Happy 40th Anniversary Gregger!

Dear Gregger, Happy 40th! Our Anniversary! This should be the easiest love letter I’ve ever written you. But it’s not. It’s the hardest. It should be a “happy” 40th. But I’m here and you’re “there.” We should be spending the day together. Reminiscing. Celebrating. Patting each other on the back and saying, “Hey, good job! We did it!” But we’re not. We talked about this day for so long. The milestones we marked. Our wedding day. Mere babes. Snowflakes drifting. A white blanket of wonderland. Good luck. I believe it was. Honeymoon. Hawaii. All those islands. But Maui. Our favorite. Who would have guessed our fairytale would “end” there? But the times between. We had Read more [...]

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happy_anniversary

Happy Anniversary

Tomorrow is my parent’s 54th wedding anniversary. Their marriage was always such an inspiration for me. When Gregger and I were going through some of our toughest times, I would spend time with parents to remind me what I wanted my life to look like in 50 years. It worked. Life wasn’t always easy for them. Is it ever? But they made it work. Five kids. Ten year span. Not a lot of time to be “just two.” But they did. Early bed times. Date nights. And when the nest was empty, they were ready. I watched. I learned. I’d slip, but I knew I’d always come back. We’d always come back. We’d be the ones to make it. Just like my parents did. They laughed. Had fun. Enjoyed being together. Read more [...]

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Channeling my Gregger

A few weeks ago I was challenged by one of those life situations that just gets me in the gut. I was writhing in anger; not my prettiest moment. I don't like feeling angry. It's ugly, gets the best of me, and seems way too powerful. Rewind 8 months, a year. Gregger was my vent release. I'd shout, curse, blow off steam and he'd listen, sometimes patiently, sometimes not, but, bottom line, I knew he was there. Where do I go with this anger? I get angrier with myself just for being angry. It is truly a hideous emotion that sucks the energy out of me. I am a positive person. I don't have time for such pointless emotions. Good riddance to this monstrous soul that is sucking the life out of me. So Read more [...]

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In The Midst Of Chaos There is Joy

In The Midst Of Chaos There is Joy

My life lately could best be described as total chaos...I am trying to keep the pieces together, but every day a piece of the puzzle just doesn't seem to fit in place. Whether it's water flooding my hallways and kitchen from a broken line in my refrigerator, or pools of blood covering my floors from a bleeding dog, or another dog vomiting everywhere just as I finish cleaning up one mess after another, or the mundane routine of trying to keep bills in check, it's just a little crazy. But, in the midst of all of this trivial "B.S." I was blessed to be part of the "Teen Suit Event" at the Boys and Girls Club of Greater Scottsdale last Friday afternoon. It was a beautiful reminder that none of Read more [...]

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some days suck

S.D.S.!

What the heck is S.D.S.? SOME DAYS SUCK! There's  just no other way to say it! Even B.G.D. (Before Gregger Died) I had those sucky days, but they were different. Somehow the sucky days always had a luminous light at the end...I always knew sunshine would walk in the door around 7 pm and brighten my day...or at least give it his best shot. He tried, lord knows he tried, but I could be harder than a brick wall. I had my own PMS...pissed, mopey, and sultry. Whether he broke through or not, I knew he was there. P.G.D.(Post Gregger's Death) it's different. I have to learn how to deal with the PMS and the sucky days on my own. It's okay...it's just another lesson. It's another step toward growing Read more [...]

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