Happy Fourth of July

Happy Fourth!

fourth 4Fourth of July. A time for traditions, picnics, parades, parties, fireworks, and flags. It sounds so unAmerican, but Gregger and I weren’t all rah-rah when it came to the fourth.  I’ve HATED fireworks ever since I was a kid. My family would pack up the car geared up for a night of beauty in the skies. While they blanketed beneath the stars, I was hiding in the car cowering with my ears covered. I would peek to see some of the pretty colors, but the NOISE…OUCH! I don’t think Gregger was a fan either. Fireworks were meant to be seen from far, far away! We rallied our American spirit for the kids and experienced the elaborate displays of color exploding in the sky for a few years. Then we made excuses. Parties at the house. Too late. Too much traffic. Watch in the backyard. Whatever. We just didn’t want to go anymore. The kids got busy. Tennis tournaments, travel, life. It became another day off for the Gregger. The store was closed. YEAH! He was 100% disconnected. We loved it. I loved it the most.

We had some really fun fourths. Maui. Fireworks over the Pacific. Aspen. A high-spirited fourth celebration with local residents and visitors from dawn til dark. A goofy parade, U.S. Airforce jet flyby, concerts, a kid’s bicycle rodeo, and a breathtaking fireworks display over Aspen Mountain capped off a magnificent day. We’d hang on the streets with coffee in hand and soak up the American spirit. It was contagious, joyous, and just plain old fun.  fireworks

As the kids moved away from home, it became our day. A day to sleep in a little bit later. For Gregger, that meant 6 am if we were lucky. He’d have a boatload of chores he “thought” he had to get done before the world was awake. Why should he sleep when things could get done? So even on holidays he was up and running with his routine. Drove me nuts! But I wasn’t going to change him. I finally just accepted. Let it be. This was not a battle worth fighting anymore. He was always going to win. Sometimes we’d just hang. Do nothing. Sit and drink coffee. Check emails. Facebook. Go to Starbucks. Sit and talk. Go for a walk. Too hot to walk? We’d hang at home and just be together. Happy. So rare. But so much fun. I’d give anything for one more of those “nothing” days.

fourthThe Fourth is a day of independence, celebrating the history, government and traditions of our great country. I believe this year has a greater significance with the victory that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage. While I was unable to attend one of the weddings last year, Gregger was proud to be part of two very special marriages. These four people played a very significant role in both of our lives and still do today. I know Gregger and I share in our joy that this liberty can no longer be denied. As this decision impacts friends and family, there is no greater time than Independence Day to say, “Woo-hoo!”

 I will look to the skies this year. I will see stars. I may see fireworks. But most of all I will see Gregger. I can feel him embracing me with his love, warmth, and compassionate spirit. Happy Fourth of July!

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Mother's Day - A True Love Fairytale

Mother’s Day

pregnantWhen I was younger people used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My answer? I wanted to be a mom. So unconventional for my time. It was the time of burning bras, Equal Rights, Gloria Steinam. It was a time when women were moving from the kitchen to the boardroom, Billy Jean King was killing it on the court, and being a “mom” was not the coolest career in town. I didn’t care. I went to college. I taught special education, an incredibly rewarding job, but, I just wanted to be a MOM!

Getting there wasn’t so easy for me. I wasn’t one of those first timers who thought about getting pregnant and, BAM, it happened. Unfortunately I was slightly cursed with endometriosis and some other delightful pelvic disorders that cramped the pregnancy process. This was extremely disheartening for one who only strived to be a MOM. My life became a series of doctor’s visits, surgeries, and overall disappointment when this endometriosis thing decided to crush my plans of becoming a mom.

Gregger was my rock through the whole process. He schlepped to doctor’s visits, he sat by my bedside during interminable hospital stays, he hugged me when another month went by and no good news. It took a strain on both of us. The temperatures, the tricks, the prayers, whatever it took, but nothing worked. We went to an adoption agency. We put our name on the list and spoke with a social worker. At the same time, we talked about fertility drugs. We had to wait until I got my next period. We waited and waited and waited. Come on! I finally had a good plan. This might actually work. We went back to the doctor and asked if there was something he could do to bring on my period. He did some blood work to make sure everything else was okay. Great! What else could be wrong? Well…only the GREATEST THING EVER! I WAS PREGNANT! This was ludicrous! We had been to the adoption agency (we were on a list); we were waiting to do fertility treatments; and now I was REALLY pregnant!

“A mother’s heart is a patchwork of love.”

I think I was the happiest pregnant person walking the face of the earth. My belly popped (very little, but to me it was huge) within two weeks. Back then we wore those hideous polyester, stretchy pants with matching tunics, not the cute stuff of today. I didn’t care. I was loud and proud, belly, butt, and all.

“Mother’s hold their child’s hand for a moment and their heart for a lifetime.”

I was about 4 months pregnant for my first Mother’s Day. It wasn’t quite official yet, but official enough for me. That baby was in my belly and I was going to be a mom. We hadn’t started setting up the nursery (4 months seemed a bit premature) but Gregger surprised me with my dream mama’s gift…a cane rocking chair. Looking back it was really quite ugly, but I rocked all three of my kids in that chair. It moved with us five times and kept on rocking. I think a few of the canes broke here and there but we just cushioned the seat and a-rocking we did go. That chair saved me many a night when someone was crying, sick or hungry. I read countless fairytales, sang untold nursery rhymes, and rocked ’til my bottom was numb. But those were some of my most cherished moments. Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was rocking my #1 baby to sleep and now he has two babies of his own.  rocking chair

Mother’s Day will be different this year. My kids will make it special just because we will be together. Nothing fancy.  No brunches or dinners. Just time together. We’ve all learned the value of a moment. We will miss Gregger. But somehow he will be right there with us as he always was and always will be. Thanks to Gregger I was lucky enough to become a mom three times! And one blessed mom I am!

“Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends but only one mother in the whole world.”

Happy Mother’s Day to All!

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