couldn’t see it. I strained. But Harry talked about it. He kept pointing to it. “Can you see it? Can you see it?” NO! I wanted to scream out! But I knew it was Gregger. I knew he was there with us. I knew it was my birthday sign. And just then I knew everything was going to be okay.

It was a fabulous night. I am blessed with a wonderful Utah family. Lucky to share my celebration with my in-law birthday twin. And so grateful we are able to be together. Thank you to everyone who touched my life yesterday. You touched my heart.

harry

happy birthday

Happy Birthday

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

60Heads up readers! I am doing my best to keep the positive spirit, head high, and super smile, but this is a TOUGH one! I have been trying to squash some incredible memories. I can’t stop the tears. Happy tears, sad tears, “I miss you so badly” tears. One of the GREATEST weeks of my life. My 60th birthday! A birthday I could barely believe I was celebrating. But leave it to Gregger. He made it over-the-top spectacular, never to be forgotten. As they say in the movies (well kind of), “Thank God we had 60!” One year ago. And in that short time, life changed. I want to go back. I want a redo. I want him here to celebrate.

Gregger had a whirlwind trip in New York to make it home in time for my birthday, so just having him there was enough for me. I thought we were going to spend a quiet day together. A walk. Starbucks. Pedis. Gregger had never had one. He hated people touching his feet. But he was going to do it for MY birthday. I was shocked. Little did I know we’d never make it there. He had far more up his sleeve.

IMG_0014It started on Saturday. I was running errands, catching up before he came home on Monday. My sister-in-law called and said they wanted to stop by with my present as they were going to be away on my actual birthday. No big. Of course. While I was trying to downplay this momentous milestone, everyone else was playing it up BIG! There was no escape! A few minutes later they showed up at my door singing “Happy Birthday.” But standing in the background was my sister, Suzy, from NEW YORK! Surprise #1! We had just texted several hours earlier and were planning to catch up later in the day. I had NO CLUE!

Several weeks prior I had been on the phone with Suzy chatting about the “Move Live On Tour” Show with Julianne and Derek Hough. It was going to be in Phoenix on my birthday. Ticket prices were sky high and with Gregger in NYC it was off my radar. But Surprise #2 was a doozy…my family, along with Gregger, scored front row seats (1 and 2)! Really? This was almost too much and it wasn’t even my birthday yet! Amazing show, fantastic night. The only thing missing was the Gregger beside me to share the energy, the love, the celebration. But he was on his way.

DSC_0528Monday was finally here and Gregger was on his way back from NYC. I was so anxious to see him. He had only been gone a week but it seemed like forever! I hated getting the party started without him. It was time for him to join in the fun. The only thing that would have made my birthday perfect was having Ashley, Tyler, and Bella in tow. Unfortunately (or fortunately for his family) they were celebrating with Jeff (Tyler’s dad) who shares my birthday. It’s only fair that we take turns, so I was more than okay with this plan. I figured next year might be mine. I had spoken to Ashley several times during the day. She was feeling pretty bad. I kept reassuring her she was doing the right thing. My last conversation ended as they were getting ready to have lunch with Jeff to start his celebration. Yeah, Jeff! So after Suzy and I filled our day trying to get my stupid phone replaced (lots of aggravation), I was ready for a happy hour celebration with friends. Fate must have stepped in. I had no cell service. So Suzy was on call. She played me good. She told me Gregger texted her from the air and said his plane was circling. It was going to be late. I thought it was coming in early. Why not believe her? I had no reason not to. Drink on. We finally headed for the airport. Then it was time to sit and wait. Cell phone lot. What the heck? I thought he was in. Guess not. We circled around and saw him heading to the car. YEAH! Time to get this party started! I practically jumped into his arms! I was overcome with joy. Suddenly he said he forgot a package inside. Needed to go back to get it. Greg? He doesn’t forget. Ever. I was baffled. But I waited. And as he walked back out, nothing in hand, a trail of three beautiful figures was behind him. Ashley, Tyler, and Bella. OMG! I screamed. I jumped. I clapped. I was overjoyed. Surprise #3! It couldn’t get better than this!

DSC_0421But it could. We walked into the house and the kitchen was blooming with a bouquet of 60 birthday balloons. Magnificent! How did he pull that one off? Magical. Extraordinary. Gregger. We capped off the night with cheers, laughter, and lots of love. LOTS OF LOVE. Before bed I was instructed: be ready by 9:30. Wear a bathing suit. No questions. Just be ready. Okay. No idea. But I’ll go with it. I was in my happiest place. With my happiest people. My family.

Birthday. Lots of wishes. Phone calls. Texts. Facebook messages. It felt good. I felt good. A dear friend and her daughter stopped by with flowers and gifts. Ryan stopped by. He had to work. He was saving his time off for Hawaii. I begged him to. That was way more important than my birthday. We would celebrate over the weekend together. He was okay with that. Or so I thought. He greeted everyone. Hugged me tight. Suddenly he said, “Oh mom. I think there are some flowers for you by the front door.” Without a thought, I meandered to the door and flung it open. No flowers. But the BEST surprise EVER. My parents. With birthday wish signs in hand. Surprise #4! I cried. I almost fell over. I really couldn’t believe this one. Flying in from St. Louis to celebrate with me. This was just over the top special. This day just couldn’t get any better. But it did.

DSC_0468Surprise #5: Ryan was off for the day. Spending it with all of us. Surprise #6: We loaded up the car and headed out. I had no clue where we were going until we arrived at Talking Stick Casino. Gregger had rented a cabana for the day. What a blast. Our own cabana boy. Food, drinks, TV, and a pool practically to ourselves. Gregger was not a pool or sun lover so this was for me. And boy did we have fun! Just lounging in the pool. Chilling our bodies from a hot AZ day. Nothing could be more perfect than hanging with the people I love. Capped it off with a little gambling. Nothing crazy. I hate throwing Gregger’s hard earned cash away. So home we headed. The celebration was still underway.

DSC_0565Showers. Dress. Present time. Pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Good thing. Memories captured for a lifetime. And then we were off again. While it was supposed to be a surprise, I was pretty sure I could guess this one. I was right. Ocean Club. Best food in AZ. Best atmosphere. Best night ever. Perfection. No words. Just love, laughter, family, and good old-fashioned FUN. SIXTY never felt better. This one was for the history books. Cloud nine. Reeling for weeks. Don’t ever let me come down.

One year later. No Gregger. No surprises. It will be hard. There’s no way around it. My toughest 1st yet. He just made it that special. He made me feel that special. Sometimes I wish he hadn’t. But I’m lucky. I have an incredible second family. A family to share my birthday with in a big way. So we are off to Utah. Off to celebrate Keena and Jeff. It’s their special year. We’ll celebrate them. I’ll hold onto the memories of last year. I’ll feel Gregger with me. I’ll wait for the sign. And I’ll cherish the love, laughter, and joy of a beautiful family. Grateful for life’s blessings once again.

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happy_anniversary

Happy Anniversary

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

DSC_0532Tomorrow is my parent’s 54th wedding anniversary. Their marriage was always such an inspiration for me. When Gregger and I were going through some of our toughest times, I would spend time with parents to remind me what I wanted my life to look like in 50 years. It worked. Life wasn’t always easy for them. Is it ever? But they made it work. Five kids. Ten year span. Not a lot of time to be “just two.” But they did. Early bed times. Date nights. And when the nest was empty, they were ready. I watched. I learned. I’d slip, but I knew I’d always come back. We’d always come back. We’d be the ones to make it. Just like my parents did. They laughed. Had fun. Enjoyed being together. And always love. Lots of love. The keys to everlasting.

anniversary 3Gregger and I always enjoyed being with my parents. Laughs. Good times. My dad taught Gregger how to drink Jameson. Got him hooked. I loved watching them together. I loved that the four of us could hang. It was almost a year ago that we were together for the last time. It was that visit that Gregger and I vowed to be together for 75 years. We talked about the longevity of marriages in our family. My grandparents were just shy of 75 years when my grandfather passed. Aunts and uncles well surpassed the 50 and 60 plus year mark, living 90 plus years. Remarkable. And none of those marriages was perfect 100% of the time. But they had foundation. Love. And respect.

We had 38 anniversaries. And for all 38 years, Gregger took the day off. We spent the entire day together. Some years we went away. Most we just stayed home. Doing a lot of nothing. Just being together. After 38 (and long before), I realized it wasn’t the diamonds, roses, or dinners that made it special. It was the two of us. It was being together. We rarely went out. We loved staying in. Sharing the night together. I’d cook. Gregger’d have a Jameson. I’d have a glass of wine. We’d toast. Talk. And just be. That was good enough for me. I just wish we had more time.

We talked about our big 4-0 coming up in 2016. I really wanted to renew our vows. We surprised my parents on their 50th with a renewal ceremony in Vegas. It was awesome! The whole family was there to witness this beautiful occasion. They wrote their own vows. So sweet. So cute. So endearing. I wanted that for us. Not Vegas. But somewhere. Romantic. Ocean breeze. Barefoot. Kids surrounding us to witness our forever love. That won’t happen. Life changes.

DSC_0710But I feel lucky. Lucky to have parents who truly love each other. Lucky to have parents who set an amazing example of how to survive the ups, downs, highs, lows, and bumps along the way. It is never perfect. Love is never perfect. People are never perfect. But if you can love the imperfections, the marriage can be perfect. I believe that’s what my parents have. I believe that’s what we had. Lucky. Blessed. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! I love you!

letting go

Letting Go

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

holding onI was reminded the other day of all the times in my life when I couldn’t let go. I was such a control freak. I thought if I controlled myself, my family, my life, situations, that things would turn out the way I planned. I thought control meant perfection. If I let go, all hell would break loose. If I let go, my life would be chaotic. If I let go, my world be disordered. I was never one of those cool moms who let their kids pick out their clothes. Or do their own hair. Clothes had to match. Hair had to be brushed. Styled. Neat. Shoes had to be clean. We had a toy room. They played. And then the toys were cleaned up. There was order. Beds were made. Dishes were always cleaned and put away. I did laundry. Every day. Clothes every day. Towels one day. Sheets another. Order.

letting go 3I wasn’t always that way. At least not as “ordered” and controlled. My room had clothes in total disarray. My closet was a MESS. My drawers were a disaster. I grew up with “neatness” so I think I rebelled for a while. And then the Gregger brought it back full circle. He was a “neatnik.” He loved order. He loved clean. So I learned to love it too. We lived by such routine. Up by the alarm. Morning workout. Breakfast with the kids (when they were school age). Drove them to school. Gregger headed to work and I headed home. Workout. Grocery. Clean. Pick up kids. Drove from school to activities and home again. Family dinner. Every night! Most important part of our routine. Thank goodness we NEVER gave this up. It was time to talk. Time to share. Time to fight. Time to laugh. Time to build memories. We waited for Gregger because this was OUR time. The MOST important FAMILY time. After dinner, the kids scattered for homework, social time, TV time, or bed. Gregger and I cleaned. We couldn’t leave a messy kitchen. It was a sign of disorder. Chaos. Lack of control. So we cleaned. And THEN we spent time with the kids. That was backward. They were doing homework, watching TV, getting ready for bed. What were we thinking? If we died tomorrow would anyone remember if we had a clean kitchen? If our kids had matching outfits or groomed hair? Would our kids remember a clean house or the time we spent with them? We needed to LET GO of what was NOT important and focus on what was.

I am not sure WHEN we had our “wake up” call. I’m not sure WHAT caused it or WHY. I just know something changed. I realized I could close doors and what I didn’t see didn’t matter. The equation was simple. More letting go = more peace, more happy household.  My big job was working on the Gregger. I was uptight, but he was wound tighter. I understood. He had a ton of responsibility. A business. A family. Sending his kids to private schools. Paying for activities. College in the future. Weighed on his soul. But slowly those coils unwound. They were little things. He left dishes in the sink. He came home at night, threw his briefcase on the counter and scattered papers across the kitchen counter. My nerves got edgy. I took deep breaths. I reeled it in. Not important. Let it go. Enjoy the moment. Talk. Be together. The mess didn’t matter.  

life is not perfectAs my kids grew, letting go became a daily lesson. I had to let go as my major role as mom. It was the hardest but most empowering choice I’ve made. Allow them to choose their paths. Allow them to choose their friends, their mates. Allow them to live their lives. As much as I wanted them to remain a HUGE part of ours, they had to go off on their journeys. This was hard. But letting go allowed them to grow. I wanted them to come home when they chose. I wanted them to be with us/me because it was their choice. Not an obligation. So I “let go” every day with the hope that my kids would always WANT to come home again. With the hope that home would always feel like a place of comfort and LOVE. I believe that letting go has given them that freedom. At least I hope so.  

I pushed for Gregger to “let go” when we were in Hawaii. He was struggling. He was being pulled in so many directions. Pressured to get work done. Wanting to be with his family. He knew where his heart was, but time constraints made his choice difficult. So we came second. Kind of. We were so “FIRST” that he worked that hard. If he had that choice to make again, I believe he would make a different one. He would say, “screw it.” This is my time. Family time. Precious time. Time we don’t get back. Ever. I deserve this. But he didn’t. I saw the stress in his eyes. I felt the struggle in his heart. If only he could have just “let go.” So our time was cut short. I felt cheated. Cheated for the years we wasted on inane things. Cheated for the years we will never have together. But I will let that go too. I cannot control what happened. I cannot change the past. I can be present, grateful, and appreciate the gifts that life has given me. And in that journey I will find peace.

As I finished writing this piece, I received my horoscope for the day. Life is just too strange: “Don’t stress yourself out trying to control things you can’t control. If you can’t control them (and you know what ‘them’ are), you can’t control them. So take a step back and then take a deep breath and then let go. You’ve done everything you can do (and you know it), so just enjoy the free time, if you can (and you can). Why do you always have to be doing something, anyhow? Some days it’s okay to just be.”

So for today, I will just BE.

plans 2

10 months

10 Months

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

10 Months

me and greggerTen months. Another month has passed. Another 30 days. Another 720 hours, 43,200 minutes, 2,592,000 seconds. But who’s counting? Well, I guess I still am. I count every hour, minute, second that you are gone. I still ache inside. I still feel empty. I still feel the loneliness of you not being beside me. It gets different. But it doesn’t get better. Today I was sharing the concept of death. The difference between knowing you are dying, sharing the time with loved ones, and dying suddenly. There is no good way. No right way. No easy way. They all suck! But I feel I was gipped out of saying so many things I would have wanted to say. So I’m going to pretend you can hear me now.

DSC_0749Being married to you was the greatest gift in my life. I know life was not always easy. Certainly I was not easy. As a matter of fact, I was one tough cookie. You had to put up with all my sh-t. And you did. All my illnesses, my moods, my injuries. You supported me, you were there for me. That last year was rough. Back surgery. Epidurals, week after week. More surgery. You were traveling. You raced home to be by my side. I will never forget talking to you on the phone (thinking you were in New York) and suddenly you were by my bedside. Priceless, unforgettable, so purely Gregger. Last year was just one small piece of that puzzle. There were so many other times you rushed from the store to be with me. Held my hand. Kissed my cheek. Rubbed my back. You were there.

You were such a giver. A giver of your love, your soul, your support. I just always wanted to give back as much. I hope you felt it. Knew it. You worked your ass off to give us a beautiful life when all we wanted was you. But you LOVED what you did. Your passion was your success. And I was so incredibly proud of your achievements. You had an art. The best of the best. I was ALWAYS so proud to stand by your side. Proud to be “the better half.”

You were and always will be my very best friend. We didn’t start out that way. We were lovers first. But we learned to be friends. And we became the VERY, VERY best. We talked. We shared. We laughed. We cried. We knew what the other was thinking. We could be silent and be okay. Best friend. I miss you.

Scan 13Dad. The best. You loved being a kid. You played right along with them. You were a softie, but you knew how to be firm. A role model in every way. Kindness. Compassion. Understanding. Selfless. Loving. Humble. Your kids are so proud to be your legacy. And you would be so proud of all of them. They are your shining stars.

Ten months. It still sucks. It still hurts. But I grow stronger every day. I think you would be proud. I try to be a better person. I try to be the best. I try to bring out the Gregger. It’s part of the gift you gave me. I love you. You will always be with me where ever I go. Because you are in my heart.

Memories are worth a thousand words

A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

me and greg (1)Some people collect expensive antiques or art; others collect stamps, coins, trading cards, or other miscellaneous items. I started collecting when my kids were born. I believe I was protesting my mom’s disregard for our “valuables.” She loved to clean out, get rid of the old. Her rule of thumb, “If you haven’t used it in a year, get rid of it!” Well, I hoarded quite a few collections in the growing years. The boys began with He-Man. At one time Castle Grayskull took over my family room invaded with the likes of Skeletor, Keldor, Prince Adam and their comrades. With two boys eighteen months apart, I couldn’t just buy one of everything. I had to buy in multiples. Then it was transformers, a variety of mini vehicles that “transformed” into robotic figures. The trends swooped in like a raging storm and as soon as the collection was filling itself, it was dead, kaput, washed up. So I was stockpiling a treasure trove of timeworn superheroes while the boys were moving on to bigger and better collections.

 transformers    “A camera is a SAVE button for the mind’s eye.”

Gregger got into the next game. Baseball cards. Now this was something he could wrap his head around. Of course it made sense to spend $$$ on signed cards that would be invaluable some day. Boxes and boxes of cards. Individual cards. Signed cards. Unsigned cards. Some framed for posterity, others stashed in notebooks or thrown haphazardly in boxes. This progressed into balls, jerseys, and other sports memorabilia from all arenas until we were overflowing. Collections of wishes fulfilled, some for the young, some for the old.  baseball cards

beaniesI was crazed with collection fever when Ashley was born. From stuffed animals to Madam Alexander dolls, Barbies, Care Bears, My Little Ponies, Ferbies (still in the box) and the ultimate Beanie Babies. If truth be told, I think the collections were more for me than Ashley! A long lost yearning. I would hunt down those Beanies like they were gold, paying top dollar for far too many. Gregger loved to raz, “You’re going to sell those to pay for her college education, right?” I don’t think they would have covered the cost of books for a semester.  Now thousands of beanies are neatly packed away in bins (yes, that is multiple!), plastic bags, and other storage units waiting to be passed down to the next generation. So much for priceless collections! Collections of wishes fulfilled, some for the young, some for the old.

“Life is like pictures. You can look back on the moments. But you can never recapture them.”

So while I was busy collecting useless toys, Gregger loved collecting boxes, wires and remotes. Lots of them. The guy couldn’t throw a box away. If it came in a box, he saved it. If it came with wires or remote, he stashed it for “just in case moments.” But when technology moves on, those “things” becomes extinct. Not in our house!  We have more empty boxes than junk! Boxes for computers, printers, phones, tvs and other electronics that are long gone. Half of the stores are out of business. We have wires with plugs that don’t go to ANYTHING and remotes that are ancient beyond recognition. So I gathered my courage, piled everything in a big garbage bag, said a silent prayer, and tossed it! Good riddance to good rubbish! This was one collection I could live without. Sorry Gregger!

pictures 4 (1)While my collective obsessions became a little more refined over the years, my collection of MEMORIES is the one I cherish most. While I attribute my brown hair, blue eyes, and shorter than desired height to my ancestors, I believe I inherited the “picture” gene from my mother. Never heard of it? It’s the uncontrollable urge to carry a camera everywhere. It’s never missing an occasion, a moment. It’s capturing EVERYTHING on film, disc, or video. It’s having those you’re photographing give you “the finger,” turn their backs, or walk away because they are so sick of your constant snapping. But it’s a collection of LIFETIME MOMENTS, MEMORIES that can never be relived again, except through photographs. Pictures not only capture experiences, but moods. They seize a sparkling smile or sullen scowl. They are pieces of a life puzzle, jigsawed together in captured moments. Photographs are everlasting. The edges may fray, curl and yellow, but the image is embedded for memories sake. Timeless. Priceless. Memories. Etched in our hearts. Etched in our minds.

“I was looking at the photographs and I started thinking that there was a time when these weren’t memories.”

I am so grateful for the gift of the “picture gene.” Especially today, especially in these moments. Photographs and memories are my lifeline to Gregger. Without them, memories could fade. With them, memories are ALIVE, colorful and bright. A picture is worth far more than a thousand words. It’s worth everything we shared together. Magic moments captured in time. Magic moments hung on walls, pasted in books, and embedded in clouds. These are the collections I will treasure forever. Priceless.

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ellen degeneres show

My Girl

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

IMG_1488“I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I’ve got the month of May. I guess you’d say, what could make me feel this way?” Ellen! Ellen! “Talkin’ ’bout my girl!”

Ellen who? Ellen DeGeneres of course! The epitome of  hope, joy, and optimism, Ellen enters millions of homes each day through the miracle of electronics. She dances her way into living rooms and hearts, including mine. I have been a fan for 12 years now, but this year has brought a whole new dimension. Even when I’m having the crappiest of days, I turn on Ellen, and I am overcome with joy. She makes me smile, laugh, cry. She makes me forget. For one hour. Jokes, music, celebrities, and the most inspiring human interest stories from all over the world touch my heart. Stories told by children, students, teachers, families, and so many others who promote the power of positivity when facing tremendous tragedy, loss, and adversity. It reminds me. It comforts me. My heart flutters when Ellen raises the light for these people who have lost hope. Once again, it makes me recognize my blessings.

ellen degeneres“Ellen” was part of my bucket list. Going to the Ellen show was BIG on my list. Thinking I would ever make it there was way at the bottom. But leave it to Gregger. He always knew how to make things happen! It was our 37th anniversary. He handed me a manila envelope. This was different from the small silver wrapped boxes I usually received.  Not that I expected it, but over the years he had developed a reputation as one of the BEST in the gift department. So what could possibly be inside a manila envelope? Paper? That’s the 1st anniversary.  This was our 37th! But I was thrilled to get THIS paper. Inside was a picture of “My Girl, Ellen” with the words: “Happy 37th Aniversary! Time to Get your Dance on!” Gregger was taking me to L.A. with V.I.P. tickets to the show! No, Way! This was beyond awesome! A dream come true! And Gregger was going with ME! The icing on the cake. Four tickets! Ashley and Tyler were meeting us to join the anniversary celebration! Wow!

IMG_1489We flew to L.A. on Sunday. Our wonderful chauffeurs, Ashley and Tyler, greeted us at the airport, and we were off and running. We spent an incredible day playing tourists. Brunch at Urth Cafe, afternoon in Malibu, happy hour at The Ivy, dinner at Ocean Club! Absolute perfection! Good times. Fun times. Family times. Monday morning we were pumped for “our girl.” Filling a few hours we started off at Nate and Al’s, walked Rodeo Drive and then headed out to Burbank. Even with V.I.P. tickets we wanted to get there early. It was a full on adventure. We had to take pics, shop for Ellen gear, and soak it all in.

IMG_1494It was a good long wait, but who cared? We were at the ELLEN SHOW! We were ready to get our dance on! Even Gregger was feeling it. A little pushing and shoving and we made our way to the front. Truly the front. Front row center! Up close and personal with “my girl.” She came dancing through the aisles, spotted Ashley and danced face to face with her! What a moment! Gregger was rockin’ it. We were rockin’ it. You just couldn’t help but laugh, smile, sing along, and DANCE! Selma Hayek, Kellan Lutz, Luke Bryan, and two high school boys with a heartwarming and inspiring story. But it was Ellen who continued to warm the room. Her genuine charm. Her sincerity. Her kindness. Her generosity. It swept over the room like a breath of fresh air. IMG_1487

I was blessed with Gregger in my life for almost 40 years. I am blessed now. Ellen reminds me that there is always someone suffering from something greater. If they can get through a day with smiles, so can I. She ends every show with the most beautiful message: “Be Kind To One Another.” What greater message to send to the world. Spread it. Share it. This was Gregger’s legacy. Kindness. Compassion. Goodness. If I can keep this going, it will be all the success I will ever need. I can be something better, do something better. It is hope. It is power. It is joy.

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memorial day

Holiday Weekends for the Heroes

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

Memorial dayMemorial Day Weekend. Lost in the shadows of barbecues, beer, and brotherhood, Memorial Day commemorates those who have given their lives for our country.  The heroes. Flags flutter in the wind, flowers grace cemeteries, store sales abound, sporting events blast the tube and government stops. It’s a time for family, friends, and community. For the fashion conscious (which runs in this family), Memorial Day marks the official acceptance of “white wear.” White clothing, white shoes. Yes, even Gregger pulled out the white jeans and bucks! We savor these three-day weekends. We plan, we party, we poop out.

For Gregger and I these holidays were simply a “day off.” For many years he closed the store. He was a rebel. He believed people deserved the day off. If it was a holiday, close the store. Everyone needed rest. He defied the rules. Then the shopping center gods stepped in. Lease rules. No overstepping the boundaries. So he did it his way. Holiday hours. He sucked it up and did what he had to do. Memorial Day was one of those holidays he passed off. I got lucky. I had him for two whole days. It was strange at times. I wasn’t used to his being home for two days straight. Most people would find that odd. But for 40 years Gregger worked six days a week. He never took extra days off. Two days in a row. That was really something! We savored those moments. But that was in the later years.

Scan 102 (1)This holiday weekend I was thinking back to days gone by. Memorial Days when Gregger and I were in our prime and the kids were blossoming and athetically active. Watching the French Open today brought back a bevvy of memories and emotions. I missed so many holidays with Gregger. I was busy traveling with the kids. Nothing extravagant or flashy. We were staying in roadside motels, driving from state to state.  The boys were competitive tennis players. It was a crazy life. Tennis never had a season. A year round activity. Year round schlepping to practice. Year round juggling homework, practice, tournaments, and social life. Year round stress.  And the big tournaments were always over holidays. From Labor Day to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, Easter to Memorial Day, they never ended. Our travel took us southwest, midwest, California. Gregger was stuck at home working his tail off to pay for all of the travel, coaches, equipment, and other paraphernalia. Each weekend Ashley lugged her backpack filled with coloring books and crayons.  Her faithful companion “Woof-Woof” tight in hand, Ashley sat silently on the sidelines. Meanwhile, I paced, gnawed my nails, clapped, and faked calmness as best I could (I completely failed!). If one or both of the boys made the finals, Gregger might hop a plane to surprise us. Or, if we were lucky enough for a Tucson destination, he would make it down for a match or two. It was a crazy life. But certainly a life none of us would change. Or maybe we would. The vote is out on that one.  ryan tennis

JFKI spent this weekend with new friends (stepped way out of my box – thanks Marcia and Geoff!), my son (who was sweet enough to drive over from AZ), and alone (learning to cope). I would much rather be chumming with my “buddy,” but he’s not here. I hope he’s enjoying his day off. He looked so forward to two days in a row. He lingered a little bit longer with his coffee. He scrolled slowly through his facebook page (but wouldn’t admit it!). He got a bit of “scruff” after not shaving for two days. He even settled back with a beer or two (maybe even a Jameson) to catch up on some TV. They were fun times. Good times. Memorable times. With the kids. When the kids were grown. So on this Memorial Day, I honor the heroes who died fighting for our country. But I honor my lost hero too. I miss you.

Family Celebrations of Love

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

familyBig affairs were always some of the happiest times in our lives, and with my family they were (and are) neverending! Birthdays, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, and now weddings! We believe in celebrating the HAPPY TIMES! My mom’s motto – don’t wait for the “unhappy”- life is too short not to CELEBRATE. So celebrate we did. But this weekend was different for me. I was missing my “half.” I had to face the music alone, dance to my own beat. The anticipation and anxiety was excruciating – stomach rumbles, sleepless nights, and incessant jitters. They slowly subsided in the presence of my incredible family who provided so much love and support.

sibsEvery family has it’s schtick, it’s drama. The Bronska family is no exception. You get this clan together (27 and counting) and the crazies come out, but through it all, the love endures. Crazies or not, I would not have made it through without them – my kids (AMAZING!), my parents, my crazy sibs, in-laws, and a slew of nieces and nephews.

“The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.”

Well my family is truly mine. They sensed when the tears were rising to the surface, when I needed a solid hand or the touch on my shoulder. No words needed. They were just there.

“Family means putting your arms around each other and being there.”

These crazies gathered from all over the country to witness the marriage between my beautiful niece, Ali and her dashing partner, Patrick. Elegant, charming, and “Ali-touched,” the wedding was magnificent! But I wanted Gregger to witness the joyous occasion. I wanted him to see his Ali girl walk down the aisle transformed from little girl to exquisitely angelic bride. It rained a little during the ceremony. I believe they were teardrops from heaven, Gregger’s way of saying,”I wish I was there.”

But he was there thanks to Ali. She made sure he had his “own” place, memorialized with pictures, quotes, and candles. This act exceeded the boundaries of love, compassion, and kindness. Ali brought her Uncle Greg back to us. Gregger was in the room.  2015-04-25 20.40.40

I saw him, heard him all night long. The songs made me cry. Whether it was Ashley and Tyler’s wedding dance, “our” song, or a distant memory, I had some rough moments, but someone was always there to grab my arm, hug me tight or hold my hand. Lucky me! And then, I got on the dance floor and got my groove on. I smiled. I laughed. But most of all, I loved my family. I would not have survived without THEM! I am so blessed. We are so blessed. Crazies, drama, and all the schtick! Love is all that matters! And I love them all!

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Here Come The Suns

Mikki Eveloff Leave a comment

imageThe sun is setting early this year for the Phoenix Suns. The final home game of the season – no playoffs and a long, hot summer.  The Gregger would have been disappointed, as am I, but faithful fans we’ll always be. Our loyalty began way back in the early ’80’s at Veteran’s Colliseum when we could hang our legs over the empty seats, relax and enjoy the likes of Dennis Johnson, Alvan Adams, and Walter Davis. Gregger had a close affiliation with the team, dressing the announcers, and  later the coaches, so our boys had the opportunity to grow up sitting on the bench next to such players as Curt Rambis and Steve Kerr. Our Suns loyalty never wavered. We loved them win or lose. There were so many memorable moments…

  •  1976…Calling each other after the tough game 6 loss to the Celtics (I was in St. Louis visiting my parents and he was back in Council Bluffs)
  • Christmas day games when we dressed in our Suns garb as a family, dorky as ever but the greatest fans
  • 1992-1996…The Barkley years when we barely missed a game, so excited to cheer the team onto victory
  • 1993…The NBA Finals. Trailing 98-96 with 3.9 seconds left, John Paxson buried a heartbreaking 3-pointer to give the Bulls a one-point lead – game over! This capped off a jam-packed Father’s Day, full of glory and grace. We raced from Ryan winning his tennis tournament to the Suns and left at 55 seconds to watch Ashley dance in her recital. So we missed the shot. We thought we had won.  In our book, they were still winners.
  • 2008…attending the inauguration of former Phoenix Suns, Kevin Johnson when he was elected as Mayor of Sacramento (Gregger had a longstanding relationship with Kevin and this was truly such an honor for both of us)image
  • 2011…an incredible “cross it off the bucket list” road trip with the Suns to Houston and New Orleans for three glorious days.  suns road tripWOW! Jet setting, schmoozing, sitting courtside, wining and dining…it was purely the ultimate dream come true. Unforgettable, priceless, and perfect!
  • Years and years of cheers and tears, amazing partnership, and comraderie.

We tapered off going to the games these last few years. Gregger was busy, I had back problems, and it just seemed easier to watch the games together at home. But our loyalty never wavered. It always humored me when Gregger started yelling at the refs…”Traveling! Traveling! Are you kidding me?” He would say the same thing over and over again as if it would change the call. We would high-five each other, knuckle bump, and do all kinds of crazy things when the game got close, but it was a diversion from the stress of the day and brought us joy. It was  essential to check out the coach, the announcers, and The Clotherie “goods” on TV – make sure everything was showing up as it should. 99% of the time he was pretty proud. I loved seeing that in his face. I knew the hours, the heart, and the passion that brought everything to fruition, so it gave me a sense of pride too.

imageGregger’s long standing relationship with this incredible organization came full circle on September 24th, 2014. We received a call from the “top” telling us that US Airways was the only venue that could house all of the people who would attend Gregger’s memorial. Not only were we stunned to assume such an outpouring of love, but we were astounded by this generous honor.  So the sun set on my Gregger in the home of his Suns with more than 1000 fans tearfully bidding him adieu. It was an amazing tribute to an extraordinary man. He was honored with his own jersey – #13, his lucky number. I know he was watching that day. I know he could feel the love, the embrace of his biggest fans.

I went to one game this year. I saw Gregger everywhere. I saw his face, I felt his fist bump, I heard his cheers. I love the Suns and always will, but it just will never be the same without my cheer buddy by my side. Thanks Suns for 30 great years…here’s to a better season next year from one of your forever fans!

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