forgiveness

Forgiveness…An Act of Self-Love

I was watching “Grey’s Anatomy” last night. Tearjerker. Life threatened. Heartache. And pain. Some may think it sappy. Overdone. Washed up. But the message was strong. Forgiveness. Of others. Those who hurt us. And ourselves. While Meredith was struggling to survive and overcome devastating injuries, she was faced with a greater battle. Forgive those who had beaten her. Left her. Hurt her. Anger is easier. Hate is simpler. Forgiveness is hard. But in the end, the one who doesn’t forgive is the loser.  Her beloved Derek had died last season. Unexpectedly. Before his time. Before "their" time.  She went back to life. But the anger flared. I understand. Webber advised her to forgive herself. Read more [...]
happy valentines day

Happy Valentine’s Day – Second Time Around

Valentine’s Day. A day of love. Hugs. Kisses. Cards. Sentiments. Roses. Chocolates. Happiness. And couples. A day to remind me what I’ve lost. What I’m missing. Love. Hugs. Kisses. Gregger. OR, a day to remember. What I had. What we had. Love. Respect. Commitment. We were lucky. I believe we would have made it to the very end. Our fairytale end. We survived the bumps and bruises. More than we could count. But every bump made us stronger. Wiser. And more in love. So it’s not what I’m missing. It’s what I remember. The good. The great. The best. We didn’t need a “Hallmark holiday” for love. We simply tried to live it. What kept us going? It wasn’t magic. It was life. Real stuff. Read more [...]

Happy Birthday Gregger!

Happy Birthday, Gregger! #62! Today we celebrate YOU! Not the life you lost. But the life you LIVED! The love you shared. The joy you radiated. Your smile. Your laughter. Your grace and humility. A son. Brother. Father. Husband. And friend. Everyone’s friend. Those lucky enough to cross your path loved you. Minutes, days, years, or a lifetime. A shake of your hand, a smile, a kind word. You touched peoples' hearts. You left a mark. So we celebrate YOU. 2012…We celebrated at Dominick’s and went to Old Town to party with the young folk! What the heck were we thinking? I don’t think we lasted very long. Our ears couldn’t take it! But we laughed. Loved. And cheered. 2013…San Diego. Read more [...]

My Angel

I believe in angels. I believe they “show up” when I’m seeking guidance. Comfort. Support. Sometimes nothing. But I believe. Angels guide me in the direction of truth. Awareness. Light. Faith. A rainbow. Clouds. A penny from heaven. Music. Or messages that repeat over and over. Whatever the shape, size, or entity, I just know. My angel is there. So I listen. These past three weeks have been the second toughest of my life. Fighting the fight with my baby girl, Lucy. Reliving the horror of her attack. Evoking memories of Gregger’s passing in Hawaii. It all blended together. One after the other. I tried to find answers. Blank. Nothing. I kept sinking into a deep abyss of sadness. My heart Read more [...]

H(old) O(nto) P(ositive) E(xpectations)

“Where there’s hope, there’s life. It fills us with fresh courage and makes us strong again.” This week has been a test of wills. Strength. Physical. Mental. Emotional. I’ve been through it all. Some I’ve “won.” Some I’ve simply given into. Broken down. But, most of the time, “where there's a will, I’ve found a way.” In a week of physical challenges, I pushed myself to the max. Surpassed my goals. I believed my physical struggle paralleled Lucy’s pain. Her suffering. If she could battle on, so could I. I maxed out my times on the treadmill. I held a plank for 11 minutes and 50 seconds, all the while praying for Lucy’s recovery. Trembling, aching, I willed myself on. Read more [...]