The last few days have been a whirlwind. So much to do, yet I feel so little is getting done. I walk from room to room. I stare in closets. I peek in drawers. I open. Close. Walk away. It’s overwhelming. I don’t know where to start. 22 years. Life. Love. And memories. Stuffed away in spaces. What do I keep? What do I toss? What do I pack away? I don’t know. It seems that everything has a purpose. Everything has meaning. Even the dead plant on the shelf. Poor thing. Lost to my “brown thumb.” Gregger would be so sad. He loved his plants. And was super proud of his “green thumb.” Me too.
I worked my way into our closet. I figured it was a smart place to start. Not sure why. But I did. Boxes. And boxes. And boxes. All empty. Gregger loved to save. Hated throwing away. There are three reasons to save things: you may need it later; have a sentimental attachment; or don’t want to waste anything. But boxes? He always thought we might have to return something. Half the boxes went to items that were obsolete! Old Iphones. Cameras. Computers. Mophie cases. It was good for a laugh. And boy did I need a laugh. Thanks Gregger!
Tucked in a corner, high on the shelf hid a pile of dust. Much to my surprise, under all that dust, hid a pair of alligator cowboy boots. I tried to conjure up a memory, but it wouldn’t budge. I had flashes of him. Jeans, cowboy boots, a plaid shirt, but it could have been a dream. I just don’t remember. Sad. The boots. Butter soft leather and alligator with steel toe tips. They rocked! But on the Gregger? Not so sure! He wasn’t the cowboy type. Sharp. Dapper. Suave. But cowboy? Western? I beg to differ.
I moved onto the filing cabinet. I knew this was going to be one big headache. I persuaded my brother to help me with this arduous task. Gregger not only loved boxes. He loved papers. He thought you might need something someday. So SAVE IT! OMG! In a nutshell, we condensed two filing cabinets into ONE DRAWER! Gregger must have been watching me, wringing his hands, pulling his (nonexistent) hair, and biting his nails. But Gregger – it was time! We don’t own the TV from 1994! No need to keep the warranty from Best Buy! We no longer have the computer from 2000! Obsolete! Papers, papers, and more papers! It’s 2015 and it’s all in the CLOUD! Or somewhere like that. So we made a dent. A start. Tomorrow is another day.
I am stressed. Overwhelmed. Overloaded. But I am doing the best I can. Six years ago I wrote on my FB wall: “Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” So I will keep smiling. Keep sharing. Keep giving. Positive thoughts. Live. Love. Learn. And always be grateful. Blessings.
To be continued….