happy valentines day

Happy Valentine’s Day – Second Time Around

m & GValentine’s Day. A day of love. Hugs. Kisses. Cards. Sentiments. Roses. Chocolates. Happiness. And couples. A day to remind me what I’ve lost. What I’m missing. Love. Hugs. Kisses. Gregger. OR, a day to remember. What I had. What we had. Love. Respect. Commitment. We were lucky. I believe we would have made it to the very end. Our fairytale end. We survived the bumps and bruises. More than we could count. But every bump made us stronger. Wiser. And more in love. So it’s not what I’m missing. It’s what I remember. The good. The great. The best. We didn’t need a “Hallmark holiday” for love. We simply tried to live it.

valentine'sWhat kept us going? It wasn’t magic. It was life. Real stuff. But it took time. Patience. Understanding. And compassion.

  1. Communicate. Listen. Don’t just “hear” the words. No phones. No texts. Real talk. Look in each other’s eyes. Say the words. Feel. Understand. The way to the heart.
  2. Respect. Agree to disagree. But respect the disagreement. Arguing with respect is okay. Arguing with anger gets you nowhere.
  3. Embrace the imperfections. Nothing is perfect. Not your spouse. Or marriage. Someday those “imperfections” may be what you miss most. I do.
  4. Stay committed. Commitment is serious business. If it’s worth fighting for, fight. Giving up is easy.
  5. Make time. For each other. No distractions. Just the two of you. It’s so easy to put this on the back burner. Bottom of the totem pole. Move it to the top. It’s worth it.
  6. Put “we” before “me.” Give more, get more. You both come out ahead. Be selfless, not selfish. The payoff is priceless.
  7. Share, celebrate, enjoy the moments. Don’t pass up joyful opportunities. Celebrate everything. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Christmas. New Years. Valentine’s Day. Fourth of July. And everything in between. For 38 years we celebrated them all. No regrets. And memories galore. You never know when it could be the last. So celebrate. Enjoy. And cherish the moments.
  8. Share life. Whatever that means to you. But do it together. You don’t have to do everything, but find something. Share love. Share life. Share time. It’s precious.

m & G 2Last year I said that Gregger and I called this a “Hallmark holiday.” True. We didn’t need a special day to declare our love. Or remind us to love each other. With flowers. Candy. Cards. But, just like last year, I would give ANYTHING for Gregger to be my Valentine. An “I love you” in the morning. Another in the afternoon. And several more at night. But it won’t be. I will hold onto memories. Remember. And cherish what we had. I will look to the stars. Find one that shines a bit brighter. And blow a kiss directly to him. These holidays are tough. They don’t get any easier. Maybe someday. So I wish all of you love. Hold your loved ones a little tighter. Be kind. And cherish the moments. They are so very precious. Happy Valentine’s Day!

valentine's 3

Mikki Eveloff

I am certainly no princess, but I did marry my Prince Charming. We had the once upon a time and the “almost” happily ever after until August 30th, 2014 when my Prince Gregger died tragically on the beach in Maui. I believe in fairytales. I believe in fate. I believe that “everything happens for a reason.” We planned a lifetime together…75 years to be exact. Someone or something changed our plans and gave us a new “ever after.” So here I am. I am still a wife, but now they call me a widow. I am a mom and grandma…three children, two in-laws, and two grandchildren. Life has changed and it’s time to move forward. It doesn’t stop, it keeps on going, so I do too. It’s my choice. Be happy, be grateful. It’s the only choice. I have a treasure trove of memories to share..it’s how I keep the happily ever after alive. A True Love Fairytale is 40 years of memories…it’s the essence of our happily ever after. It’s the imperfections of our perfect marriage. And it’s what makes today beautiful.

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