What are friends for? They are there to lift you up when you’re down. To hold your hand through the good times and bad. And to sign you up for online dating when they think it’s time! I didn’t have the guts to do it alone. I filled out the forms. Three, four, six. Who knows? But I never followed through. So when my sweet friend said she wanted to talk to me one Sunday, I never suspected it was about my dating! She said it was time to move on. And she was there to give me that nudge. Push. A giant shove. And that’s what it took.
So I was official. Now what? Wait until someone contacted me? Or scan through the hoards of prospects, hoping that one might actually be a “real match?” I’d heard enough horror stories through the years to know this was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Within minutes my phone beeped. Someone viewed you. Someone liked you. Someone messaged you. Interesting. Intriguing to say the least. Good for the ego. Until. I checked. Ugh! While I wasn’t expecting George Clooney (well, that would be amazing!), I did want a little class, distinction, grooming. Not! Here’s what I got. Tatted, Harley dudes. Swipe. “One pic” guys hiding behind shades. Swipe. Selfies with half faces. A nose. Swipe. Big bellies in wife beaters. Swipe. Entertainment. To say the least. And then came LA widow. Single father. Decent looking. Seemed normal. Nice enough. Multiple pics. Messaged me. Simple responses. Basic. It was a start. I figured. Why not? Give it shot. What did I have to lose? He jumped in. Quickly. Texted. First thing in the morning. Sweet messages. Felt a little creepy. Whatever. More in the afternoon. Emails. A little too “gushy.” Sentiments I never expressed. But he believed. Red flag!
“Where would I be if I had not met you? I’ll tell you where; I would still be lonely looking for that special someone to make me smile again. We found each other at just the right time. The distance that is between us is only going to make us stronger and there is less of a chance that we will take each other for granted. The weeks that we are apart, I look forward to the day that we are together. Everything that I have been through has only prepared me for this period. You are awesome and not to be taken lightly. The feelings that we share is beautiful. If I had met you earlier in my life maybe I wouldn’t appreciate you as much. I thank God every day I wake up that I decided to register on the site.I like you, and the way you make me feel, everyday.”
He was in Canada (or so he said) on business. Working a job. Sent me pics of himself and his son. Could have been anyone. He called one night. His voice was so beyond strange. My gut was reeling. He’d told me something about a complicated upbringing. Was he forewarning me? Not sure. Said his mother was Jamaican. Father from Texas. He grew up in Jamaica and came to the US twenty years ago. But the accent was weird. It didn’t fit. I could be off base. But intuition kept whispering, “something’s not right.” I went along. Took the calls. Messages. Cautiously. Until the second week. His tone changed. Sad. Down. And I knew. I told my sister. This is going to be about money. And I was spot on. I asked. Something wrong? “Apparently” his email had been hacked. Bank account had been hacked. And funny enough he needed money to finish the job in Canada to get back to his job in LA. Really? Did he think I was such a fool? Could I lend him $5200 until the following Tuesday? He’d pay me back with interest. I wanted to say, “Sure. Let me have my financial guy wire you the money. You loser.” What kind of idiot did he think I was? Needless to say, I did not fall for his game. But. He was the idiot. The following morning he texted, “I guess you fell asleep last night. I didn’t hear from you. I hope I’ll hear from you today and you’ll help me out.” I wrote. “Good luck.” His response, “I guess this means you don’t want to talk to me anymore.” Are you f-ing kidding me? Either I was a fool or this guy was out there in left field! The next day it continued. “Does this mean we’re not going to meet?” Oh, good God! Did I have to fly a banner that said, “I’M NOT AN IDIOT!!” I did not respond. A day later, “I respect your decision not to talk to me. I am weeding out all the bad people in my life so I won’t be talking to you anymore.” Wait? I was the “bad” person. Weed away dude! Good riddance! So, I dipped my toe into the online dating game, and this is what I got. Weirdo #1. In the books! The game goes on…