Family Celebrations of Love

Big affairs were always some of the happiest times in our lives, and with my family they were (and are) neverending! Birthdays, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, and now weddings! We believe in celebrating the HAPPY TIMES! My mom's motto - don't wait for the "unhappy"- life is too short not to CELEBRATE. So celebrate we did. But this weekend was different for me. I was missing my "half." I had to face the music alone, dance to my own beat. The anticipation and anxiety was excruciating - stomach rumbles, sleepless nights, and incessant jitters. They slowly subsided in the presence of my incredible family who provided so much love and support. Every family has it's schtick, it's drama. The Bronska family is Read more [...]
The Monster

“The Monster”

Fear can be a debilitating monster. It can show it's ugly face at the most unlikely moments, very sneaky and unsuspecting. Your chest tightens, your heart races, your muscles tighten. Your breathing speeds up so much you can't keep up .It almost hurts. I never thought of myself as a fearful person. As a child I was cautious. I wasn't the daredevil child who swung from the jungle gym upside down. I tried things, but I was carefully cautious. I was a ballet dancer, a piano player. I didn't take chances. The "biggest" thing I did back then was dive off the high board! I remember the day I did a flip into the deep end. You wouldn't catch me climbing the stairs today, much less walk the plank! The Read more [...]

Life is worth a CELEBRATION

Yesterday was my son's 34th birthday. As much as it's a celebration, it's hard not feel the empty space. Gregger would have made the first phone call; sent the first goofy text. He would have wished me "Happy Birthday" and we would have reminisced over the crazy sequence of events that took place on the day of Ryan's birth. Ryan wasn't due until the beginning of May, but I had a c-section scheduled for sometime around April 25th. Gregger went to work as usual and I was off to my best friend's (Cindy) daughter's birthday party with Adam. Early in the day I started having funny feelings in my tummy, but just thought it was indigestion. This couldn't possibly be labor - it was over 3 weeks before Read more [...]

The Weekend that Was

So I did it! I made it through the Vegas weekend...I survived the travel, the memories, and a little bit of heartache. I had melancholy moments, but I also had laughter, sunshine, and joy. I felt Gregger around me, pushing me, encouraging me. He would hate some of the things I did, the way I traveled, but it sort of made me laugh. For the first time in a long time, I was making my own choices. Believe me, I would be much happier with his choices or our choices, but making my choices at this point did feel pretty good. They were silly dumb things, but that's okay. They were still my choices and I was okay with them. It took me a long time to be okay with my choices. That probably sounds a bit Read more [...]
Las Vegas Trip

Lady Luck

I know I have been talking a lot about all of the "firsts" in my life lately, but right now my life is all about change. Generally I don't do well with change. I am a woman of routine. I follow the same pattern every day, eat the same foods, and am basically one of the most boring people on the planet. Give me a plan and I'm okay, but change that plan, and it takes me a while to adapt. So these past seven months have literally thrown me into a spiral. The daily changes and adaptations are overwhelming, not to mention, the BIG ones - selling the businesses, putting the house on the market, "going out," and now one more. I am taking my first BIG GIRL trip on my own. Well, not completely on my Read more [...]
In The Midst Of Chaos There is Joy

In The Midst Of Chaos There is Joy

My life lately could best be described as total chaos...I am trying to keep the pieces together, but every day a piece of the puzzle just doesn't seem to fit in place. Whether it's water flooding my hallways and kitchen from a broken line in my refrigerator, or pools of blood covering my floors from a bleeding dog, or another dog vomiting everywhere just as I finish cleaning up one mess after another, or the mundane routine of trying to keep bills in check, it's just a little crazy. But, in the midst of all of this trivial "B.S." I was blessed to be part of the "Teen Suit Event" at the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Scottsdale last Friday afternoon. It was a beautiful reminder that none of Read more [...]
Tomorrow’s Just a Day Away

Tomorrow’s Just a Day Away

  Sadness has surrounded me this week. Death, tragedies, heartache. A dear childhood friend, a "best friend" mother, and a beloved father were all lost to people in my circle of life. I passed a fresh flower memorial on the side of the road with people hovering by and discovered that a motorcyclist had been killed the day before.  There are no words to express the sadness, the loss, the grief. One can only offer support, love, and friendship. I know this all too well. I also encountered several people, some strangers, others mere acquaintances, who had lost their spouses. I am trying to find the message, the answers, the reasons for so much all at once. There are no reasons, there Read more [...]
some days suck

S.D.S.!

What the heck is S.D.S.? SOME DAYS SUCK! There's  just no other way to say it! Even B.G.D. (Before Gregger Died) I had those sucky days, but they were different. Somehow the sucky days always had a luminous light at the end...I always knew sunshine would walk in the door around 7 pm and brighten my day...or at least give it his best shot. He tried, lord knows he tried, but I could be harder than a brick wall. I had my own PMS...pissed, mopey, and sultry. Whether he broke through or not, I knew he was there. P.G.D.(Post Gregger's Death) it's different. I have to learn how to deal with the PMS and the sucky days on my own. It's okay...it's just another lesson. It's another step toward growing Read more [...]
Birds In Love - A True Love Fairytale

The Love Birds

  This is the tale of two love birds, a tale of love, loss, and sorrow. A tale of fate, choices, and destiny that reminds us whatever the plan, there is no plan. Captivated by an early sunrise and the quiet solitude of the morn, I was startled by a thunderous crash outside my window. Afraid to look out, I slowly peeked out to find one quail fluttering to the ground in desperation, while another hovered over, bobbing it's head back and forth. I literally felt helpless, but a rush of emotions and memories came flooding back to me. I don't want to sound heartless, but I am generally not a huge bird lover. They kind of scare me. This was so different. These birds were so connected. The Read more [...]

The View

For over 20 years, I have gazed out my kitchen window while sipping my morning coffee. What have I seen?  Hummingbirds fluttering by, bunnies hopping, sun rising in the east, and every now and then a few wispy clouds overhead. In 20 years I think I have been too oblivious, too caught up in the "view" before me. I have been too busy rushing to straighten up, get a load of laundry done, make Gregger's oatmeal, or catch up on social media. In other words, I never realized what was right in front of me. When we traveled, the view became a whole different world. WE actually STOPPED. We saw the world through four eyes and it was beautiful!  the coastline of Italy while cruising the Read more [...]