Dear Gregger,
Three years. 36 months, 1095 days, 26,280 hours, 1,576,800 minutes, 94,608,000 seconds. An eternity. A moment. Whatever. It’s Time. Your time. From earth to shining star. In heaven. Some say anniversary. Of death. Morbid. Others say Death-aversary. Morbid. I say Celebration. Of life. Today is not a day for mourning. Or tears. It’s a day to celebrate. You. And all that you gave. To me. Your kids. Family. Friends. And so many others. We traveled many roads together in our 40 years. This is one journey I’ve had to make on my own. It sucks. But with your love and guidance, I’m still standing.
If I could have just one more day you know what I would do? I’d hold your hand tighter. Hug you harder. Talk incessantly. Until your ears couldn’t handle anymore. I’d tell you how you filled my life with love, laughter, joy, and a little heartache. I’d tell you how lucky I was to have “our perfect.” I’d tell you about my “new life.” Not the same. But good. Different. Kind, generous, compassionate people. Like you. I’d tell you how people miss you. Your light. Your laughter. Your grace. I’d tell you about your kids. Amazing. Each one exhibiting virtues to honor you. You’d be so proud. And the newest addition. Baby Cruz Greyson. Your namesake. I see you. In him. His eyes. His smile. Baby Cruz. A light. A joy. A blessing. You must know. For you are his angel. 
Three years. It doesn’t get easier. Grief never ends. There’s no expiration date. It just gets different.
Year 1. Blur. Shock. Numbness. Tears. Endless chores. Fear. Panic. Tears. Survival.
Year 2. Reality. Loneliness. Sadness. Tears. Hell. Reality. Gone. Forever.
Year 3. Acceptance. Rebuilding. Redefining. This is my life. I will be ok. I may not like it. Certainly not my choice. But I’ll be ok. I’ll always love you. Always miss you. But. I know I can conquer life’s challenges with courage, strength and determination. One day at a time.
So. Today we celebrate you. Cheers. To a life well lived. You left a legacy behind. A legacy based on love, integrity, generosity, and kindness. We will carry on. My heart is yours. Forever. Peace and love.
Here we go. Year 4…
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