Happy Fourth of July

Happy Fourth!

fourth 4Fourth of July. A time for traditions, picnics, parades, parties, fireworks, and flags. It sounds so unAmerican, but Gregger and I weren’t all rah-rah when it came to the fourth.  I’ve HATED fireworks ever since I was a kid. My family would pack up the car geared up for a night of beauty in the skies. While they blanketed beneath the stars, I was hiding in the car cowering with my ears covered. I would peek to see some of the pretty colors, but the NOISE…OUCH! I don’t think Gregger was a fan either. Fireworks were meant to be seen from far, far away! We rallied our American spirit for the kids and experienced the elaborate displays of color exploding in the sky for a few years. Then we made excuses. Parties at the house. Too late. Too much traffic. Watch in the backyard. Whatever. We just didn’t want to go anymore. The kids got busy. Tennis tournaments, travel, life. It became another day off for the Gregger. The store was closed. YEAH! He was 100% disconnected. We loved it. I loved it the most.

We had some really fun fourths. Maui. Fireworks over the Pacific. Aspen. A high-spirited fourth celebration with local residents and visitors from dawn til dark. A goofy parade, U.S. Airforce jet flyby, concerts, a kid’s bicycle rodeo, and a breathtaking fireworks display over Aspen Mountain capped off a magnificent day. We’d hang on the streets with coffee in hand and soak up the American spirit. It was contagious, joyous, and just plain old fun.  fireworks

As the kids moved away from home, it became our day. A day to sleep in a little bit later. For Gregger, that meant 6 am if we were lucky. He’d have a boatload of chores he “thought” he had to get done before the world was awake. Why should he sleep when things could get done? So even on holidays he was up and running with his routine. Drove me nuts! But I wasn’t going to change him. I finally just accepted. Let it be. This was not a battle worth fighting anymore. He was always going to win. Sometimes we’d just hang. Do nothing. Sit and drink coffee. Check emails. Facebook. Go to Starbucks. Sit and talk. Go for a walk. Too hot to walk? We’d hang at home and just be together. Happy. So rare. But so much fun. I’d give anything for one more of those “nothing” days.

fourthThe Fourth is a day of independence, celebrating the history, government and traditions of our great country. I believe this year has a greater significance with the victory that the Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage. While I was unable to attend one of the weddings last year, Gregger was proud to be part of two very special marriages. These four people played a very significant role in both of our lives and still do today. I know Gregger and I share in our joy that this liberty can no longer be denied. As this decision impacts friends and family, there is no greater time than Independence Day to say, “Woo-hoo!”

 I will look to the skies this year. I will see stars. I may see fireworks. But most of all I will see Gregger. I can feel him embracing me with his love, warmth, and compassionate spirit. Happy Fourth of July!

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Life is worth a CELEBRATION

happy momentsYesterday was my son’s 34th birthday. As much as it’s a celebration, it’s hard not feel the empty space. Gregger would have made the first phone call; sent the first goofy text. He would have wished me “Happy Birthday” and we would have reminisced over the crazy sequence of events that took place on the day of Ryan’s birth. Ryan wasn’t due until the beginning of May, but I had a c-section scheduled for sometime around April 25th. Gregger went to work as usual and I was off to my best friend’s (Cindy) daughter’s birthday party with Adam. Early in the day I started having funny feelings in my tummy, but just thought it was indigestion. This couldn’t possibly be labor – it was over 3 weeks before my real due date. When I arrived I mentioned the rumblings and timing regularity to Cindy – 5 minutes, 3 minutes.  She urged me to call the doctor, but, being the “wuss” I am, I did not want to bother him on a weekend. I finally relented and he told me to get my ass over to the hospital. It was probably just braxton hicks (false labor), but they had to be sure.

Again with the “wussiness,” I didn’t want to stress Gregger at work, so I called one friend to schlepp me to the hospital and another to babysit Adam. I assured everyone I would be returning home shortly. This was surely a fluke of some kind. Upon arrival I was strapped to machines and tubes. No sooner did they start beeping away than the nurse came in and said, “Honey, where’s your husband?” Obviously I said he was busy at work and asked the all important question, “WHY???” “Well, he’d better get his ass over here because you are in labor and we’re taking this baby in one hour!” What! I had a hair appointment, nail appointment…I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t prepared! My mom couldn’t come to stay with Adam…this was not the way it was supposed to work! Gregger was with a client…well, that was the end of that sale! He actually left early on a SATURDAY – this was big stuff! Good thing –  they weren’t kidding. I was prepped, prodded, and poked and one hour later, I was cut open clean. Ryan Matthew Eveloff was born on April 18th, weighing in at 5 lbs. 13 oz. He was a peanut of a thing, but precious all the same. We weren’t even sure of a name. We had Lindsey picked out for a girl – same girl’s name we had for Adam. We thought about Christian and Bryan, but when we saw his tiny features and big blue eyes, he became Ryan Matthew at that moment. We just knew.

We celebrated 33 birthdays together as a family. There are far too many to recount, but they were all extraordinarily special.

#1: Oscar Taylor’s at Biltmore Fashion Park – carrot cake smeared all over his face.

#9: stunning surprise flying to Disneyland for the day…one of the best of all.

#18: crazy celebration at the house with friends and family.

#33: Ocean Club, our ritual, our favorite.  IMG_1316

Steak 44#34: New tradition, just the two of us. New restaurant, new atmosphere, new memories.

I will make it special. I will always let Ryan know what a wonderful son he’s been to BOTH of us. But there will always be a void that I can no longer fill. We will make new traditions, new celebrations because, in the end, LIFE is worth a CELEBRATION.  life is a celebration