It’s Not Happening To You – It’s Happening For You

Late Blooming Lessons From Life’s Second Chapter

A journey of discovery. A discovery of self. Pieces of old. Paired with pieces of new.

Lesson #3: When Life Changes in an Instant: Finding Purpose in the Pain

“Life is always happening for you, not to you.  Appreciate that gift and you are wealthy. Now and forever.”

Life has a funny way of throwing us into the deep end without warning.

One minute, everything feels steady.
The plans we’ve made. The dreams we’ve nurtured.
Everything is unfolding the way it’s supposed to.

And then.
In an instant. It’s gone.
The life we built.
The certainty we held onto.
The future we imagined.
Vanished. Just like that.
Leaving behind a trail of questions.  Heartache. And confusion.

I thought I knew my path.
I was exactly where I was meant to be.
The years of hard work. The sacrifices. They were finally paying off.
The kids were grown. Our nest was empty.
We were stepping into what we called “our time.”
Freedom. Adventure. Ease.

But then… WHAM.
Without warning. Life changed.
There was no time to prepare. No gentle transition.
Just a crash.
And suddenly, I was standing in the wreckage of what once was. No map. No direction. No idea how to move forward.

I spiraled through the familiar questions:
Why me?
Why now?
What am I supposed to do with this?

The pain was suffocating.
The fear. Overwhelming.
Some days, all I wanted to do was crawl under the covers and disappear.
But somehow—within the mess. The chaos. The heartbreak. A quiet truth began to rise:

This wasn’t happening to me. It was happening for me.

At first, that idea felt impossible. Even offensive.
How could something so painful be for me?

But over time, I realized something:
I couldn’t control what had happened.
But I could control how I responded.

I had a choice.
Let it break me.
Or let it build me.
Sink. Or rise.

The road ahead wasn’t smooth.
It was full of twists and turns that left me breathless.
There were days that tested every ounce of strength I had.
Moments when I wanted to quit.
But with each challenge, a new lesson revealed itself.
And with each lesson, a deeper desire to keep going.

To grow.
To evolve.
To live. Not just exist. But truly live.

Here’s the truth no one really prepares us for.
Life is unpredictable.
We don’t always get a say in what happens to us.
But we always get a say in how we respond.

When life throws a hurdle in your path, you can freeze.
Or you can jump.
And if you fall?
You learn to get back up again.

Because on the other side of pain, beyond the fear and the loss and the uncertainty, something greater is waiting.
A stronger version of you.
A deeper understanding of your purpose.
A life you never imagined. But one that was meant for you all along.

I’m not here to pretend it’s easy.
It’s not.
The road is hard. And messy. And unpredictable.
But it’s also filled with meaning—if we’re willing to look for it.

What I know now is this:

It’s not happening to you.
It’s happening for you.
And what you choose to do with it?
That’s where your power lies.