I’m Okay

I’ve had quite a few people ask me if I’m okay since my last few posts. Yes. Life is like that these days. Some are good. Some are better. Some I muddle through. Some just suck. I’m probably more honest than I should be. I just don’t how to be any other way. I never have. My emotions are raw. But exposed. I ride the waves. Happy, sad, angry, frustrated, lonely, empty, melancholy. I have come a long way. I have a long way to go. I am strong. I will get stronger. This is all part of the process. It takes time. There is no timetable. I cannot hurry. I will ride the coaster. I will take the highs with the lows, the ups with the downs. I will experience everything and know it is okay. I am okay. So when I have a bad day, it is just that. A bad day. Or a bad moment. I appreciate all of the people who touch my life. Your touches embrace me. But do not worry. I am okay.

Everyone said, “Don’t make any major changes for a year.” I didn’t listen. I’m glad. I couldn’t be that stagnant. I couldn’t just sit. And wait. How boring. I needed to start moving. Explore. Discover. And that’s what I’ve been doing. Baby steps. They feel like giant leaps. One step forward, three steps back. Two steps forward, one step back. It’s all a process. And I’m living it. But I’m learning. And growing. And changing. It’s my only choice. I can accept the sadness, frustration, anger, emptiness, and lonely moments because I know it is bringing me to a better place. A new “better.” A place of peace, contentment.

I’d love to know what Gregger would do. How would he handle this? What if the situation were reversed? He’d bury himself in work. He’d have a place to go. Constantly surround himself with people. Maybe that’s a good thing. He wouldn’t have time to think. Be lonely. Be sad. I’m not sure. That’s my guess. I’m so different. I’m embracing the silence. The alone time. Learning about myself. Where I need to go. What I need to do. I don’t have a choice. I guess he wouldn’t either. So I’ll continue to take each day as it comes. The good, the bad, the better, the great. I’ll keep learning. Growing. I’ll be okay. But there will be sad moments. Frustrating moments. Angry moments. They will come. They will pass. And, again, I’ll be okay.