Author: Mikki Eveloff

I am certainly no princess, but I did marry my Prince Charming. We had the once upon a time and the “almost” happily ever after until August 30th, 2014 when my Prince Gregger died tragically on the beach in Maui. I believe in fairytales. I believe in fate. I believe that “everything happens for a reason.” We planned a lifetime together…75 years to be exact. Someone or something changed our plans and gave us a new “ever after.” So here I am. I am still a wife, but now they call me a widow. I am a mom and grandma…three children, two in-laws, and two grandchildren. Life has changed and it’s time to move forward. It doesn’t stop, it keeps on going, so I do too. It’s my choice. Be happy, be grateful. It’s the only choice. I have a treasure trove of memories to share..it’s how I keep the happily ever after alive. A True Love Fairytale is 40 years of memories…it’s the essence of our happily ever after. It’s the imperfections of our perfect marriage. And it’s what makes today beautiful.

Year 6

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6 years, 72 months, 2190 days, 52,560 hours, 3,153,600 minutes, 189,215,800 seconds since you’ve been gone…and it still seems like yesterday. August. Ugh. The calendar turns over and so do my nerves. But it’s there. The month. And it’s full of anticipation. Reliving the moments. The joy. The laughter. Family. Together time. And then. Gone. Over. Life changed. In. A. Moment. Life doesn’t give you do overs. We all learned that. We were left standing. Empty handed. Empty hearted. We still are.  I write this tribute to Greg every year. Honor his memory. The words flow. Easy. From my heart. 2020? So different. My feelings? The same. Melancholy. Heavyhearted. Nostalgic. But. So are hundreds Read more [...]

Happy Father’s Day 2020!

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Happy Father’s Day Greg! Five Father’s Days, six years without you. It never gets easier. As each holiday rolls around I find myself in a state of melancholy. It washes over me. Encompasses my being. Uncontrollable. I don’t realize it’s happening. But. The calendar reminds me. You. Should be here. Celebrating. Your family. Kids. Grandkids. We. Should be celebrating. Together. I’m sad for what you’ve missed. The joy. The laughter. Their love. Smiles. The milestones. The way they make every day better. Especially when life seems to suck.  These are hard times right now. As much as I want you here, I don’t. The pandemic. Economic hardships. Police brutality. Riots. America in crisis. Read more [...]

The “Should Have Been” 66

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Dear Greg, Today is another of those “should have been” celebrations. Your 66th birthday!  Six birthdays. Without you. Six birthdays trying to figure out how to keep celebrating when sometimes celebrating is the last thing I want to do. This is one of those times. It’s been a rough week. The world was reminded of the fragility of life. It touched so close to home. A superstar, his child and seven others with families and loves lost their lives. In a moment. A flash. And the world mourned. What began as an ordinary day ended in tragedy. And no one gets it. They shake their heads. Question. Why? How could this happen? Unfortunately. It does. And as truly awful as it is it happened to Read more [...]

“The Would Have Been” 44

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Dear Greg, Today “would have been” our 44th anniversary. It “would have been” a day we spent celebrating our love for one another. A day together. Because. You ALWAYS made January 10th OUR day. Why the “would have been?” Because. You are NOT here. And. That’s MY reality. For six years I celebrated these occasions “as if.” I said, “Happy Anniversary.” “As if” you’d walk into the room. “As if” we’d celebrate all night long. But. We won’t. Not ever. Reality. It is the anniversary of our wedding day. But. We won’t exchange mushy cards. Surprise gifts. Cheers to the years. Or pat each on the back for conquering another year!  Why is this day more important Read more [...]

5 years…

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Dear Gregger, 5 years, 60 months, 1825 days, 43,800 hours, 2,628,000 minutes, 157,680,000 seconds since you’ve been gone. I thought it’d be different by now. Not quite so raw. But. It stings. Burns. Aches. The pain. Sadness. Tears. Far too pronounced. Wetting the corners of my eyes. My face. Emptying my heart of the pain. I'll be okay. But. For the moment. I remember. You are gone. And the pain is real. Somedays I can barely remember my telephone number. I search frantically for a word, a name. Blank. Nothing. But the vivid memories of August 30th, 2014? They are etched in my brain. I blink my eyes. I’m back on the beach. Black Rock. Maui. Sun shining. Ocean blue. Perfect Hawaiiian Read more [...]

Happy Birthday to Me!

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As I reflect on my birthday this year (and it’s a big one), I ask myself, “Is this what I thought this age would look like?” Where did I think I would be? This was most definitely not the life I’d planned. But. I am happy with the me I’ve become. So I believe that’s an amazing accomplishment. A gift to myself. Why did it take so long? Why couldn’t I have learned these things and lived this life years ago? Why couldn’t I have been this “me” for all of my life? Maybe it took this journey to get me to this place. Maybe it took life’s hard lessons to make me realize the simple things. And. I suppose that’s what life is really all about. Such simple wisdom. Such simple truth. Read more [...]

Happy 65th Birthday Gregger!

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Dear Gregger, Happy 65th Birthday! Wow! What woulda, coulda, shoulda been. A celebration. Party. Reflection. Your request?Understated. Family. Maybe. But. Knowing what I know now. NEVER. You deserve BIG. Birthdays. Every one worthy of celebration. Because. We never know when it’s going to be our last. So. WE will CELEBRATE. WE will rejoice in your LIFE. WE will treasure the moments we had. Not the moments we LOST. Because there were far too many. Birthdays. Each one a gift. A time to renew. Milestones. 18. 21. 25. 40. 50. And then. 65. Medicare. Retirement. Slow down. LOL! Never. You. The original energizer bunny. Going, going, going. Morning to night. Your gears spinning. Faster. Harder. Read more [...]

Happy 43rd Anniversary!

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Dear Gregger, 43 Years…Our Anniversary…Happy? 4 ½ years ago it was. For 38 years it was a day to celebrate. Us. But today? No. For better or worse. ‘Til death do us part. As we did. Parted. August 30th, 2014. I stand here alone. 43 years. Wondering. Wishing. Wanting. But that’s all I can do. I believed in fairytales. Happily ever afters. This wasn’t our ending. I want a rewrite. Now what? How do I “celebrate?” How can I find joy on this special day that joined us together as “one?” We were writing our story. But there are so many blank pages. I can only go back and read what was. Because that’s all there will ever be. Memories. January 10, 1976. Our first dance. “We’ve Read more [...]

Happy New Year 2019

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As I sit here reflecting on 2018, I ask myself, “What would I do differently? What would I change? How could I have been better?” I don’t have exact answers. It was a year of happy moments, a year of loss, a year of ups, downs, and all the in-betweens. It was LIFE. Every day presented something new. A challenge. An obstacle. Joy. Stress. Family. Friendship. Laughter. Love. But, each day was an opportunity to grow. To learn. To become better. To be kind. Compassionate. Patient. Empathic. Nurturing. And grateful. Always grateful. Not for “things.” But for the people we are so blessed to have in our lives. The people who fill our hearts. We so often take these people for granted. We forget. Read more [...]

4 Years

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4 years. 48 months. 1440 days. 34,560 hours. 2,073,600 minutes. 124,416,000 seconds. An eternity. An instant. Forever. A flash. Time. Gone. From earth to shining star. In heaven. August 30th, 2014. August 29th. Our life was magical. Vacation. Maui. Beautiful. Magical. Sunshine. Family. Laughter. And love. Perfect. And in a moment. Gone. My love. Husband. Father. Brother. Friend. Gone. Our lives. Our love. Our magic. One moment. Lives changed. Forever. How? Why? There are no answers. Reasons. Even logical explanations. We can’t imagine. We don’t think it will happen. In the moment, it seems impossible. It did for me. We take for granted. We live. We breathe. And one day. We don’t. It was Read more [...]