Grief Journey

truthI heard an interesting term the other day. “Grief work.” Apparently it is the response to grief. Makes sense. It’s a lot of work. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. Simply draining at times. But, I’d rather think in terms of “Grief Journey.” The act of traveling from one place to another. From heartache to harmony. Mourning to tranquility. Whether “work” or “journey” you still have the same bumps. Hurdles. Peaks and valleys. But a journey is a passage to a different place. Something new. A journey requires an open mind. An open heart. The most predictable part of grief. It’s unpredictable. It comes on like a raging storm. Or rolls in with slow brewing irritability. For days, weeks, the ride is steady. Serene. And then thunder strikes. Lightning is not far behind. Wham. So the journey begins. I realize now it’s a long road. So I might as well enjoy the ride. Learn. Live. And just be. But for others on this journey, find your path. Follow it. You may get lost. There may be detours. But hop back on. It’s the only way to make it through. Grief Journey. Year Two.

journey 1

  1. Reality sucks. But acceptance is strength. I know Gregger is gone. I accept the loss. But I can feel his presence. I recognize the signs. Openness of mind, heart, body and soul equal strength.
  2. I talk. I feel. I cry. I scream. Feel the pain. The anger. The sadness. It frees me to feel at peace.
  3. Be okay by myself. It doesn’t mean I miss Gregger any less. It doesn’t mean I love him any less. He is gone. I must be okay. I must move on. I must be okay. He would want that for me. I want that for myself. It is the only way to continue my “journey.”
  4. Have faith. Just because the worst happened doesn’t mean I can’t believe good won’t come to me. I have to believe.
  5. Build new relationships. I can’t stay stuck. It is part of the journey. This is the hardest part for me. I must find the strength. To open myself. My heart. My soul.
  6. This is just a small part of the journey. A work in progress. Daily lessons. One step forward. One day at a time. Patience. Understanding. Compassion. I can do it. I know I can. If you believe. Have faith. And hope. You can too.

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Mikki Eveloff

I am certainly no princess, but I did marry my Prince Charming. We had the once upon a time and the “almost” happily ever after until August 30th, 2014 when my Prince Gregger died tragically on the beach in Maui. I believe in fairytales. I believe in fate. I believe that “everything happens for a reason.” We planned a lifetime together…75 years to be exact. Someone or something changed our plans and gave us a new “ever after.” So here I am. I am still a wife, but now they call me a widow. I am a mom and grandma…three children, two in-laws, and two grandchildren. Life has changed and it’s time to move forward. It doesn’t stop, it keeps on going, so I do too. It’s my choice. Be happy, be grateful. It’s the only choice. I have a treasure trove of memories to share..it’s how I keep the happily ever after alive. A True Love Fairytale is 40 years of memories…it’s the essence of our happily ever after. It’s the imperfections of our perfect marriage. And it’s what makes today beautiful.

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