One Step Forward

So my blogs have been all over the place lately. I’ve been up, down, over, under, and sideways. I’ve wanted to write and then I’m blocked. The words just don’t come. Or the ones that do, I don’t like. I don’t like what’s on the paper. I write. I delete. And I end up with a blank page. For weeks, maybe longer, it felt negative. Sad. I couldn’t put that out there. Not after I had spent more than a year writing about gratitude, positivity, strength. I felt like a liar. I wasn’t living my words. I knew that was okay. But it felt weak. I wrote about fear. All true. Part of the journey. But in the past week I’ve tried to refocus my energy. My thoughts. My intentions. Numerous, yet unrelated events have led me to this place. I believe the universe keeps putting “things” in my path. Reminders. People. Signs. Whatever these “things” are, they are bringing me back. Back to a better place. A place of peace. Within myself.  

This past week Facebook sent me a beautiful reminder of the blessings and joyous moments in my life. Three years, five years, seven years ago. Love. Family. Together. Celebrations. Travel. So blessed. Memories that evoke smiles. Heartwarming hugs from the inside out. Instead of missing what I don’t have, I’m focusing on what I did have. How lucky I was. These are the gifts that keep on giving. I can pull them from my memory bank. Spark a smile. A warm fuzzy feeling.

I am reminding myself why I started writing in the first place. Honor Gregger’s memory. Our life together. And to help me move on. So I’ve been stuck. It’s part of the journey. I will get stuck again. I’m sure of it. But I’m learning. Accepting. Not getting caught up. Not thinking “failure.” It’s okay. It’s life. And tomorrow’s another day. Another day to get it right. Or just do it another way. Whatever works. Just try.

I’ve met so many along this journey. Everyone has a story. Something. You never know the life a person has lived until you are in their shoes. Never judge. You never know their pain. Or their sadness. Smile at them. Talk to them. You never know how a kind word can brighten someone’s day. So many strangers have brightened mine. And I hope I’ve returned the favor without even knowing. But these stories opened my eyes. I’m not alone. So I can grieve. I can be sad. But I can also be happy. Move on. And focus on today. Because I can’t change the past. I can’t control the future. I can only be in the moment. And make the best of whatever that happens to be. So for today, I’ll make it a good one. I hope you do too. Happy Sunday!