A Letter to Myself…Lessons I’ve Learned

Dear 19-year-old Mikki,

DSC_0215You have been knocked down. Flat face. You will feel like you can you never put two feet on the ground and run again. But you can. And you will. Faster than you’ve ever run before. Alone. Terrifying. Intimidating. Daunting. You will pack your bags and head to California. San Diego. And it will work.

You will find a small place. Safe. Venture out into comfort zones. Meet people slowly. You will be overwhelmed by the warmth. Kindness. Compassion. You feel welcome. In a short time, it feels like home. And you will grow. Life becomes real. You will write. A lot. You will write about life before. And after. You will write about lessons. All that you’ve learned. You will write about hubby. This will be your way to carry out his legacy. It’s a good thing. Carry that in your heart.

1. The big things aren’t so big anymore. You will be blessed with graciousness and hurt with inhumanity. You will hold on to those who love you and let go of others.  life is unpredictable
2. It’s okay to take care of yourself. Even before you take care of others. If you don’t, you won’t be around either.  take care of yourself (1)
3.Life is unpredictable. You think you can plan. It doesn’t always work out the way you want. Be prepared.
4.Life is short. Live it. There are no second chances. No do-overs. You will wish there were. Don’t look back. Keep your eyes forward.
5. There is no timetable for grief. No conventional way to mourn. No normal.
6. Life will never be the same. You may never have the same kind of happiness. The same kind of love. But you can create a new normal. A new happy.
7. There will be an ending. And a beginning. You will deal with both. Embrace them.
8. Be patient. With yourself. Your family. Friends. Everyone grieves in their own way. It is a journey that only you can take to arrive at a place of peace and acceptance.  life is short 3 (1)
9. You will have to make decisions you never thought you would have to make. You will take over. Roles. “Things.” You will become mother and father. Accountant. Handyman. Do it all. You can do it. And you will.

“The road of life twists and turns and no two
directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”

Mikki Eveloff

I am certainly no princess, but I did marry my Prince Charming. We had the once upon a time and the “almost” happily ever after until August 30th, 2014 when my Prince Gregger died tragically on the beach in Maui. I believe in fairytales. I believe in fate. I believe that “everything happens for a reason.” We planned a lifetime together…75 years to be exact. Someone or something changed our plans and gave us a new “ever after.”

So here I am. I am still a wife, but now they call me a widow. I am a mom and grandma…three children, two in-laws, and two grandchildren. Life has changed and it’s time to move forward. It doesn’t stop, it keeps on going, so I do too. It’s my choice. Be happy, be grateful. It’s the only choice.

I have a treasure trove of memories to share..it’s how I keep the happily ever after alive. A True Love Fairytale is 40 years of memories…it’s the essence of our happily ever after. It’s the imperfections of our perfect marriage. And it’s what makes today beautiful.