Pennies from Heaven for Lucy

To know her is to love her. But even those who don’t, love her too. Everyone loves Lucy. It’s hard not to. Precious face. Big brown eyes. Melt your heart. Little ears. Perk at the sound of her name. Peppy. Loving. Loyal. A big dog in a little dog’s body. This beloved pup is fighting with all of her might. And it’s breaking my heart. She’s battling the demons. But I’ve got to get her to fight harder. Get her to eat. I packed her favorites today. Little containers of chicken. Scrambled eggs. Cooked baby carrots. She turned her head. Looked at me with sad eyes. As if to say,”No mama. Not today.” I held the food in my hand. Under her nose. Just try a little. A taste. A smidgeon. Nothing. She turned away. Closed her eyes. Curled in my arms. And I let her be.

“Mama” and “mini angels” came today. She moved her eyes. But no sound. No tongue. Silence. Stillness. Sadness.

I had a sign today. I believe Gregger was telling me everything would be okay. Some of you will think I’m crazy. Off my rocker. But I’ll take whatever I can get right now. Whatever comfort comes my way. I need something to hold on to. Because I’m hanging by a thread. I was working out. My happy place. OrangeTheory Fitness. Surrounded by good people. Energy. High spirits. I had been in the same spot for nearly an hour. Really hadn’t moved much. Been following the workout as scripted for the day. As I went to do my umpteenth set of tricep extensions, I was distracted by something shiny between my feet. It had not been there before. I had been doing this for nearly an hour. In. The. Same. Spot. But there it was. As clear as day. Heads up. A shiny penny. I nearly burst into tears. I picked it up. Held it. And stuck it inside my shoe. This was the fourth time this had happened to me. All when I needed a sign of hope. There it was. A penny from heaven.

Crazy or not, I’ll hold onto hope. Belief. They say pennies are a sign from loved ones. A sign Gregger is watching over me. Loves me. Wants me to know he’s okay. And I’ll be okay too. He has only left me pennies. Signs of new beginnings. And, for today, THINK POSITIVE! Release my fear and focus on what I want to see in my life. What could be more fitting than that! What more could I need? Protection. Reassurance. Comfort. He was watching over Lucy. Watching over me. He would help me through this horrific ordeal. And all would be okay.

I started to believe this after my grandfather’s passing. I don’t remember the exact incident. Where or when. I just remember it happening. And I knew. He was there. But since Gregger’s passing, this is #4. Four significant times. Four times when I needed him most. And this is his way of coming through. Of being there for me. Wrapping his arms around me. Hugging me. And telling me, “Everything will be ok.” I will believe him. I will hold onto hope. And I will keep praying for my little Lucy.

“Don’t pass by that penny when you’re feeling blue. It may be a penny from heaven that an Angel’s tossed to you.”