A Love Letter To Our Would-Have-Been 50 Years

Late Blooming Lessons – Life’s Second Chapter

A journey of discovery. A discovery of self. Pieces of old. Paired with pieces of new.

#16: A Love Letter to Our Would-Have-Been 50 Years

“What would have been 50 years is now forever.”

01.10.2026. Today would have been our 50th wedding anniversary. Not just any anniversary. A WOW! We made it! Anniversary!

Of all the anniversaries, this was the one I looked forward to the most. It felt like a declaration. A quiet but powerful statement. Proof that we truly made it. Through the good. The messy. The beautiful. And all the in-between.

But we didn’t.

Our happily ever after ended. Much too soon.

Our anniversary was always sacred. A day set aside to honor the love we chose. No matter what was happening in the world or in our lives, it was ours. Each year marked more than love. It honored the life we built together. Today, that love remains. But it now carries a bittersweet ache, softened and shadowed by your absence. 

For eleven years, I’ve continued to mark this day as if you were still here. I whisper “Happy Anniversary,” hoping somehow you hear me. I hold onto impossible dreams. That you’ll walk into the room. That we’ll celebrate another year together. But reality arrives instead. No cards exchanged. No surprise gifts. No toasts to years conquered side by side.

Why do I hold on so tightly?

Because. This day was ours. A promise we chose to honor. Every. Single. Year.

Eleven years ago, we vowed to spend seventy-five years together. We made plans. We believed we had time. But fate intervened. Fate won. And those dreams remain forever unfinished.  In this “would have been” moment, there are still so many things I wish I could say to you.

When I reflect on what I miss most, it’s not the grand moments. It’s the small ones. I would trade anything for the warmth of your touch. The sparkle in your eyes. The laughter that filled our days with both joy. And tears.

Our journey began at twenty-one. Young. Innocent. Deeply in love, yet unaware of how much life and marriage would teach us.  We learned together. We paused. We stumbled.  And we always found our way back to each other. In those spaces, our foundation strengthened. Our bond deepened. Our love grew steadier. Stronger. And more resilient.

Together, we faced it all. Raising our family. Building a business. Navigating triumphs. And losses. Enduring heartbreak. Through every season, we knew one thing for certain: in the end, it was always us. Being a widow on this day is painful beyond words, yet I remain profoundly grateful for the thirty-nine years we shared. You were my soulmate. My best friend. My partner. Our story – imperfect, yet perfect for us – is forever etched in my heart.

I raise a toast to our would-have-been 50th anniversary. Loving you was the best thing I ever did. I only wish our fairytale had been granted more time.

As I write this 50th anniversary love letter, I reflect on a life that held both the best. And the worst. I cherish it all, because it shaped the extraordinary team we became. Our struggles taught us gratitude. Communication. And compassion – qualities that defined our love. Even after decades together, we still wanted more. More time. More love. More us.

You will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. Some may question that. Why not my children? Or grandchildren? But without you, they would not exist. You will always be the best. You continue to guide me. Teach me. And help me grow into a stronger version of myself. The void you left is immeasurable, yet I carry your lessons with me every day.

I miss you beyond words. But I keep moving forward, knowing life is too short to merely exist.

Here’s to fifty years of what should have been. I will forever celebrate the love. The laughter. The tears. And the life we shared. I was blessed beyond measure to walk this journey with you and to build the beautiful family we created.

I love you. Always.

 

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